Newbies Nest

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Gdog....Do not beat yourself up!!!!!!!! Today is another day

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Thanks all for the lovely words of encouragement - so much appreciated. GDog, that's a good way of looking at it and true.

>>Lily, I struggle with the same thoughts as you. I wonder if I really need to quit altogether, since I wasn't really that bad. I didn't drink in the mornings, I didn't drink when I woke during the nights, I didn't hide bottles, etc., etc. However, I DID get drunk enough almost every night to feel like complete hell every morning, and I can't live like that.>>

Library... This is the sort of thinking that trips me up every quit. I really WASN'T 'that' bad in the grander scheme of things but what is too bad? There's always going to be a "worse" alcoholic to compare oneself with. Just because I didn't drink in the mornings and had my shit together enough on the surface - enough that the majority of friends don't understand why I feel the need to quit - doesn't mean it wasn't causing major problems and agony for me. I know it was - I know it's my addictive brain trying to trick me back into drinking and yet..

One thing that has helped me here, and that I'd recommend to anyone starting and struggling or slipping, is the journalling I did in the depths of alcohol misery. Not meaning while i was drunk but suffering the aftereffects of shame, guilt, depression, anxiety, remorse, self loathing and my compulsive drinking patterns. And, conversely, the high points I've felt being AF. Helps to have it in black and white when you're doubting your reasons.

And, let's face it, we must ALL have very compelling reasons to quit drinking or we wouldn't ever have found our way here in the first place, right?

HoneySoup - ah, hugs my dear. I think you have indeed just encapsulated exactly that struggle we're talking about here perfectly. The endless internal battle. And more and more I think it just takes good solid sober time - however you get there - before those voices dim. More than 21 days. Maybe more than 30 or 60 days even. I also tend to cave around the 3 week mark - why is that I wonder?

Lolab that was a wonderful reply too to Honeysoup that's relevant to us all - thank you.

Ah, GDog, :l hugs to you. Look, I don't think there's any of us here that haven't had multiple Day 1s. The important thing is to keep trying. Even at the vantage point of 12 days - and I've been there a few times - I can say that it does get physically a lot easier after a week, then more so after two... And know that we'll be here cheering on your successes.

Monique, thank you for that and I look forward to hearing more about your story.

Thanks all. I feel stronger for having read all your great replies. :thanks:

Lilly

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Lola..That was incredible! You just said something that took a tremendous amount of courage. You are going to do this. That was a breakthrough post. Good job!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

That was a fantastic post Lolab and one that most of us can relate to - that hamster wheel that you just can't get off.....

Well it is possible to get off but like anything that's worth having, it's not easy and you may have to work incredibly hard in first few days /,weeks. But it won't always be this hard, just keep hanging on til suddenly it gets a lot lot easier.

Those of you stuck in that cycle of feeling rubbish in a morning and very motivated to quit, only for it to wear off as the day progresses and witching hour approaches, have you tried either writing down ( or voice recording?) your thoughts and why you want to quit, why you hare drinking, how rough you feel etc in a morning when your determination is strong, then revisiting these thoughts later in the day when you feel weak?

I have a whole notebook of motivational quotes, reasons why I want to quit, newspaper articles about problem drinkers, to look at when its tough - or I visit You Tube later in day and watch the Rain in my Heart documentaries.

Keep going!

Sausage x
Day 110

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Feel free to share those motivational quotes and links anytime Sausage I have a doc with quotes I've found particularly inspiring from MWO members in fact. The more motivational tools the better. And I regularly reread threads like Tool Box, the 'Gratitude vs Deprivation' and there's a nice one over in long term abstinence that's been bumped recently about the benefits of an AF life that I'm enjoying.

I'm still on the lookout for new books and other good websites - I like Spiritual River too though haven't really delved into their forums properly yet. I particularly like memoirs. I've asked here before but I've read so many sobriety books now having trouble finding new ones that appeal. I'm about to reread Dry which I read many, many years ago but didn't like that much then - probably didn't relate so much then though. I did like Running with Scissors though so willing to give it another go.

[rockbottom91]

Newbies Nest

New

Ive never reached out for help before besides the random conversations I've had with friends and family about wanting to quit. Its been a couple years since I've wanted to quit. Kept thinking maybe if I just learned control while drinking I'd be ok. Who was I kidding? Its time to stop pretending. I need help and I cant do this alone. I'm hoping to find some support by reaching out to people who have been through this before. I'm ready to take my life back. :new:

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi RB,

Welcome! You've taken that first gigantic leap of reaching out and admitting you need help - that is a huge step. So well done. You'll also find lots of great advice, support and understanding here.

Have you read around the site a bit? Do you know about the Toolbox?

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Tell us a bit more about yourself or start a thread in the MyStory section of the forums. You can do this. Hope to hear more from you soon.

:welcome:

Lilly

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

From what you've said you might find this thread helpful too:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ion-37192.html

[rockbottom91]

Newbies Nest

Thank you =)
I'm just tired of all the regrets and not knowing what happened the night before. I come from a big family of alcoholics and Ive been feeling like I cant do it. I'm not strong enough to say no for the rest of my life. I feel like I have no choice now. Its either quit or expect a short life. The stress and depression I have over drinking will lead me to an early grave. Started drinking at 16 and knew pretty quick it would be my downfall. 5 years later and im still making the same mistake by picking up that bottle knowing ill lose all control.I want to be some one I can be proud of.... I want to be some one my boyfriend can be proud of. After 6 years in this relationship im tired of being this depressed drunk. No one should have to put up with it. He doesnt trust me and I dont either when I drink. As long as alcohol is still in my life I can never promise any one anything. I can hurt some one. Hurt myself. Or possibly die one of these days from alcohol poisoning. So all these thoughs and realizations have brought me here today. I just hope this sticks. it has to. :eeks:

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Oh RB :l

Look at it this way, you are very young still. There are many on these boards two or three times your age who are where you're at as far as starting to deal with their alcohol problems. If you feel this way about it now - and given your family history - you're right, it WILL get worse. But you have a choice. You can do something about it - starting today.

Have you people around you who will be supportive of your quitting? Is rehab an option for you? How much are you drinking a day? What tools have you, besides MWO, at your disposal to help you fight this?

:h

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

And are you a reader? There are some good books you can order. Start with Jason Vale's Quit the Drink for one. It may help you rethink how you view alcohol.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

And, if in doubt, watch the Rain in Your Heart documentaries at the very top of the forum threads. They are a real eye opener about where continuing on this path can lead you. Stick around - keep posting.

Lilly x

[patricia]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

Mixed posts this morning! Wishing success to all. Day 4 successfully completed. Now on to day 5 . . . . . Px

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Back at it today after last night. Staying in the battle!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good job Patricia!! Way to get back at it G-Dog. Can't ask for anything more. We all struggle, but it's those of us who stay determined despite the struggles or even slips that win in the long haul.

Good morning peeps! Feeling a bit tired this morning. Just checking in before I leave for work. Hope all are well. Be back later.

Lg