Newbies Nest

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi Willow and welcome.

Glad to have you join us. We are all here cause we have the same problem - we want to stop drinking. and this is the place to be. Doesnt matter if it is your third or fourth or a hundredth time stopping - at least you keep trying. I am back after seven months sober last year then a six month relapse. But I knew where I needed to be - right here! I am so glad to be back and soon you will feel glad you have found us.

Sounds like everyone else is doing well. Just had an emergency fish hunt as my pond has a leak in it and I just cant find where. I thought I had fixed it today after emptying it and patching what I thought was the hole, but when I went out to check it half an hour ago, it was nearly empty again! So rather than worry all night that the fish may be dying, I caught them and put them in a bucket. I will deal with the pond tomorrow or Saturday. I dont need the stress right now!

So rather than enjoying a half hour on MWO, I had to play great white hunter... gggrr.
Will be back in the morning. Take care and stay strong.
Remember -you are only powerless over alcohol if you drink it!
Hippy

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Wise wise words Byrdie, very wise indeed!

Willow, your love affair with wine will start to fade once you have a few AF days under your belt. Try it! It will take about a week and you will start to see the rewards of being AF. Warning. . .it normally takes about a week so please don't get put off and give up. One day at a time will get you there!

[willow20]

Newbies Nest

so good to have a reply. i am here im posting when i get scared today. i kind of feel like finding an aa meeting too. drinking milk thistle tea. advil, gym steam room, might as well use my membership.

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone!!!!

Welcome Willow, the more I post here and check back in the nest, the more I am loving the support and interaction.

Byrd, I definitely heard me in parts that you were relating about yourself.

I am watching Rain IN My Heart on you tube right now. Not the best idea before bed. However, I am upset with myself for how far I let myself go with alcohol. With hiding alcohol. With just not realizing my problem sooner. With not realizing I had lost not just the plot, but the story book. WOW!
e fine
So, I am feeling grateful for the fact that I am still kind of young? Well I feel young anyways (30.) So maybe I have not done a heap of damage, fingers crossed. (Eventually I will get my liver checked.) Also, I am feeling like it is more of a blessing that my husband is/was so upset with my for my self harm, he doesn't want to lose me. Tonight we actually managed to sit down and have dinner and talk. He says being 5 days AF is a big deal, which I said every day is. I know I can go weeks and it will be not a huge deal. It's after 2 weeks goes by. It's feeling I owe my self a reward. Although I'm starting to see alcohol as death not a reward. Sorry, I am going ON and ON.:happy:

So tonight makes it 5 days and counting AF. At first I thought 30days would be a HUGE challenge. After spending every day on this site, I feel such hope and renewal. I feel every day, week, month, year AF, will be a reward!
Keep On Keepin On! Thanks for listening to me blab.

Lav, my parents CAN"T WAIT to be grandparents!:yougo:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hippy, when our pond had a leak, the guy at the store suggested putting food coloring in the water, then pull up the liner and you can tell where it leaked out. Worked for us...good luck!!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Willow - we are twins!
I have been wanting to do this for 10plus years - I love wine, the taste, everything. I wish i could dring a glass a night - but when i start I can't stop! its a bottle, and then more - and sneaking it when i can. I feel lovely, tehn wake up and am sad ashamed. I havetwo girls - 10yr old and 12 yr old, and so want to be alive for them. I work with transplant patients - so know exactly what i am doing and the consequenses - and how few alcoholics get transplants - so i have no idea why i carry on drinking! I dream, cry and panic about dying of liver failure.
My husband and I just separated so even more reason to be healthy for my girls.
today is day 3 - I can do this, so can you! and along with everyone here, we can all do this together!
I will be here frequently this weekend - girls will be with their dad, and wine would be my normal company....yes Byrdie - similar stories all around! I thought I was alone, and am so finding this wrong - there are so many of us struggling....
scottish lass

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nest

Just checking in before bed I'm so so tired and god do I crave chocolate right now, I can usually take it or leave it (Wish I could do the same with AL) but this week... well if I could have it through a IV I'd be happy.

My closest friend is away for a few days so I'm going to miss him like mad, he's one of the people keeping me focussed right now...

Anyway congrats to Lav another little one for your nest:l and welcome to all the newbies, I sense a lot of positivity going on, just concentrate on your goals and take it day by day, minute by minute

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!

Willow - :welcome: So glad to have you join us. I thought I loved wine too - the "sophistication" of having a glass in my hand, somehow feeling like I was just so cool, until it got out of hand and I too was buying boxes instead of bottles because they were cheaper, easier to hide/dispose of, and there was more to drink! I knew for a long time that I had a problem but would constantly play out this angel/devil routine in my head. "Yes - you know you drink too much and you may have a problem", "No, you drink just about like everyone else - you don't drink before 5:00 thru the week and never before noon on the weekend - you fool your husband and children so it can't be that bad - you are fine - no drinking problem". WRONG. Way too much of my time was consumed with thoughts of drinking - was I going to run out? make no plans that involve driving after the drinking hour begins, no social plans if they were going to take me away from my nightly ritual. I think I finally just got tired of the vicious circle filled with drinking, waking up felling like crap with horrible guilt and self-loathing, working thru it during the day promising myself I wasn't going to do it that day, then coming home and starting all over again.

