Newbies Nest

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Hippy and Papmom Lav for your encouragement

Lav, last weekend hubs was given 2 bottles of my fav poison. I decided that i must give them away or pour them out but didn't straight away. I felt good after my hols and was back at work. The fact of them sitting in the fridge just got too much and one afternoon after work our usual habit of sitting down together and having a drink happened with me having one of the bottles instead of my water that I had been having. After that I went to the bottlo and bought 4 more bottles which are now empty drinking them over the course of the last few days.

The strange thing is that our fridge has at least 3 different types of beer in it as well as spirits in cans and champane that has been there for at least 2 years. We have a cupboard that is full of assorted bottles of port, spirits etc. I am not the least bit interested in any of that but the white wine is my undoing.

Anyway, enough!!! I feel a bit teary today because of the last few days but mostly so pinged off at myself. Had to go get some groceries this morning but my resolve has returned and could walk right past bottlo and felt really good not to be going in there!!!

So I think that my first rule of not buying any in the first place is my best way to keep on track.

Tranq glad to see you're making the most of the good weather. Enjoy house hunting too - and your new lady friend.

Hi to everyone. We're off to the footy now as daughters friend is playing. Things we do!!!

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Yes, Mazzie, the best idea is not to buy it. I was tempted out of the blue today, but as I drove past the bottle store I suddenly realised it was Easter Sunday and everything was shut again. :H I'd like to think I would've driven past, but it helped to have no choice.
Congratulations on the date, Tranq. :h
Lavande, you're right that kids have to find their own interests, but sometimes in the holidays when your friends have all gone away it can be a challenge. Usually she'd be out playing netball, or making up song and dance routines with her friends. No shortage of things to do next week thank goodness. Today was wet so I took two kids to see How to Train a Dragon, took the dog on the beach for a while, lit the fire and kids are now playing cards and drawing. Tomorrow there's an Easter show, so hopefully the weather will cheer up a bit.
Enjoy the rest of your Easter people.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Happy Easter to those who celebrate. Hubby, son & I decorated our eggs. Glad that sonny will still do that with us. He's 23 years old but will still do our family tradition. We will hide the eggs around the living room tomorrow and he will go around and find them. :H He sure humors his old Mom & Dad. Poor guy.
Anyway......I'm doing ok. I did drink and if I can keep it to an occasional thing, I will be ok with it. But, I was really wanting to drink today. So, I am going to have to watch it.

[runningwind]

Newbies Nest

Good evening/morning Nesters,

I have been decorating Easter Eggs with my little girl and getting her Easter Basket ready for tomorrow. It has really turned into a fun day!

Lav- I was reading over everyone's post and saw were you took flowers to your mom. What a great way to honor your mother and Easter. I have lost both of my parents too, so I know what you mean when you say you still miss her. Anyway, it was a gorgeous sunny day in my part of the nest, so I thought I would send some up to you!

Tranq- Glad to hear you are having a nice Easter so far and that you enjoyed your date. Did you say you ordered a Roy Roger's?

NoraC- Thanks for the nice spread you put out for everyone but for some reason my stomach is a little upset today. I'll take you up on it tomorrow

Mazzie- It seems you already know what to do different the next time and thats a good thing. You will have more than a month AF before you know it!

Hippy Chick- I read in your post the other day, that your stomach has been bothering you for awhile now. Can you go to the doctors and get that checked out?
It sounds like you and your family are having a great Easter! Also, congratulations on 3-months AF, now how good is that! I know that must of been alot of hard work...

Papmom- I hope you enjoy your family dinner at the Inn, it sounds so cozy. You have sounded so happy lately and I think your right not to let that bottle of wine mess it up.

KatieB- I'am glad you checked in with us. It sounds like you have alot to think about...
You have had a very busy weekend so far, can you come clean my house also

Hello: fennel, dancingon, beanzy, Mangrove, lonely gal and everyone else that passes through.

Good-night all, I hope you have a peaceful nights rest.

runningwind

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Runningwind. I have been to the doctors and she did all sorts of tests. She told me my stomach lining was inflammed because I was drinking too much. But as I havent had a drink for so long, she must have told me that cause she didnt what else to say! Not a big fan of doctors at the best of times....
Sophie suggested slippery elm so I am going to check that out and see if that helps.

