Newbies Nest

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

That's a great word for it Allswell, demoralizing. Anyway, let's try again and hopefully this time it will work!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

mylife and allswell - I know I have been there, and I think that I possibly will be again - as long as we don't let the bumps derail us and we get back on the horse again, we are so many steps closer to beating this. For me it took me years to get to this place, so I don't see getting out of it will happen too quickly. After slips everyone here just told me to forget the past and to look to the future. Review old posts you have amde and realise the huge steps forward you have made - 43 days is great!
Don't beat yourselves up, or dwell on the guilt - use these experiences to make yourselves stronger and you will win.
I go home to the UK in July and know I will drink - so I have decided to accept that - I am tryint to get a 30 day AF run before going. It will be hard to visit MWO - little to no internet at my parents house, so my biggest crutch will be gone. I feel if my plan/goal is to moderate, I have a chance to be successful, and hopefully that will work. I am developing my modding plan, and hope to stick to it - it will be a big trial as it is my parents Golden Anni and their lives are around AL.
If it works, I will be very happy - if it doesn't I will be looking to a count down (up) starting August 1st!
you guys are great - come back and start racking the days up - start to feel good and proud, not those other negative words!!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters.

Thought I had better show my face and tell you that I havent forgotten you all. Still around and sober. I find if I dont come onto MWO I dont even think about al so maybe not being here is a good thing ??!!

Been working hard on my anxiety and agrophobia. Think it is aleviating a little bit. Been able to do things that I havent before which is good. Realised that because I started using AL at 14 just to be able to be in other peoples presence that I never really learnt how to socialise sober. I honestly think that the bullying I got in high school has alot to do with how I turned out. Sad to think that something that happened over 30 years ago can still impact on my life now. But now I am becoming aware of why I drank, I can deal with it. That is my goal.

Havent been able to read all the posts since I last popped in so hope everyone is doing well and for those who are struggling - keep visiting us, dont give up, you are not alone.

Stay strong.
Hippy

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Hey ML, long time no see. Get back up here on the wagon, all of us understand where you are, been there myself a time or two as you well know. Nice to see everyone!

Nat, glad I could help, it really makes me feel good to give back after all the help I have received. Tomorrow is thirty! I hope to never have to go back to day one. . .

[Natilie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!! A quick check in!! I made it through the weekend! Yay!
Going into day 8 now. Could not have done without all of you. :thanks: !!!
Stayed really busy and kept eating healthy stuff. A productive weekend. I have been living in a fog for a long time. So great to find "my way out" of the fog.
I have been learning so much from everyone. It is so refreshing to read your posts because they are so real and so supportive.
Hello to mylife and allswell!! My day one was last Monday. Please keep us all posted on how you are doing. We are all here for ya. And my first week sober, I was helped so much by the nesters.
Very late and need sleep. Later friends....
:h. Natilie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Allswell and Mylife, good to see you jumping right back in to join us. Natilie good going girl! As long as we are still here, we are moving forward - a lesson to be learned from every 'slip' whether it be our own or someone elses. To see that one can go back to drinking after so many days AF is a warning to us all! We must be vigilant at all times.....
Had a really tough weekend - felt like Chardonnay was screaming my name! Dont know how but got through it and on 28 days today!
I was shocked at the strength of the'craving'! Left me feeling very alone, different, not part of the crowd. Of course, today with my sensible head on, I know thats not true and I am heading towards a 'better life' but thats not how it felt at the time......a stark warning to me to 'up' my game!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday Nesters!

Congrats on making it through the weekend Nats...8 days is grreeeaaat! I'm on day 12 and still marching on strong. Glad I am of some inspiration to you...we are in the same ballpark for number of days so let's help each other out and keep adding 'em up girlfriend!

Hi MyLife! How are you? Good to see you back on the threads. I was wondering how you were. I was on here quite a bit back in Jan/Feb/March but then fell off the wagon unfortunately. I am back too...and just like you, I was sober for a good stretch earlier this year, then went on vacation thinking I could just have a few drinks while there and then ended up back in my old drinking every day pattern which just sucks. Humbly, I trudged back to day one again on June 2nd, with the help of of those here on MWO, and haven't looked back ever since. Just move forward, one day at a time and those days will add up again quickly! Best of luck my friend! We're all in this together.

Same to Allswell. Hope you are doing well! Your description of the pattern is right on...get sober, think about modding then try to and fall back into the trap. Even now, after 12 days, I am thinking, "oh, after my 30 day promise maybe I'll have some drinks over 4th of July weekend and then just mod from there". Why am I doing this to myself? I am feeling really great this morning...why would I want to add AL to the mix? I really hope to be strong and not succumb to the mod trap as some of us just can't do it.

Hi to Barbara...how was the rafting trip? Do fill us in, it must have been so peaceful and beautiful out there!

Hi Daisy! You are so right...everyone learns from a "slip". We just need to keep that in the forefront of our thoughts when weighing in on the decision to drink or not. Is it really worth it? NO!

