Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nest-check!

Greetings to one & all.
Wishing fennel a happy vacation & everyone a happy & safe weekend!
Dust off those plans everyone & set yourselves up for success. Get out & enjoy the beautiful Spring weather, stay the hell out of the wine store, do something for yourself or for someone else, take a walk, work in your garden - do anything but drink!!!!

I'm dealing with some personal hell myself right now but I am NOT going to drink - it won't make anything better, right?

Be safe!
Lav

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Bravo Lav....thinking of you

[Doggygirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!! I'm zoom zoomin' today but caught a couple of recent posts - one that made me very happy - Lav that was yours about being in a better mood! And the other was Fennel's about "fussy" laundry. LOL I wore a top today that I bought on sale a couple months ago. I didn't notice it was "dry flat, and warm iron if needed." "If NEEDED???" Holy moly it's going to take an hour to iron that thing!!! Note to self - when shopping, please remember to read laundering tages! :H

Runningwind, congrats on 3 days! And congrats to each and every nester on your AF time. If you stick to your guns and keep racking up the AF days and don't give in, it WILL get easier!!! Pay your dues once and life will get better.

Runningwind, here is a copy of the "Marshmallow" post you asked about:


I read this on a fitness board. I thought immediately about the suggestion that was made to me a long time ago about writing down a list of things to do when urges struck. I did that and it sure helped me, and now I pass that suggestion on to newcomers here.

I think the outcome of this test is very relevant. For me in the early days of my sobriety, AL was like the marshmellow. See what you think.


The Marshmallow Test

In the early 1970s, a psychologist named Walter Mischel conducted an experiment involving four-year-olds. He placed each child in a room, where they sat down at a table. In front of them, a marshmallow. Mischel then made each child an offer. He could eat the marshmallow right away or wait for a few more minutes and receive another one. Almost everyone decided to wait. Mischel then left the room for twenty minutes.

While a few of the four-year-olds were able to resist the temptation for up to fifteen minutes, many lasted less than one minute. Others just ate the marshmallow as soon as Mischel left the room.

This was a test of self-control. If the child wanted to achieve the goal of receiving another marshmallow, then he needed to temporarily ignore his feelings and delay gratification for a few more minutes. What this study showed was that some children at the early age of four were much better at this than others.

What I found interesting are the strategies the successful children employed in order to endure the experiment. They kept themselves distracted. Covered their eyes, played with their hands or just entered a trance-like state where it seemed they were lost in their thoughts. Their attention was elsewhere.

The failed strategy of the unsuccessful children was the complete opposite of that; in essence, they fixated on the marshmallow almost as if attempting to stare it down, actively fighting the temptation.

The solution then is to stay distracted.

[runningwind]

Newbies Nest

Thank-you so much Doggygirl....BUMP!!!

[sick of being sick]

Newbies Nest

Hello, everyone! I am new to the newbies nest, but I see alot of my friends here. I am going on 3 months sober with a few slip-ups, but hanging in there. I have no desire at all to drink, but husband drinks every night and is hard to be around, but I'm not responsible for him, only myself! Doggygirl, I loved the marshmallow test! Fennel, have a great vacation! Running, you CAN DO THIS! I know you and I know you WANT to quit drinking, just stay strong. It will get easier! Lav, I have heard so many sweet things about you and we haven't really met, but I know you are a big inspiration to alot of people. So sorry you are going through some hell and I am praying for you! I look forward to getting to know all of you. Thank so many of you for the invite to this group. Have a great night and weekend everyone! Love, Vicki

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everybody, haven't been around much lately, combination of builders, kitchens, cranky husband, and just generally grumpy. Thanks for asking after me, Nemed, runningW, Mazzie, its really nice when folk sort of remember you. My washing machine is now furiously dancing around in a new built in sort of cupboard and it would waken the dead - actually, I'm now gettin really nervous so must go and check it out, be back later.
Talk later
Molly

[runningwind]

Newbies Nest

Oh! my ghosh... Doggygirl... Thank-you for all that Wisdom!

[KatieB]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,

Doggygirl - what a fantastic post! I love anything to do with psychology - and these kinds of tests.. it is sure to stick in my mind forever, just like the baby with the lipstick on its nose! (a baby is shown to recognise itself when it points to its nose when in front of a mirror, rather than reaching towards the mirror..).. thank you so much! I am sure to keep that in mind in future, when trying to give up cigarettes too..
Had a nice evening last night, went to bed early.. have plans to go shopping today after my ex picks up my son.. to buy my son's birthday presents, his birthday is now less than 2 weeks away..
Hi to Sobs (good to see you in the nest!), Lav, mollyka (good to see you back), Runningwind, Meech, Spam, MamaB, Fennel, Sunni and to everyone else that pops in.. here's to a fab AF weekend!
Katie xxxxx

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

welcome back molly..been missing you..where's your lovely face???? i want it back....wah wah wah

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Hey Vickie and welcome to the Nest! A little whacky at times, but always safe

Thank you for the marshmallow test, DG.. I was actually thinking of it when someone mentioned earlier they were staring at the wine glass in hubby's hand, the fridge, etc... Let the toddlers show us the way!

