Newbies Nest

[windy]

Newbies Nest

FIRST OF ALL --- Congratulations Blondie on 30 days...You are such a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work.

Piper -- Something you mentioned about isolation over the summer really it a chord with me. How you are now starting to feel good again and working on some fitness goals. I have always said "You don't know how bad it was, until you start to get better". Also, I am intrigued about your trail marathon. I love to run trails, but don’t hear too much about trail marathons unless they are ultra marathons and I am NOT doing that. Good job on turning the car around and going back. That shows determination.

Belle and Irie – You came right back here and told us what you did and that is huge in my book. That also shows how seriously committed you are to fighting this. It’s when you stay away, you get lost in that slippery slope called denial and shame.

Martie - -Keep reading and keep posting. You did great last night maintaining awareness and fighting off the cravings.

Prairie Fairy – You are doing a fantastic job. It has been a hard time for you and you have risen above all the BS. My hero.

AguyfromNC -- This is my first proper "Hello" to you, being as I am, of course, a proper, young lady and all. (You probable have not seen me swear yet.)

Lolab – Another one of my heros…Your posts are becoming so helpful and fun to read AND you are doing a great job at staying sober through your own issues. I have to say, I have very little problems with sleep, but I have had my moments and it can honestly make or break your day. I am so proud of you, you always are so kind and helpful, even when you are not feeling so much so yourself. What is P90X?

Byrdie – Gosh…Another hero…Do you fly too?? You sure are flying high to me. And certainly not in that way…You soar above us all.

Herbie – You are so spot on – We are giving up NOTHING at all. What we are gaining is so much more for one - our own self respect. For right now, that will do for me.

Lav – I too was reading on another thread how you mailed someone a hat. That was one of the nicest things I’ve heard of any one doing in a long time. You are amazing and sound so strong. Another hero.

Lifechange – Good for your for hitting the track and I loved your visualization techniques. One time when I was running on the dreaded treadmill I visualized coming in to the finish line with all the peeps here cheering me on. Everyone was in character and looked so happy for me. Just Boy you all really looked funny in a group together. Thought I would share that. Exercise is key to my recovery and I cannot stress the importance of this enough. I feel so much better because of it.

Special HELLOs to If dreams were horses and Lilla, Steadyhands, Unwasted, Pinecone, Audrey, Andrew and Minstar…FreeFly too. What are you all up to? We are a big group. Forgive me if I didn't mention your name...I am having a hard time remembering everyone. But you all did look funny in my visualization. Just had to say it again.:H:H:H There were lots of birds, a blue puppet thing; a 50's lady with great glasses looking all dignified; horses, butterflies, blonde ladies, boat captians, Stars, Big hands, tons of cute dogs clapping, walking big pinecones...You all help so much, you will never know.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Windy, day 17 for me - have a touch of the flu, so feeling puny.

Sending everyone here big hugs - sounds like you're doing great. And, we all know, if you got off track, pick yourself up and dust off -- it's worth the fight, and you'll get there!

Best to you all. Have a super AF day

[lilla]

Newbies Nest

Goodnight all, another day over successfully for me. About to listen to a meditation track and then get to bed.

Blondie, CONGRATULATIONS on your 30 days, I don't have my hat yet, but if I did, I would take my hat off to you for such a great achievement! It has been so motivating to follow your journey which you tackled with so much enthusiasm, radiating positive vibes!

Great post Windy - I have enjoyed reading today and you summed up so well. It is funny how you visualise everyone, isn't it.

Wishing you all a great AF day

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Herbie;1218213 wrote: Wow lots happening tonight... I am really coming in late tonight... The last 3 days I have had the phone glued to my ear on business stuff for my hubby while he is out of town... major busy, gators biting everywhere... 22 days ago, I would have had a least 3 glasses of wine by now just to wind down etc... but I haven't, went and met a friend for coffee and had such a nice time.. feeling relaxed and ready to settle in for the night

Blonde enjoy that hat in the morning!!!

Belle Girl... get back on that horse and start riding again

Andrew... from Ireland... I have a friend from Cork... she liked her drink (alot) and she use to say "If God intended for the Irish to rule the world he would never have invented whiskey". !!!.. (Just trying to maybe put a smile on your face) We all know what we need need to do to lose weight, stop drinking, stop smoking etc... but knowing and doing are two different things.. . I have been reading Jason Vale's book Kick the Drink Easily.. he states "for years I never thought about stopping drinking for one reason and one reason alone FEAR. The thought of never drinking again ... petrified me. ... It is only the fear that prevents them from stopping drinking... the fear that I would never be able to enjoy or cope with my life in the same way again without AL.... fear of feeling miserable and deprived. the truth was I wanted to stop drinking but I wanted to drink as well.. I was confused as hell... what alcohol addicts fail to realise is that all those fears are only caused by one thing and one thing alone: the AL itself... Once your realise that AL does nothing for you then for the first time you realise that you will be giving up nothing are for that reason you will not fell deprived when you stop. you will not have to fight the desired; you will simply feel elated you are giving up nothing"

Anyway Andrew I went on too long... with the help of the nesters you will ( not maybe) you will figure out how to stay sober

Sleep well all my fellow nesters, can't wait to say morning to ya all!!!

