Newbies Nest

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Starting on Day One again

Hi all. And Happy New Year. I'm starting over (again!) after 2.5 AF days because I drank last night at our dinner party. I'm starting to see more clearly that it was not really necessary for me to drink. I cooked a French inspired menu, with wine pairings and it was really good, but I could have done without the wines! This morning I actually had a headache even though I had filled myself up with Naltrexone and aminos. I didn't really feel like drinking but I didn't see how I could NOT. Ugh. How I remember those hangovers I used to get - complete torture but I was reaching for a glass once I started feeling better later in the day. What a mess!!

Anyway, I missed starting on Jan 1, but I'm here today for a "re-start." I'm going to stick with the Naltrexone, 5HTP and L-Glut. If I can figure out the ticker I'll add that to my sig so I can feel good as I see the days mounting up. Thanks for all the inspiring posts here. :thanks:

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

How I remember those hangovers I used to get - complete torture but I was reaching for a glass once I started feeling better later in the day. What a mess!!

MWOL - the horrible cycle......nothing is more torturous! Believe me, not drinking is much better than this! Hope you can do it.........it gets easier and is soooooooo preferable to drinking. You'll feel a void for a while, and you'll have to get reacquainted with yourself but you can do it.:l

[Nelz]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted;1237084 wrote: MWOL - the horrible cycle......nothing is more torturous! Believe me, not drinking is much better than this! Hope you can do it.........it gets easier and is soooooooo preferable to drinking. You'll feel a void for a while, and you'll have to get reacquainted with yourself but you can do it.:l

+ 1000 AF feels better than whatever little bit of satisfaction you get from giving in to the urge.......and I dont know about anyone else, but I can assure you, I never did ANYTHING good under the influence of poison.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted....I am so very impressed. It's like you've gotten your wings and are sharing the secret so that others may get them....It is so cool to read your words. I looked back at your beginnings...wow, have you come a long way...I am floored, impressed, and extremely proud. You are 'getting it'. There is no magic bullet, is there...all you gotta do is NOT DRINK! Well done to you, and to us all, every day you don't drink is better than the day before, I promise! I'm a card-carrying member of the Instant Gratification Society (IGS), and if I can do this, you can do! While the gratification isn't instant, it's intense, wouldn't you say? I heard a commercial over the weekend about a stop smoking patch or some such..'.Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough...to keep me from you!!!" Now a year ago, was I talking to AL??? Or to the rest of my life???? Good question! Have a sober day and MindPeace to all...Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I'm with you on that thought Nelz

Back from Curves & am revved up to get some stuff done around here :H

MWOL, I have a question or actually an observation.......
I've been around MWO long enough to recognize certain non-commital behaviors. I realize that each of us have to find our own way out but - I'm wondering why you planned a dinner with wine pairings just as you were starting on your 30 day AF journey
IMHO you just set yourself up for an evening of drinking wine & used the dinner as an excuse. Please don't take offense but you were obviously not commited to beginning your journey. Taking supplements and or Rx meds & choosing to drink at the same time is not going to get the job done for you. Are you ready to embark on a 30 day AF commitment now?

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Good stuff here.

Irie -- Stay strong through Day 3. It sounds like you are beginning to recognize a pattern. I know I did after awhile.

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

lMorning all (well it is in California) - thanks for the words of support, my youngest is really hurting over our impending divorce - sadly she is not able to see how much happier we are, and just wants her partents together - my heart bleeds for her.
Unwasted - I did get in touch with K9 - haven't seen much of her recently, but it is her week with her daughter, so hopefully she is having a wonderful motehr/daughter time!
Things seem to be clicking for me too - and many wise words here - MWOL and IHMO - different things work for different folks, but tempation has to be out of the way for me or I can talk myself into anything, inluding drinking, even though I am scared to death of dying of liver failure and the more immediate bad effects - it is horrid the grip it has on us, but for a good while I would take ALL temptation out of the way so that you have at least a fighting chance of getting some days behind you...:l:l

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

You are so right Lavande!

I am not as committed as I'd like to be. I'm afraid to be totally abstinent to tell the truth. DH drinks so much and our home is FULL of booze and that is NOT going to change. I have asked DH to give up drinking so much and every night and he says NO. To be fair he does not get drunk except rarely but he does drink too much - but he is a separate person and my sobriety should not be tied to his.

It is our WHOLE social life with neighbours and family too. I just get so fed up with the whole thing. I wish I could run away but that's silly. This is my life and my DH and I have to do good things for ME and not for anyone else.

I'm afraid of what to do with myself at 5pm. I'm afraid that if DH finds out I'm trying to give up booze once and for all he'll say "well, how many times have I heard that." I'm afraid of having to socialize with people who abuse alcohol on a regular basis - not get drunk - but way too much, and we can NEVER have a party or BBQ without TONS of wine and hours of drinking. I'm afraid of living in wine country where wine is seen as a part of everyday life - lots of Italians here - lots and lots of wineries etc. I'm afraid that I can't last very long at this by myself.

