Newbies Nest

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

LibraryGirl, if I am welcome after bouncing on and off so are you. It is too bad you felt some less welcome.
Congrats on you being AF since Fri, I am only Sunday, but I feel better this time than the last. You are in a good position for not having any desire, I do, but it does not last that long. I do not know about you, but while I was drinking I had very restless sleeping patterns, and I guess I have to train my system to grow out of those, for I still do. Mind you, last night was Canada Day and the neighbours were setting firecrackers off till close to midnite. So maybe tonite I will sleep alittle better. Seems everytime I started to doze off, (BANG,ZING, BANG) I should l have just walked over there and watched.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Destiniey, yes I believe we can walk this road together with all the others who were AF this past weekend. It will be an interesting journey, I believe LibraryGirl will be joining us also. I am just jumping back so I have alot of posts to read.

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!!! In Australia is already Tuesday

Lilly - i think we all here have some illusions and delussions about moderation and "2 glasses of exelent wine" with delicious supper...my ability to have "such civilized" action is gone:upset:..i try to remember these feelings having meal in a nice restaurant, talks, little buzz and nothing more..it' s GONE..it' s damn hard to admitt to myself: my dear, as much you adore french lifestyle and philosophy of wine drinking you' re not able to do it anymore..you can follow french recipies, eat small portions, use your french cosmetic and put Hermes parfume as much as you wish BUT YOU CAN' T DRINK ANY GLASS OF WINE OR CHAMPAGNE..
Lilly - i think about AL - we can listen to others, look at others mistakes but we can learn only by "our mistakes, experiments, up and downs"..it' s not easy - to argue and convince yourself - the hardest conversation in the world!!! Keep going, don' t criticize yourself!!!

Hello LibraryG - let' s continue our journey!!! I'm scared too - My Day 13 starts so as far is ok..i already wrote that on friday 9 a.m. AUS time i start travel to my homeland Latvia..There will be 2 long flights (8h and 12.5h) and 2 airports with waiting hours aprox 8 hours in each..It's very exausting but..i have fear that i' ll start drinking..logically i understand very clear and 100% that i can' t..it' s the rational part of my brain but as i'm very emotional and not very rational person sometimes i still have fear of "this other personality", who' s voice is very strong too - o, dear, you're travelling so long , take your time, relax, some glasses of wine coud be perfect etc.

Welcome back Scottish lass!!! I remember your posts very well!! You' re very good!! So you reached more than 2 months??? My biggest achievement in last years was only 2 weeks so i'm nearly coming in this direction..i' d like to hit "my record"..
Wishing you the same - this time go futher!!!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Back on the road again...

:welcome::welcome::welcome: To all newbies - both new and returning. This is a great place and I'm happy you're here.

Firstly, I'm going to say this over there too but THANK YOU Dest and Kradle for your gorgeous posts on my thread! Kradle yours honestly brought tears to my eyes it was sooo lovely. Thank you so much for that. And, also, I am delighted that something good came out of my fall - and therefore that I posted that - that it helped stop you from diving down to the same awful place. I am so happy to be in the Nest with you two - with all of you.

And I am FILLED with determination today even though I still feel crappy physically. (In addition to the hangover and the rest I'm basically allergic to red wine so it's also left me feeling like I have a bad cold - great.)

Ladies, another quitting incentive. I weighed myself this morning and after just ONE night of drinking and one day of crappy eating I was a kilo more! Holy hell - talk about bloating. Half my good work undone just like that. But I know it will go down again after about a week of not drinking.

Library Girl! Of COURSE you are still welcome here! Oh my god, I hope I didn't make you feel that way with my comments. I didn't think your reply sounded condescending. I only said that because I made that comment on your thread about the trigger thoughts. (But, like I said, I still think it was good you were examining what you needed to do and that self censorship is counter productive on a forum like this.) Likewise, I hope my thread wouldn't make you, or anyone else, go 'Oh well I must not be an alcoholic then because I'm not THAT bad. I'm not saying you are an alcoholic either LG, btw, I don't know - and I do believe there are real differences between problem drinkers and alchies and even types of alchies. Only you can work that one out and, frankly, what difference does it make what type of problem you have - if you have a problem this is a place for support and sharing, right?

