Newbies Nest

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Day 3 for me and starting to feel much better. LIS I'm lookin forward to this weekend, and Monday morning, knowing I'll of got through it without the dreaded Monday morning self inflicted blues. Hope everyone's doin o.k. and hope your heads clearer Witchy, just so cold here at the mo. eh?
Have a nice lunch Lav, that's what I need - some AF buddies!
XXXX

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

heya guys, well guess whos' in trouble? seems I only come here when I'm makigna mess of thigns. I'm in a pretty bad palce with my drinking at the moment, I'm basically drunk and/or stoned from 6pm almost every day again, I always drink, I always smoke, I have given up the will to stop and have started thinking of ways to drink more and more without people noticing. I drink in the morning I guess a couple of times a week now, never if I have work. Don't really know what to do with myself, I know how to go AF but it seems so damn pointless when I just relapse every damn time, I can't make sense of myself anymore

xIC

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Inchains - you said you have given up the will to stop. I think deep down you havent. You came here! And that says to me that you do want to give up. Have you read the book? Got (and listen to ) the CD's? Do you take the supps? It s completely up to you to do the work. I know it is not easy. I tried to stop hundreds of times during my drinking career. Have you got a doctor that you feel comfortable talking with? Maybe he/she can refer you to a counsellor/psychologst. Have you tried AA? Start by beng completely honest with yourself. Do you really want to give up? Is it only because it is hard that you feel you cant? Do you think you have to give up for your partner?

I found that researching what AL actually does to my body a really big incentive to stop. When I found out that the headache I got the next day was because my brain was dehydrated and actually shrinking away from the skull, that was a pretty graphic vision I kept thinking about everytime I had a headache from booze. Dont give up Inchy, you are worth it. xxxx

Thanks for all the congrats on my 100 days.

Off to the stables.

Hip

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

InChains, I was plastered after 6 every night myself, in fact, I was starting around 3:30 on weekdays (I work from home) and started around, well exactly at 10:30am on weekends. I drank thinking I could handle it, and no one noticed. I know where you are...you are me on that bathroom floor praying to get out of this prison. Why not drink, nobody cares...I don't care. I want you to ask yourself a question, and strip away all the bullshit, you are talking to YOU...Why are you here?
I am here because I had no where else to go. I was out of options short of coming out and exposing myself for what I am. Coming out to my business associates and family...I can't imagine a worse fate. Only, I WAS out...everyone knew....they made the comments. The only thing I didn't make public was my recovery. And it's no one else's business but mine.
Why are you here? Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all!

IC, I have to agree with Hippy - you still come here so somewhere, deep down inside you do want to quit drinking. What about your plans for school? You need a clear head to succeed there. What's happened to your fiance? Is he still around? Is your relationship with him causing you all this confusion? You really do need to be completely honest with yourself. Ask yourself the hard questions so you can make a plan. I wish you the best ~ you are way too young to be giving up on yourself & your future.

Hippy, I am very happy for you! Not only have you achieved 100 AF days you've also grown a lot as a person Keep up the great work!

Noodle, good for you on day 3 - it's always a turning point I think!

LIS, Monday mornings certainly are a lot less painful without a hangover - always remember that

I wish everyone a comfy & safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[gertrude mcfuzz]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters

Surprisingly sunny day in our neck of the woods. Am a bit immobile with sprained ankle that is taking a while to get better, otherwise I'd be going for a walk right now. Having a good week, onto day 4, feeling positive. Have picked up few crafty projects to keep my mind busy at night time. Still seem to be waking up pretty grumpy but getting better without the hangovers.

lav- hope the storm passed without too many problems. Love having lunch with friends, hope it was fun and you had a good laugh or 2.

Hippy chick - huge congrats on the 100days. Your friend sounds similar to many of mine who only invite me over for drinking occasions. If I don't drink, the nagging just doesn't stop. Well I don't care now! Hope the storm wasn't too bad - I'm way down south and a bit east from where you are and we seemed to get the tail end of it, but not alot really.