I read a quote yesterday that I think could be used in our struggle.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Muhammad Ali

We are suffering now to live the rest of our days as a (sober) champion.
Take care
HC xx

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

HC - I understand about you not being a fan of doctors - half the callers to my health line complain about doctors - not many do proper examinations and miss things.. we have to often make up for the lack of care these doctor's give! not just with medical advice, but with reassurance too - some doctors have had empathy removed the moment they graduated it seems.. lol :H
I've had a pretty good day today.. Easter sunday and was on my own all day.. i slept in til 12 midday (so nice..!) then read my book and watched a DVD.. i ended up going to buy more wine though.. but I didnt start drinking it til 5pm, i held out as i didnt want to drink during the day like i used to.. i guess im drinking now out of loneliness still.. not boredom as i did find heaps of things to do.. but i am still sooooo lonely! in a huge city like Sydney but i barely have 2 friends to rub together.. :upset:
I know its my fault.. i have issues that i am still working on.. lots of personal issues, though i dont hate myself anymore, i am a still a long way from loving myself.. i guess ppl pick up on that and dont want to be my friend as they can "sense" there is something not quite "right" with me.. oh well, at least i can be myself on here!
Hope everyone else has had a good easter so far..
Katie xxx

[Guest]

Newbies Nest

I made it through our 4 day weekend. My relapses always happen when my husband starts his heavy drinking weekends. Being a musician he is gone for 4 nights a week. By my own choice I've stayed home for 3 years. (Long story involving other women.)

Counting today I am 10 days AF. Has been extra difficult because of marriage problems.

I feel some pride in the fact I've stuck with my plan though. I've not participated in arguments. I am not in the pits of hell over guilt from my actions or words while blacked out drunk!!! This is good. I am overeating, but I am giving myself forgiveness for the 10 days.

After the nice Easter dinner I have planned for us two tomorrow I will work on that.

Hope everyone has a nice day, whatever your plans are!

[beanzy]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all. I'd say happy Easter, but I don't know where I am spiritually. My background is Christian where I was very devout, but my alcoholism really did damage to my integrity there and my connection to God.
Anyhow, I m glad to be starting out a new day not hungover and having stayed 4 days sober. Day 5 today.
I am either going to a church service this morning, or to an AA meeting. I am not sure if the meeting is still happening with the holiday though.
Lots of family coming here to my parents later, then I travel back to my world 2 hours away. Yesterday I managed to make some phone calls when I was feeling low and the feelings passed. I want that pattern to continue. I also want to expand my friend and phone base. Thats hard. Meeting new people, trust, the whole thing.
Anyhow, a day of sobriety, here I come.
Oh, also I was talking with my old sponsor yesterday (one of the people I called) and he said that until I start depending on a higher power things will be tough. We have plans for the steps in the coming weeks. That connection is hard for me considering my background. I just feel vaguely floating along by myself. There are tiny amounts of the day when I feel a connection, but mostly not.

I know this is way to heavy thinking for me on day 5 and I should just keep in simple and go easy on myself and forget that this is my millianth swipe into sobriety and AA, blah, blh, blah.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Easter Sunday morning to those who celebrate!
I am going to get ready now for church with my girls so I won't address everyone individually.
Wishing everyone a peaceful day!
I plan another AF day for myself so I will wake up tomorrow morning as happy as I am right now

Have a wonderful day!
Lav

[Guest]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

Dinner went well tonight. There were 3 couples and 5 chldren - 4 girls and my son. He was a little worried but they had a great time. The girls like having him around as they get to run around playing silly games and get to forget about being girly. They played Charlie's Angels (even though the girls hadn't seen the films) and my son was Boswell!

Lots of "Do we have to" when we said it was time to go home.

Usually, there is another family there and they are the ones I drink with. It was easy today as one lady does not drink at all and the other had one glass of wine before moving onto water. The boys had a few beers but nothing excessive or silly. The conversation was funny and entertaining without being over the top. One of the guys is a good story teller and has us in fits of laughter! This guy has the most serious, high pressure job I know of so it's great to see that he doesn't need a bucket load of AL to have a good time.

Have been home a couple of hours - just playing on the internet.

Not sure what we're upto tomorrow.

Hope everyone's had a good day.

Spam xx

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning All and Happy Easter!! It's gorgeous here in New England once again. I've got tons of things to do before going to dinner so this will be quick.
I've been reading everyone's post today and almost feel like crying.

Katie B you were doing so well being AF and then the lonliness hit you from behind. I can so identify with you on that. I live in a big city too and because I work so much and then have 5 animals to take care of, there is only one person I can really call my friend and depend on and I hope she can depend on me. She has tons of problems (none of which are AL related) but all in all she is a good egg (sorry). I have lots of people who I hang out with at playdates a few times a year and they always seem happy to see me but I don't consider them close friends. They are papillon friends. I think I've been shopping so much because I can't bear to be home for 4 or 5 hours at nite alone. I too have tons of things to do but the lonliness would win out and I know I would run to the packy for a bottle. I have to be careful tho or the shopping will replace the wine.