Thanks Herbie
Ireland is a dreadful place for a problem drinker alright. We love our booze. I just can't understand how I can't stop. I've become a master of deception, and have every reason to stop drinking. I have a young son, a good job, loving parents. But I've found ways to get wasted all the time and keep going. But it's tiring. I often think of suicide, I must admit. I've often bought wine at lunchtime, filled an empty water bottle with it in the toilets in work and swigged it for the afternoon. I'm unbelievably ashamed of this. I'll buy that Jason Vale book anyway. I just wish I can stop and STAY stopped. I'm at my wits end, tbh!

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

Windy -- about the trail marathon, you can look it up. It's called the Umstead Trail marathon. It opened yesterday and was closed this morning. They limit the number of runners to I think 100 or 150? Can't remember. I would have signed up but I am just starting and don't want to get injured by training fast, but I'd like to run it again. I'm thinking about volunteering, or maybe even running one of the 8 miles loops (the run is 3 loops that include an in and out trail for the remainder of the run.)

They also do an ultra there at the end of the month of March--the Umstead Ultra. I have paced with that run. No interest in running through the night for me

Trail running is like meditation to me. It's another form of isolation, yet it's much healthier than drinking. There is nothing like knocking out a 4 or 5 mile run on a 90 degree day or when it's snowing outside.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Piper -- You are my newest MWO hero... That looks intense. I like My slow, steady pace through the muddy or snowy hills, but I am not competitive about it at all. Other things, You betcha, but that is my meditation time. I love being in the woods, running with my doggy all by myself. Some people don't understand and think it is dangerous, but what the he#! I got to do it. It definitely is a reason to stay sober, because it is so much more enjoyable clearheaded and peaceful. Maybe someday..You have peeked my curiosity though.

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello All,

Again, I am really enjoying reading all the positive posts around the Holiday season. I am still feeling very strong and committed to my new way of life - 100% AF.

Last night I went to get my hair done and my hairdresser offered me a glass of wine. I told her "No thanks" and just openly said I was concerned about the amount of wine I was drinking and so I stopped. She sat down and told me she was worried about her own wine drinking habits and had many friends who felt the same way.

It's amazing how many of us are affected by this drug! Anyway, I thought I would share.

BlondAFAmbition - Congratulations on your 30 days!!! And Kudos to all of you who are doing so great counting up the AF days here. I would list you all but there are so many success stories it's hard to keep up! :goodjob::goodjob: It really is a big help to come here and get the support that we need from people who understand.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Windy and Piper, you will not catch me running around this nest. Well, maybe you would I'm so dang slow. I was walking on Monday with my neighbor and FELL over a light reflector in the road!! A car stopped as my friend was helping me up, rolled down the window and said, "Does this road go all the way thru or does it dead end?"...in disbelief..I said, "DIDN'T YOU JUST SEE ME FALL?" she said, "Yes, but you looked ok". PEOPLE!!!! She didn't even ask if I was ok!!! Oh all the nerve! Oh well enough of that...altho I did get a nice case of road rash for show and tell. How do you like that, my first SOBER fall. It sucked! I felt it!!
Andrew...On Jan 19, 2011 I came to this nest, having tried and fail and tried and failed. I just couldn't seem to get it, and everybody else WAS. What the hell was wrong with ME? Other people had even worse stories than I did, how were they able to stop and I wasn't. I could get 12 days in, twice, but that was the max I ever did. That night, I considered what you are....I don't know how I could have been in any worse place. My husband had packed his clothes and we were talking about who was going to get what. 25 years I've worked like a dog and it was all just about to go away. That Thursday morning, Jan 20, 2011...I DID wake up...and thought that the way I was going obviously wasn't working. I was trying to MAKE drinking work in my life, TRYING HARD. But that day, with nothing to lose, I tried one more thing. NOT DRINKING. NONE, EVER AGAIN. NOT AN OPTION. So I gave this plan a try, and it has worked. It was incredibly liberating, not having to fight this thing anymore, not having to negociate, not having to bargain and lose. There is no fair playing with this opponent, because he's winner take all. I committed that day to not drink, and that is exactly what I did. It's what you have to do too. It isn't that bad!! In fact, it's not bad at all! I have a 100% better life now than I did. I thought I was such a good alcoholic, too. But people knew, I wasn't fooling anyone but myself. Commit to it Andrew...you KNOW in your heart of hearts, it is the only way to beat it...cut it off at the head, completely. You will NEVER regret it. I have never regretted one single day of my sobriety. I will not wish you luck, luck has nothing to do with it. This is very heavy lifting...but you must commit to stop. Do it for yourself! Byrdie

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Andrew, I just want to say welcome and tell you that we all understand exactly what you're going through - the hopeless feelings. If you can change your environment for a while, maybe you can get a few AF days, and then start building. A lot of people here have done it that way.