Fin, I don't know if you saw my post here or thread in general but I fell over the weekend too and in a bad way. So, we are again on Day One together Let's do it this time mate. No excuses. No third time lucky. And it would seem there are a few others right alongside us in timing so we can all pull together and get Boot Camp going in earnest.

BOOT CAMP ARSE KICKING ALERT:

How about for starters everyone tries to post something at least once a week that they've found personally inspiring? It could be a link, a book, a quote, a comment from someone, a post - anything. If everyone did that once a week we'd get a nice stream of inspiration going on here.

One thing that's been inspiring me this week? I read a quote from the fabulous Nora Ephron where she said that about once every ten years she'd look around and say 'is that all there is' - that you have to shake things up and "do the thing that's a stretch". Well, for me right now that is going AF. It made me think about how the hardest things in life (think kids, jobs, home renovations, marriages) are also often the most rewarding.

I wish I could bottle up the determination I'm feeling right now and sprinkle it over you all. Long may it last.

Fortunately a slow work day for me - no deadlines. Next week is going to get crazy with a big new project so I'm going to enjoy the slow week while I can. I'm going to go walk in the park and read and play with my iPad some more.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Audrey14;1344906 wrote: Morning Nesters!!! In Australia is already Tuesday

Lilly - i think we all here have some illusions and delussions about moderation and "2 glasses of exelent wine" with delicious supper...my ability to have "such civilized" action is gone:upset:..i try to remember these feelings having meal in a nice restaurant, talks, little buzz and nothing more..it' s GONE..it' s damn hard to admitt to myself: my dear, as much you adore french lifestyle and philosophy of wine drinking you' re not able to do it anymore..you can follow french recipies, eat small portions, use your french cosmetic and put Hermes parfume as much as you wish BUT YOU CAN' T DRINK ANY GLASS OF WINE OR CHAMPAGNE..
Lilly - i think about AL - we can listen to others, look at others mistakes but we can learn only by "our mistakes, experiments, up and downs"..it' s not easy - to argue and convince yourself - the hardest conversation in the world!!! Keep going, don' t criticize yourself!!!
!

Audrey that made me laugh and is also excellent advice. I know, it's that illusion that is so hard to give up - the "lovely glass of red", the celebratory champagne, the elegant cocktail. But sadly for us that friend has turned on us and it will never be the same. My new mission now is to really focus on the positives of not drinking and the freedom and how they outweigh that fleeting 'glamour'. Not to mention, the distinctly UNglamorous side of life that drinking is for a true alcoholic.

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,
I am on Day 16 and feel like I conquered 2 pretty big hurdles that I was nervous about. I went to a friend's bday get together at a wine tasting restaurant. Thank God I had told a few friends that I am doing a big cleansing, detoxing diet program so I was drinking water. It was surprisingly not as difficult as I had pictured in my head. It was tight quarters so a few times I got big whiffs of the wine and that triggered cravings but I focused on conversations and the delicious tapas and that really helped. I cannot believe how much I used to focus on what my next glass will be and how I was pacing myself next to everyone else so I didn't look too drunk too quick.

This is the LONGEST I have gone since pregnancy and my kids are 12 and 15. That is SAD. I am concerned with the 4th and also a week at the beach. That is automatic drink in hand from noon til midnight and is perfectly acceptable. (used to be) This will be extremely difficult for this long period of time. I am very nervous . I know if I screw up you all will be there and will understand because many of you have been there as I have a million times.

I have been journaling my thoughts a lot and it is helping with my depression and going to spin classes daily. My husband has been unemployed since Dec so this greatly contributes to my anxiety level, fear and stress. At least I'm not blowing tons of cash each trip to the store on wine. That is about the only bonus.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Litre2;1344900 wrote: LibraryGirl, if I am welcome after bouncing on and off so are you. It is too bad you felt some less welcome.
Congrats on you being AF since Fri, I am only Sunday, but I feel better this time than the last. You are in a good position for not having any desire, I do, but it does not last that long. I do not know about you, but while I was drinking I had very restless sleeping patterns, and I guess I have to train my system to grow out of those, for I still do. Mind you, last night was Canada Day and the neighbours were setting firecrackers off till close to midnite. So maybe tonite I will sleep alittle better. Seems everytime I started to doze off, (BANG,ZING, BANG) I should l have just walked over there and watched.