But most of all I'm afraid that I don't really want this badly enough. I would love to moderate but that has not been working for the past 5 years so I guess it is just not for me. But I'm afraid!!!!!

But I know what you are going to say!!! Get a plan. Work the plan. And to heck with everything and everyone else!!! I guess I'll just have to stay close to this forum and keep reading and keep taking the sups and get busy with my plan. Please keep calling me out when I get whimpy! I sure need it.

Levande, I appreciate SO much your calling me out!!!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Here I am again ~ don't feel like working today

windy & SL, hope you are having a great day!

MWOL, I tend to be a bit blunt at times but looking back - bluntness is exactly what I needed when I first arrived here! I needed the elders to come right out convince me that I needed to stop bullshitting myself - YEP!!!!
I was every bit as fearful as you when I started here. I didn't know how to be a non-drinking adult!! Absolutely everyone around me drinks, how could I stop??
Turns out there really is nothing to fear but fear itself!
I knew that I had to stop immediately, I couldn't allow it to get any worse. In my case I was absolutely drinking in attempt to relieve long standing anxiety/depression. So it made sense to finally find some way to kick that (Rx antidepressants did not work or lessen my desire to drink).
I actually settled on an OTC herbal product (Amoryn), a program called Habit Busting (to rid myself of chronic negative thinking), joined MWO & used the Hypno CDs exactly as directed....... Everything finally came together for me but I had to find my way. I think about it in terms of detoxifying my entire lfe - if it's not good for me or doesn't serve me in a positive way then I'm not having it! That applies to food, AL, bad habits & toxic friends/relationships
And I really don't give a flying damn what anyone else thinks about my choices :H

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys,

just a quick check in. All is great with me, had my brothers wedding new years eve and just back from the 3 day event. It was wonderful and you know it wasn't too difficult staying AF. I feel great, also I have another reason to stay AF, I just found out I'm pregnant a week ago!!! My hubby and I are delighted, we have been trying for a year and 2 months after giving up AL I get pregnant, I don't believe it is a coincidence. Hope everyone is keeping well. I'll catch up properly tomorrow xxx

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Wow - fabulous news Mrs G - so happy for you!!

[sufi]

Newbies Nest

Oh my dear, dear Byrdlady, how is it possible that you are so encouraging to everyone? The light just pours out of you, i see it as golden rays emanating from your fingers. You are a born supporter and achiever. I am so happy to know you! Just looking at the little picture on teh left makes me think that perhaps I will also develop into such a strong women, if I survive these first 100 days. It has been day 4 and I even have some wine bottle in the house which unsispecting guests have brought, and it doesnt bother me at all. In the beginning I thought I would go for moderation, but now I see that is not for me.
I want to get rid of AL for ever. That is your influence. Thank you all!

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!!!:wavin:

I?m back after a great 15 day holiday. Proud to say that I stayed AF! (53 days now, I think. Will count on new calendar tomorrow and mark AF mile stones for 2012!)

This was 15 very interesting days. On holiday with my ex and 2 kids and his whole alcoholic family?
I felt the emotions that I used to numb out with AL. This marriage will never work without AL.
Went to bed early to skip the worst drinking hours of the day ? so I slept a lot!
I realized that nobody even cares to ask you what you will have for a drink if you don?t booze along?
My ?clean? living made me an outcast. I had very little adult conversations, and did feel lonely, but I was an active sober mom!
I saw my ex tried quitting the sigs 3 times on this holiday?. And listen numerous times how sigs should go, but AL ? never!!
I saw my ex father in law piss himself @5pm after a whole day of boozing. And then how everyone tried to act like nothing happened.
I saw my ex mom in law playing the enabler job?
And I can go on and on!!!
In the end everything and everybody irritated me, which brought me to the conclusion that I was struggling to cope with this new way of living and that my views will change again. Had some really ugly, nasty thoughts about them!!
I thought about drinking and smoking a lot in the last 3 days? it was time to get my own space again. Even dreamt about a relapse. To be treated differently and to be different is still something I need to adjust to. Going back to old ways seemed easier and that it would relieve loneliness. I MISSED THE NEST SOOOO MUCH!!! It is so important to stay strapped in!!
I am going back all the way to pg 1630?
Don?t want to miss a thing!:bananacomputer:

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Mrsg wonderful news about your baby!!! So happy for you.

Lavende thanks. So you found the cd's helpful? Someone mentioned that the guy on them sounded odd or had an annoying accent or pronounced words funny...did you find that? Was it distracting? Was it "new-agy?" I'd like to order them and do the program fully but really can't justify the cost if I'm not going to like them. Please let me know exactly what was good about them (if you don't mind that is!!)

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hey Steadyhands, welcome back!

That sounds like quite an ordeal! It is interesting to think that when I used to drink, I would have "enjoyed" that socializing, now we can see it for what it is. Great job dealing with it!