I feel so sad when I read that the beast has won for another day or night over anyone's good work. I know I am 1/2 mile and one drink from it overtaking me. I'm sending out mega pings and strength vibes that this will be the start of a whole new week for all of us and that somehow we find new ways of dealing with whatever causes us to say "screw it" and open that bottle.

RW-I was only going to have one GLASS not a whole bottle at dinner today LOL!! But it really doesn't matter does it? If I have one glass, I'll want another and I won't be able to stop on the way home and then I'll feel antsy and on edge the rest of the nite because all I'll be thinking of is god, I want another glass of wine!! So, none for me today thanks. I might have a Shirley Temple instead LOL!!

Tranq-I missed the post about your date. Sounds like it went well. Here's hoping there's a second one.

Beanzy-hang in there. You're doing a lot of introspection which is really good right? Keep letting us know how you're doing and keep making those phone calls. It sounds like they are your life line and it's wonderful you have them.
OK, now I really must get cracking. Hang tight everyone and may strength and clarity be yours. Well that sounded pretty sappy but for some reason appropriate for today.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters......a quick post for right now. I will be back on later. I received a wind up chicken that lays bubble gum eggs in my Easter basket. :H So, I'm a happy bunny!!!!!

I'll be back later. Sonny is getting ready for work and I want to spend a few more minutes with him........

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

KatieB, you may have a point about people recognising something wrong inside - and I was applying this to myself, not you. Like you and Papmom, I have only a couple of people I'd call friends, the rest are acquaintances. I generally get on well with new people when I meet them, although I can be a little shy at first, but never end up being friends with any of them. One person told me I seem so self-sufficient. Ha! :H
But it may be that subconsciously we hold people at arm's length, in case what...? They don't like us? They find out our dark secrets and can't handle it? To appear in control? Not sure. It's not conscious.
Anyway, it's not raining here today, so I'm off to an Easter A & P show with the kids. Do you have those in the States and UK? It's mostly agricultural stuff, but has become much bigger than the days when there were prizes for the best calf etc. There's entertainment, food and all kinds of new inventions etc that haven't been released.
If you're home alone today, keep warm in the nest.

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

thankyou dancingon and papmom,

dancingon - i think you are right about my "keeping people at arms length" - i think i do do that on purpose, as i am afraid of people not liking me.. i self-isolate as i dont want to "intrude" on other people.. i did that with my mother's group - now i am not in touch with any of them..
I drunk 3/4 of a bottle of wine last night - i poured the rest down the sink this morning.. but i also drunk a whole bottle the night before.. not good.. but not totally overboard either..
I'm back here again with the determination to not drink.. i have to make some more plans of how i am going to avoid drinking at the weekends when i dont have my son! its not good for me.. it just makes me depressed and tired.. i am working today but feel really tired from drinking that wine,
sounds like everyone else is having a good weekend so far.. and yes dancing on, you have probably heard of the Easter Show in Sydney which involves agricultural shows! i've made no plans to go this year yet.. so not sure if i will or not..
take care all,
Katie xxx

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hope everyone had a wonderful day today.
My dinner out with family was very nice although my salmon could have been cooked more and differently. Why anyone would want to smother a nice piece of salmon with cream and bread crumbs I'll never know!! The place we went to is also a working farm so it was fun looking at the cows and geese with my little nephew after dinner.
Here's how it went down with the AL this afternoon. I did end up having 2 glasses of wine throughout the 2 hours we were there. I nursed the 1st glass through 2.5 courses and had 3 glasses of water and lots of food with it. I'm not even sure why I had the second glass-habit I guess but I really didn't like it. the first glass tasted familiar and very nice; the second like alcohol. I never got buzzed which I am very happy about and contrary to my earlier fears didn't and don't feel on edge and wishing I had more. I absolutely don't!! I know now that when I do go out to dinner (which is few and very far between) I can have and enjoy one glass of wine without feeling like I need more beyond that. However, at home or at dinner with family I can't have any as it's too easy to keep opening the new bottles plus I have pledged never to drink and drive again(I carpooled with my sister's family today). Now I am really just tired and thirsty (loading up on the water before it gets to close to bedtime) and happy that I won't have wine head tomorrow. I guess I'll have to change my siggy now as I blew the one month anniversary for being AF but since it's been almost a week since I've used the drink tracker maybe it's not all that important to count anymore. Anyway, I think I have learned important stuff tonite and I am happy and still confident with my decision to stay sober for the rest of my life.
Nite all!!