Scottish/Lav/Jenny/Witchy et all, I hope you are enjoying your start of the week. Gloomy weather prevails here in the North East BUT sunny attitude inside this vivacious Blonde!

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone!

And I do mean GOOD. I made it through last night unscathed. However the kayak trip has been rescheduled to tonight, so I have to do it all over again. I didn't drink last night at my party you can check out the whole story on the post at: 30 days, no wine, no junk, lots of exercise? .
I don't have time to write it all out again.
So, I'm checking in at day 23 AF! The only reason I am staying strong is because of all of you here at MWO and that is sincere. Reading about each of our struggles helps me understand that I have to be in charge, but I have a wonderful support system here, and I don't intend to take that for granted even for one day. Thank you, and here goes round #2........tonight!

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

23 Days! That amazes me. Good for you! I'm on 2, and working toward 7.

I was pretty depressed this a.m., but went outside and worked in the yard, came in and ate, and felt better. I hope to be on a more healthy eating plan soon. Need to lose some weight. Right now I'm focused on not drinking.

When I was outside (and it's a glorious day), I was thinking about this site, and how wonderful it is. I kept saying to myself, "I have friends, I have friends!" I have friends in my other life, but everyone's busy and overwhelmed, so we don't see each other much. This is my new niche. I look forward to getting to know, and care, about all of you.

My best to everyone.

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

Hi Juja,

I know what you mean about "having friends in my other life". I do as well, but it seems these days that the friends here are the ones helping me the most. It's strange that you can know someone for a quarter of a century and they really don't know you. Then come to a place like MWO and be accepted and understood immediately.
I know it's my fault for hiding this from my friends who I have known for so long. My problem is that I don't want them to know this about me, I would feel like I let them down. I would feel so ashamed to share that part of me with anyone. I'm trying to fix this within me so that I can some day be honest with everyone, and have them accept me flaws and all. Or maybe I'm lying to myself and this will never be possible.
I would love get married again. I would have to find someone who would support my AF efforts and I can't see that happening any time soon. So, I will just stay here until I figure out where I belong in this world. For now, it's here and that is just fine with me!
Good job on day 2 by the way. I was very different on my day 2. I poured every ounce of AL down the drain not knowing what the hell I was even doing. Through the help of everyone here I am now a lot further down the road, and you will be too. Just hang on here and we will help you, as you have helped many here with your honest posts. Good Job!

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

Day one for me, AGAIN, was AF briefly and drinking not so briefly thereafter....my significant other is not happy as I was a bear this weekend and could not get happy no matter how many beers I slammed; and when I am drinking and not happy well then I don't want anyone to be happy----drunken a hole all the way--- soooooo, once again I have to restart being honest with myself and try to get through this day without beers....will be fine until happy hour and then I will be unhappy, but better sober and unhappy than the same while tanked.....thanks for the posts, helps allot....

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there clockwatcher. The beer doesn't make you happy, just stops you caring.

Yesterday, we had another big aftershock here in Canterbury, NZ. Very scary stuff. I had to hang onto the computer console which was trying to walk off the desk, but all we had is a crack in the ceiling. Christchurch is back to square one in some places.
The good news is that the sun is set to shine for the next 5 days.

Apart from that, I'm feeling good and trying to keep up the exercise as the weather gets colder - so tempting to drop it. But that witching hour still has some hold if I've lit the fire, got dinner on and sit down to relax for a while. Where's the glass of wine that should be in my hand at 5pm? Grr. Better to grab the dog and go for a walk.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!

Haven't been here since Saturday evening - a big storm knocked out my internet access.

Welcome Juja & Clockwatcher! fasten your Nest belts ~ sometimes the ride gets bumpy but we're here to help

And hello to the Re-Newbies MyLife & Allswell! Glad you decided to come back to the nest for a while

dancingon - glad you are OK! Mother Nature has been getting all of us lately in one way or another. Cinch up your Nest belt too for safety

Congrats to those who enjoyed an AF weekend!
I had a quick AL thought myself yesterday borne entirely out of frustration. It left as quickly as it arrived though. We are OK if we continue to remember that these thoughts are just thought & we don;t have to act on them

Wishing everyone a good evening!
Lav

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest,

Day 2 and no thoughts of AL. So that's a good thing, luckily the cravings haven't really hit yet -- for me that's about day 7 - 20 but at least I'm getting to know that pattern (sigh)!

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. All the wonderful words really form a solid base that I feel I can stand on and succeed. I hope I can do the same for you!

Blonde - great to see you back on the threads - we can do this! Daisy, Natalie, Juja, Alls, Clock, Lav, Dancing and anyone I missed - great to hear from you all! Have a wonderful AF night.

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

Good Luck to you in NZ, hope all are safe,,,,thanks to all for encouragement, made it through tonight with zero booze, even with championship hockey on