We're here for you. Big hugs:l:l

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Andrew – I have been reading some of your posts and my heart goes out to you. Please stop thinking your life is meaningless. Every one of us has a reason to be here. You must not give up hope on becoming sober either. You have it in you to go the extra mile. Please take whatever measures you need to take to make that happen. If it means staying home – stay home. If means finding some new friends or being lonely for awhile, then find new friends or find yourself. Do something you have always wanted to do but keep putting it off because alcohol is consuming your time. And exercise. Keep coming here and let us know how we can help. We all want to very much. Did you go to that AA meeting? Please let us know.

Byrdie -- That trail marathon is a lot closer to your neck of the woods than mine. I see you doing that. You had me laughing out loud describing your pain in your fall.:upset::H:upset::H ..my first SOBER fall. It sucked! I felt it!!

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi - I'm off to bed, but just wanted to say that I withstood my first real test with AL.

My ex and I needed to go to our kids yearly Christmas school party. Afterwards I was invited to eat at his father's home. He had my fav white wine already chilled and I said no thanks. It was ignored and then again asked later at the table...Again I said no thanks. I asked for coffee instead. My ex said it will take time to make it and hi'll make it after dinner. I am still waiting!!!

It is so easy to pour someone wine, and to fill up the second glass and the 3rd and the 4th, but making coffee is too difficult. My eyes are opening!

SH

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Day 4 is here, and i just posted in another thread that I realised last night what has been so hard about these days. I have managed many day fours since starting with MWO and have chalked up a lot of AF days, but I have also had to have many day 1's. I was not committed to being AF (apart from my first attempt) - and therefore it wasn't the beginning of the end (how it feels just now) - I knew that there was a glass of wine in the future, so the days did not seem too bad as there was always the knowledge lingering in front of me that I would not make it. This time I am more determined and instead of thinking about the beginning of the end, I am realising that I am at the end and starting a new beginning. I have to admit to not feeling 100% sure that I can never have a drink, but I am working on my voices! I have found so many excuses today to drink tomorrow (being Friday) - I have so many things (bad things) going on just now and everyoen was a great excuse to drink - I am fighting each one down, and hopefully can eat the elephant one bite at a time!!
well done to so many successes - even those really struggling are admiting what is happening and that is the very first step to success....every slip is another learning experience that will make us stronger - I know as I have had so many slips...
We are all facing demons and problems, having bad times and looing for good times, but we are doing it togher and trying to move ourselves and those who need help forward rather than dwelling in the. Piper and Guy, you an do this, you really can - it may not always feel that way, but you can do it...
Take care all, and lets gear up for the weekend - AF!!

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Hello All

Super tired tonight ... have been going hard all week... I hurt between my shoulders and my chest is tight from the strain of meeting certain deadlines... but met them and now I can look forward to things slowing down for a while...

Stopped at the health food store today and got Natural Calm... I am so tired not sure I need it tonight but sometimes when I am really tired that is when it is hardest for me to get to sleep. I will report on the Natural Calm in the morning..

Andrew if your are floating around out there drop in and let us know how you are doing.. you can see by the post everyone wants the best for you

I am going to go get something to eat and will be back later...

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Herbie;1218784 wrote:

Andrew if your are floating around out there drop in and let us know how you are doing.. you can see by the post everyone wants the best for you

I am going to go get something to eat and will be back later...

Oh I'm here. The horrible thing is I love drinking more than anything else. I've done everything. I've run marathons, travelled the world, made love to beautiful girls, jumped from an aeroplane, I have an amazing son, amazing parents, friends who would do anything for me. Yet still I find myself coming back to alcohol. I just wish I knew why that was. I could say that enough is enough but I've said that about half a dozen times already this year. What does it take?

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hey Herbie...I also picked up some Natural Calm today. Haven't tried it yet, but we can compare notes sometime. I also picked up "Theanine Serene". It has Theanine (obviously) in it, GABA and some other things...I'm too lazy to go and get it now to give the full list of ingredients. If anyone has tried it, please let me know, thanks.

Herbie, hope you get some well needed rest tonight. Must feel good to have accomplished something at work today. Well done!

Hope everyone is having a nice day/evening/night in the nest. I am driving kids around this evening, can't even think of AL, which is a GOOD THING!

Best to all!