Inchains - you got have that huge desire to want to stop drinking I suppose (early days for me, so still working on it too). Work out why your drinking, come up with the alternatives. Check the toolbox on here. Keep trying.

noodle - glad to hear you had a great start to the week and you're stringing some days together there

witchy - get better soon

Hi to everyone else, got to go and change a wheel on my 4 year olds scooter, have put it off long enough. Have a great day / evening AF wherever you are x

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

:happy::happy: 30 days AF with a lifetime more to come.

[Natilie]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,
Just checking in again to say hello. Can't post at work, and the smart phone is just too hard to type on after awhile. So finally sitting down at the computer to write a bit.
I am 23 days AF today, YaY!! Yesterday and last night were difficult. Way too much on my plate after work, went grocery shopping, garbage night and yard clean up and some watering and then the pet care. Totally had all of the HALT triggers going and with worry about work, sleep did not come after 2 am!! I finally had some Sleepytime extra tea,(would have had wine in the "old" days) and then proceeded to have scary nightmares!! Still, I feel like I really learned a lot from yesterday. Need to take better care of myself and not get so tired and stressed out.

I think my brain is rewiring and I am in that phase of recovery, because my emotions are very fragile....and I am dealing with grief that has been in my life for about 5 years now. I lost both my parents in the last 5 years, and also my dear 14 year old German Shepherd who was bonded to me at the hip. Then my boy went off to college last year, so in the last year or so my drinking just seemed to escalate to deal with all of the loss I think. I am actually welcoming the chance to do some work on this and heal a lot more.

Congratulations to HippyChick 100 days!!! WOW! and Mimi 30 days, Awesome!! :goodjob:

And, InChains , I just want to send you some encouragement. Try not to listen to what AL tells you. I know AL really used to lie to me a lot. I could get so down on myself and I really couldn't see that it was the AL talking. I think reading the posts here has really helped me because we are all in this fighting our own demons in our own ways and yet we have so much to learn from each other. I don't think I can ever read the posts without learning something helpful. and we are all here for you, IC. !

And I think I found the "Tool Box" but I am not sure. Please give me directions to the tool box that keeps getting mentioned. Couldn't navigate to it. Thanks!!

Welcome to all the new Nesters and have a lovely night, everyone! I know I will sleep well tonight!
Natilie

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Thanks guys for your support, lately I guess the problem for me has been that by nature I am self destructive, I do things that are dangerous and stupid and make my life harder, I plan to do things that will make things more difficult for me, I even used to plan ways of making the AL problem worse just because I wanted to mess up. I only don't take drugs because I don't have the contacts, I don't know why I do it, or why I plan to do it or daydream about it but i just seem to be on one big self-destructive mission lately. The only thing that stops me is my fiance and not wanting to f*ck up openly whilst i live at home and have to face my familys reaction to my behaviour. I can't deal with the real world sober, I feel like when I'm doing this it's the only thing setting me apart from being ordinary, it's a stupid thign to say/do but there we go...

xIC

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Gert, good to see you but sorry about the ankle - ouch! Sending you healing vibes
What kind of crafts are you doing? Hope your day 4 went well! Don't worry about the grumpiness ~ it will disappear soon.

mimi - CONGRATS on your 30 AF days - PERFECT!!!!!
I'm glad you feel strong & determined to continue on your journey!

Natilie, good for your on your 23 AF days! Here's the link https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
In the past I drank over everything that happened in my life, good & bad. Now I choose to not drink & just experience the good & the bad as it comes. It's doable & there is nothing to fear

IC, I wish I could send you a great big package of Self Esteem!!!!!
You just think you can't deal with the world sober but you really can as most of us are finding out! It's healthy & necessary to feel ALL of your feelings, the good & the bad.
When you have a clear head you can navigate your way through anything - honestly! You are putting so much unneccesary pressure on yourself, you don't have to continue doing that. Is there any chance you can talk to a counselor or someone you trust about this??