Can't tell you how many stories I have heard here that are exactly like mine.

Byrdy - I was just looking for the buzz as well - just couldn't get enough. I never had my liver tested - at least not that I know of - take medicine for high blood pressure and have bloodwork done about every 6 months. If it were to show up in that than I count myself extremely lucky that my doctor must not have seen anything alarming.

Willow - keep coming back here when you are scared/lonley/craving alcohol - there is sure to be someone here to help.

Same goes for you Scottish Lass - I know my downfall was being home alone where temptation was just too great. Can you guys get all of the AL out of your house? I found that to be the one of the best things I ever did.

Hippy - sorry but I did chuckle a little as I was trying to picture you "hunting fish" with your bucket! Hope you get the leak fixed soon and all your fishies survive the excitement!

Sunshine - I have never watched the rain in my heart documentary - I still have dial up so it's close to impossible here but from what I've heard from other members, it is mind blowing.

Jenny - wise words - I know that first week or two was definitely the hardest for me.

Lav - get your umbrella out! Bet you don't even care - huh? Does your new little grandson live close by? You must feel so blessed with the new additions to your family the past couple months. Sounds like you've come to terms with your husband and his disappearing act from your life but you know what? HIS LOSS! You are a beautiful person and you never know what may happen or who may be waiting around the corner! You deserve that special person in your life and then maybe YB will realize just what he's lost!

Vintage Girl - I am missing your kind words around here - hope all is well.

Hope everyone has a great sober Thursday (or whatever day it may be for you right now)

Off to do some chores.:yuk:

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Jolie;1093651 wrote:
I thought I loved wine too - the "sophistication" of having a glass in my hand, somehow feeling like I was just so cool, until it got out of hand and I too was buying boxes instead of bottles because they were cheaper, easier to hide/dispose of, and there was more to drink! I knew for a long time that I had a problem but would constantly play out this angel/devil routine in my head. "Yes - you know you drink too much and you may have a problem", "No, you drink just about like everyone else - you don't drink before 5:00 thru the week and never before noon on the weekend - you fool your husband and children so it can't be that bad - you are fine - no drinking problem". WRONG. Way too much of my time was consumed with thoughts of drinking - was I going to run out? make no plans that involve driving after the drinking hour begins, no social plans if they were going to take me away from my nightly ritual. I think I finally just got tired of the vicious circle filled with drinking, waking up felling like crap with horrible guilt and self-loathing, working thru it during the day promising myself I wasn't going to do it that day, then coming home and starting all over again.

How true this is, I guess we've all been here, those thoughts are exactly what I'm using now when I want to drink...The being scared of running out was the worst, I never ran out as I made sure there was more than enough for me to drink before passing out, the the cyclw would start again before I even got up worrying about how long what I hadn't drank would last for, would there be enough to get me through to a reasonable time to buy more supplies?

Tomorrow is recyling day, I carried the bin out one handed tonight it was so light and not an alcohol bottle in sight... before I wouldn't put the bottle recycling out every week, that way I could convince myself that it was more than a couple of weeks worth of empties in there, it was easy enought to forget the ones I'd disposed of seperately throughout the week....

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hey Jolie - add this to your picture.... as it was 9.30pm and i was ready to go to bed, i was in my old white dressing gown (no, I didnt have curlers in my hair!!) and I was holding a torch trying to see the little buggers and scooping them out with a flour sieve. My neighbours already think I am mad so I hope no-one was around as this may confirm it!!:H

End of another sober week. So pleased with myself as three weeks ago didnt think I had any chance. Love light bulb moments....

Have a great day. Sunshine, Scottishlass and Willow -stay close to us if you need to. To everyone else, stay strong and we will get thru another weekend sober.

Hipster

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Leave,

It's comforting to know that we've all felt this way at one time or another.

Glad to see you are doing so well!

:l

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nest!

Hippie, you sound so great. Really, you sound so much happier than you did just a couple weeks ago! What a difference no AL can make.

I guess I'm finishing up my first week in April AF! I feel good and strong and plan to make it a full month this time.

Hope everyone has a great AF night in the Nest!!

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Hippy,

I am seriously laughing out loud right now. I am so happy for you - you are doing awesome!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

The only bottles I'm handling these days are baby bottles :H:H
I am so grateful to be rid of the wine crutch

Hello & welcome to Willow! Make yourself comfy in the Nest & stay as long as you like. We have Nest belts if needed for added security

Jolie, my kids both live nearby & I am also grateful for that. I would be seriously upset right now if they lived across the country I enjoy their company, we all get along well. YB sure is the odd man out - his pathetic choice!

When I found MWO a little over 2 years ago I had no idea that I would be sitting here tonight happy, sober & most of all really proud of myself. The effort is worth it folks - there are all kinds of wonderful things to enjoy without AL!

You can do it too!!!!
Wishing everyone a great AF night!
Lav

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys just checking in. I'm pushing the thoughts away tonight. I may have to get out the big stick to beat them off tomorrow!

Have a great AF night!