Thank you Litre. I have been 47 days AF, well was until Fri. and I didn't overdo it, so I am still sleeping well. Or, I should be, but occasionally some things do interfere but luckily it's not AL anymore. I think doing without AL for that long, for me (hasn't worked for others), helped with not wanting to continue drinking. Plus I was 39 days AF before that, with only 3 drinking days, and no overdoing it. I want to continue to put long dry spells between drinking, and maybe I will give it up completely. I do know that the last time made me queasy and I wonder if I have an intolerance for AL now.

Thanks, Lily. I'm glad I've not offended you. I certainly didn't intend to do so. I believe a lot of people thought I was being very selfish and cocky, and maybe I was. It only takes once to be humbled and I know that. I am trying to be strong.

LG

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Very rough evening this way. Major hits on money, teenager, mother, etc. Super hard to hang in there. Force fields are all the way up but not sure they can hold. Looking to get past it somehow. So tired of stress in life. Trying to be ok with it.

[pixie]

Newbies Nest

Hey Gdog. Drinking doesn't take the stress away - it just delays it a little, while creating another bunch of problems on top (hangovers, for one).

Set your force fields on maximum diversion. (Ok that metaphor was pretty pathetic, but you probably know what I mean.)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

GDog....don't let anything or anyone derail you. You must be stronger than these tests...you can do it. Give it all you've got...it will pass in about 15 minutes...You will be so glad you did. Trust me. You can do this...B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Yes, I'm with Pixie...try to get in a Neutral Zone!!! I will be praying for your strength...B

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean, there are more positives [to not drinking] than just not spending money. It's the AB (addictive brain) telling you differently. You are learning to live a life without daily depressants and that's got to be a freeing feeling. Not to mention sleeping without passing out, clearer eyes, less bloat...I could go on. I'm sorry your hub is unemployed, and I know how stressful that must be, but at least you can think clearer now and maybe make some plans. Is he happier with you being AF?

Gdog, hang in there. Cravings will be defeated. They are no match for the force field. Have a treat that you don't normally allow yourself, and enjoy it. The small stuff does matter.

LG

OFF TOPIC: Can someone please explain to me how to find specific threads? I still can't figure it out after 4 months, lol. I tried "search" but it only finds key words. I must be missing something.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Library Girl, if people thought that, just realize that it's not about you, ultimately; it's about their own struggle. Like I said, I found one of your posts triggering but it didn't offend me as such as it's all my stuff - not yours. I can see how people struggling to accept their alcoholism might have found your normie post a bit hard to read, tbh, but I still don't think that means you were in the wrong for posting it. You are at a different place than others. But you're still here sharing and learning and that deserves respect IMHO.

Ah, Gdog, please hang in there mate. Distract yourself. Watch a movie. Have a bath. Go for a run. Whatever it takes to wrack up one more day. Keep going. I PROMISE you that at a week it will start to get easier! The booze is still exiting your system.

Butterbean, there are SO many upsides to not drinking besides saving money, although that is a huge one. One I just realized I forgot to add in to my below list that I posted in my thread on General to remind myself what's been so good about being (mostly) AF over June ...

I have lost 2 kilos (4.4 pounds). I have been eating really well and sleeping well. I have been exercising a lot. I have read six books. I have got more work accomplished. I have had lovely sober nights out with friends - even friends who were drinking. I have felt calmer, happier, clearer, more focused, more productive, more content. I felt the inklings of my self esteem and pride returning. I started Boot Camp in the Nest and have felt like a proud mother hen watching other Nesties join up. (And I felt sooo bad today and worried I would jinx the positive mojo going on over there with my fall.) My depression lifted. My anxiety eased. My insomnia vanished. I slept long, hard and deep. I felt at peace.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Library Girl, the key to finding threads is to apply the 'Advanced Search' functions judiciously. I struggled with this for awhile too. If you're still confused tell me what you're looking for and I can give you a step-by-step example.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

LG.....hey girl!!!!! Never, ever feel like you are not welcome here! I look forward to reading your posts and responding to them on a daily basis. When I come on here and see that you're on it's a comfort because you have been there since I started on the many journies to become AF. So don't think of going anywhere and consider yourself crazy glued to the nest! Ha!:l