I'm grumpy today. Not sure why. Because I talked myself out of buying a bottle of wine for the weekend? And, who am I kidding... that bottle wouldn't have seen the sun set. Maybe it's just the hormonal thing.. that's on the horizon as well. Either way.. I'm a bit of a grouch today.

Katie, you sound so much better! :l Enjoy your weekend 'off' and do lots of things for YOU!

Running.. I had that too, very strange... the counting seemed to actually set me off to drink. Weird, huh?

Lav, luv - so good to hear from you :l No, you will NOT drink.. or else! :bat:

Mollyka, here.. I'll scootch over - plenty of room on the grumpy twig.

Ok, I'm going to attempt to clean this disaster of a house now. That HAS BEEN on my list all week, actually. See.. stuff that doesn't get done gets me grumpy, too! Hrmpfh.

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Looks like I'm joining the grumpy club. I've felt rotten emotionally and physically all day. Slept like crap last nite despite the Ambien CR and Mirapex. It's about the only morning that I couldn't say "well, at least I'm not hungover too" because even tho I wasn't, I sure felt like I was. I'm really getting sick of these bad and blue moods and the sugar/carb cravings. I'm working towards gaining back those 7 lbs I lost the first month. Where is the euphoria I had when I first went AF? I swear I was in a better mood most of the time when I was drinking even tho physically I felt like hell most days. I briefly thought of picking up a bottle on the way home tonite but remembered the awful nite I had Tuesday nite after downing a bottle-I've decided that I may actually be allergic to AL what with all the symptoms I had so i don't want to repeat that at all.
OK, enought of the pity party.
Fennel-i hope you and the mrs. have a great holiday. we will miss you!!
MB-I really hope you get that job if that is what you want. sounds like a great interview.
Molly-great to see you again. Hope you household gets back to normal real soon.
Lav-great to hear from you too and lot of pings and prayers coming your way
Katie-glad you had a nice dinner last nite. Hope he really has turned a corner.
RW-hang in there-we can do this!!
DG-thanks so much for that marshmellow test-that was awesome
Tranq-you sound great-hope your work slows down a bit tho
K9-congrats on your 4th AF weekend. that's a great milestone and something to build on.
SOS-glad you are here. Stick with us here in the nest.
I hope I haven't missed anyone but if I did, it wasn't on purpose. I wish everyone luck on their AF journey and hope you all have a great weekend.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hi all.....
DG - Loved the marshmallow Test.

Hello to everyone else. I am moving over next to Sunni. I don't know why I am so grumpy. And to be quite honest. I deliberately didn't take my 2nd dose of Topa today. Setting myself up for failure again. Grr - what is wrong with my brain lately?!?!!? Spuds - can you say IDIOT again?
I honestly do so much better.......feel so much better......am so much happier. So, why do I do this? Do I enjoy this internal struggle/debate? Ok - sorry nest. I'm just angry with myself for trying to set myself up again. It does get old. Thanks for listening to me again.
Scootch over Sunni - I'm putting on my butt velcro.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

I sure hope I didn't set the tone for grumpy moods this week :upset:
Maybe it's just a lunar/hormonal thing!!!!

Fasten those nest belts, reapply the butt velcro - we all need a firm grip :H

Lav

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

:damn: *scootching*
:moon: *somebody get me some velcro* :H

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Wow!

So much going on that I have no way on earth in remembering it all! Didn't think it was that long since I was last in the Nest!
Anyhow, everyone sounds good and the nest busy!

I am ok, just plodding and a wee bit blah cause of that time of the month..urgh!

ANZAC DAY tomorrow, so I am taking the wee chicks to the park with their Nanna & Aunty! Mr.Chook is marching in the parade as he is ex-service and will be out all day from about 5am..to..whenever! He will come home very merry and I will not be drinking at all, so he will be the one with the hangover Monday, not me .

Unfortuantely my dear Mum slipped over in the shops yesterday (on someone's spilt juice) and has damaged her leg.....don't think it's broken though thank goodness! But as she is 75 years old, got to be careful with any injury. Last time she did something she had actually fractured her patella (her knee-transversly) which is quite a rare thing to do. She managed to recover from that one fully, but at that age these things can often be the start of a down-hill decline, so I am going to be watching her very closely.

We will be taking her to the foreshore tomorrow for a picnic & to watch the parade, so have borrowed a walking frame !

Am feeling headachey and just...grumpy,so shall leave it there for now and maybe go read a book or something to take mind of self!

Stay strong folks!
Chook