The weather man has promised us a nice day here so I'm going to take complete advantage & spend as much time outdoors as possible
Wishing everyone a good AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

InChains;1138857 wrote: Thanks guys for your support, lately I guess the problem for me has been that by nature I am self destructive, I do things that are dangerous and stupid and make my life harder, I plan to do things that will make things more difficult for me, I even used to plan ways of making the AL problem worse just because I wanted to mess up. I only don't take drugs because I don't have the contacts, I don't know why I do it, or why I plan to do it or daydream about it but i just seem to be on one big self-destructive mission lately. The only thing that stops me is my fiance and not wanting to f*ck up openly whilst i live at home and have to face my familys reaction to my behaviour. I can't deal with the real world sober, I feel like when I'm doing this it's the only thing setting me apart from being ordinary, it's a stupid thign to say/do but there we go...

xIC

IC,

Sounds like you are a young person if you are still living at home. When are you getting married?
I could suggest a million things for you, but I know in your mindset right now, all you would hear is "blah,blah.blah" am I right?? :blah:
So, this is all I will say. Read: The Power by Rhonda Byrne
You can get it used at Amazon.com. Go to Amazon.com, scroll down to "Books" and type in "The Power" and hit "Go".
This is your mission, should you choose to accept it. :h xxx

[spedteach]

Newbies Nest

Hey all,
Am joining the Nest. Accumulate sober days and then blow it. Today is day 11. Congrats to everyone accumulating time. Hang in there IC. When I think about what I drank over the answer is I drank over everything or nothing at all. This alcoholic never needed a reason to drink.
Stay cool.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters!

Barbara, IC is very young & I'm sure a lot of our suggestions probably sound 'parental'. You book idea is a good one - hope it helps

spedteach, my friend Shelley, welcome back! You've really been missed :l
Make yourself comfortable here for a while, it's a friendly zone

Just went & bought the paint for my bedroom - now I need to work up the energy to actually do the painting - no rush :H

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

InChains - you are a carbon copy of me. When I thought about giving up the booze, I instantly started to think about what I could take instead. I even considered aerosols!! It was then that I realised it wasn't a case of just enjoying the wine maybe a wee bit too much, it was actually that I needed to be drunk - big wake up call. Even the thought of being intimate with my other half scares me sober...which is absolutely no issue when I'm drunk, and theres no reason in the world why I should be, he's my soul mate. I really need to think this through. It makes me think theres much more to all this than just getting used to drinking to much. The best of luck to you, we can do it with each other (stopping the sauce that is:H).
Mimi and Nat - wow - well done you's - fabulous xxxxx
I'm on day 4 - starting to look a lot better - but was in such a FOUL mood last night - everyone really got the brunt of it - just feel soooo tired - which I've read is a common thing at this stage.
Hang on in there everyone - luvs and stuff XXXXXXX:h

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesties

Here I am again my second day one this week and definately my last, it really is so riddiculus that I do this when I know I can't drink.

Lovely day yesterday, I met hubs after class and we went for lunch, we ordered the steak and for some reason decided to share a bottle of wine with the meal... big mistake as soon as had that first sip I wanted more, we shared the bottle, finished the day but all I could focuss on was having more wine. I went out and brought a bottle between us later and ended up also buying two tiny bottles for myself to drink alone, which of course I did.

Today I've just felt awful, been on the edge of a hangover all day and just about scared at how easy it was to begin to slip back into past habits, sneaking extra bottles into the house and having to hide the empties, then sneaking them out to the recycling before hubs saw them. That is my wake up call, it is just going to be so easy for me to go back to how I was before, there I was sneaking around with more AL immediately once again, I'm just thankful I didn't buy my hubs vodka, if I started on that again I don't know where I'd have been.

Anyhow that is my confession, hope everyone is hanging in there and staying strong:l