Newbies Nest

[Mulligan2]

Newbies Nest

Here we go again!

Good morning. I came here a few days ago seeking help and I am ashamed to say that I have failed once again.
A friend brought a few bottles of red over fri night.....My biggest weakness, and hubby was out of town...so there I went...
Spent (wasted) the entire day yesterday hung badly....my poor kids watching tv all day long.....whilst I fought off panic attacks, sadness, and depression and of course had a very short fuse.
I am going to try again today...am I allowed to be here if I am still stuck on the roller coaster that I so desperately want to be off of? I'm so embarrassed but so desperate....
It seems to be that third day for me....I go 2 days af but something goes off in me on day 3...everything goes out the window and this driving force propels me to get wine and a pack of cigarettes and finish as much as possible as soon as possible....
Just disgusted with myself.

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all enjoying the w-end. I've REALLY been struggling lately, I'm not sure why but I too would kill for a glass of vino, but, i haven't given in. life is pretty stressful at the moment so maybe that is part of it. All in all I do feel proud that I'm not giving in, life is difficult for most people at the moment and for my family we are in serious financial difficulties. We are only a month away every month from having to move in with my mom. I have been unemployed since finishing university last May and my hubby is self employed and his business is seriously struggling. I had a job interview on Fri and I pray(and I don't pray!) that I get it or we may go under for a while. Please send positive vibes out there for me, I need a bit of luck, I've had a pretty bad year. Sorry to go on but I could do with a bit of support. thanks guys xxx

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

Hi Mulligan2,

Of course you are allowed on here regardless of what happens. we are all here to support one another. While its hard when you cave in be proud that you have the want and will to keep trying. One day at a time, try to get a plan together, check the tool box on the site and post, post, post if it helps. Best of luck, we are all rooting for you xxx

[westiesrock]

Newbies Nest

Hi Mulligan2,
I can so relate. I could have written the exact paragraph two weeks ago (except my kids are grown). The depression/anxiety/stress becomes a viscious circle and I was I guess finally desperate to get off. You can do this! I had to change my thinking from can't to can. Thanks to Nelz for emcouraging me to try, that I might surprise myself. Day 5 for me and I will tell you that the depression has lifted substantially in just 5 days. Have you read Jason Vales book, Quit the Drink Easily? I've read it a couple of times. It gives you a different perspective.

[Almostfamous]

Newbies Nest

Mulligan2, hang in there and don't give up! It always takes 3 days for me and things do get better. Granted, the sleep stinks (at least for me) for a while but walking up with guilt and shame is so worth it. Keep on keeping on. I'm only on day 5 but will keep going! It's not going to be pretty but neither was I when I drank!
Mrsg- sending positive vibes your way!!!!! Best of luck.
blonde- welcome to day 5. We made it through Friday and Saturday! Woot!!!!
Happy Sunday Nesters. : )

[Almostfamous]

Newbies Nest

Westies- we posted at the same time. Glad to be on day 5 with you!

[westiesrock]

Newbies Nest

Hi Almostfamous - way to go on the 5 days too! I love Turnagains AF =Absolutely Fantastic !!! I can so relate to out of state moves. We've done it 8 times with another one upcoming. Ugh.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters...remember that Day 3 is when the AL is out of your bloodstream and you are operating on your own power. This is the day that the AL Voice will tell you ANYTHING to get back in. Just like a bad lover....he will tell you exactly what you want to hear...."no one will know"...".what will just ONE day hurt?" "You don't owe those nesters anything" "You aren't drinking as much as you did, so that's good, so what will this hurt?" "I should be able to moderate, I don't care what they say" "If I can just have this one last time...I won't do it again". Well, may I just say, that if you didn't have a big problem, you wouldn't be here. You came here to quit this cycle and get your life back. Is AL going to be THAT DAM IMPORTANT as to exclude everything else that matters to you? That's what it finally came down to for me....My husband of 24 years....my home, my friends, ,my life.....or a dam drink. I tell you, it was a HARD choice to make. (can you beleive that it was??? to non drinkers, I must seem like a spineless toy) To one of us....well, you understand. The only way to not drink is to not drink. Period. One drink leads to another and that is just the way it is. ONE DRINK will NOT do anything for you except derail you, undermine your goals and call in the GSR brothers (Guilt/Shame/Remorse) Try something new....try NOT caving in....and see what this does for your self esteem!! DO NOT FEED the ANIMAL....because he sure bites back. Do not give in no matter what and no matter who!!! You will NEVER regret not drinking....Byrdie

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

very well said, Byrdie!! it's all so true and always good for me to read and think about over and over again!!
sending strength to all of those struggling!! we are now none drinkers. we don't drink period. exclamation point!!!!!
that being said, it was very difficult for me to get past the 3rd day. but it does get easier. and having a clear head is such a gift. so do whatever you have to do to get through the days. and do keep coming back, regardless of how ashamed you feel.
big hugs to all,
LC

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie,

YOU ROCK!

Great post.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady - your post has just really helped me. I'm on day 3 and I have a headache ...... I have to stay strong. This is the toughest time so far!

[Almostfamous]

Newbies Nest

Byrd- very well said and worth reading over and over.

Westies- eight??? Whoa! You've even got me beat on moves. I'm hoping the "af" in almostfamous turns into alcohol free for good.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Day 5 for me and it is really hard! I'm glad to read that Byrdie cos I'm so close to giving in. Just need to get through the end of the day.

Alcohol suppresses your appetite so I wouldn't eat a huge amount when drinking, but I would eat something. Plus I guess there's like 800 calories a bottle of wine so I got my calories that way. Not that it's healthy! Now though I'm so stressed and miserable without my "crutch" I can barely eat at all anyway, plus no "empty" calories from alcohol. Think I'm just going to go to bed and hope tomorrow is better.

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

MrsG,

Sending support your way from cincinnati, ohio. Wishing only the best with your job interview and the not so perfect current situation.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Willow keep going keep going - this really is your toughest time, especially this time of night with young children ( I relate to your situattion v well)

Keep re-reading Byrdies comment from earlier today. You will be SO proud of yourself when you get to a week..... And beyond....