Newbies Nest

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Lavande, I just feel wiped out today, I think the librium is still in me from last night and I didn't get any sleep. I just had some toast. My head feels heavy. Blah.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi everybody - Day 12 and yes I TTDP....

As to Lav - I have been focusing on what I wanted to do...that was in my Step 2 of the Plan - which I had - I had to white knuckle it to where I could do it...I put this on another thread but when I saw your question - I realized it made sense to answer you question with it here too.

Here's what I have planned:

Wednesdays I started going to a support group for me - so I have dinner/service/sharing - all on my own. So - I'm meeting people and getting out - away from kids, parents, family and SO - on my own. And that is helping. Even if it's about how bad things that happened in my life lead to some of these poor choices I've made - it's something that's just mine. And because of what it's about - I leave it feeling more understood, more healed, every week. So I will take it.

Getting better isn't going to be just about secular counseling, church support group, TTDP (taking the damn pill), or journaling...but everything together. This is a journey of many parts - but I promised myself that I was going to get better and create a life that the kids and I can rely on - and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Come Hell or Highwater.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Prarie...Yes that actually does sound like divine intervention. Things are lining up for you...the fact that you were 11 days on your own before the pill came, and that you were able to take it right away, and all the other steps you are taking for YOU. I tell you, it doesn't take very long to see a difference and you are living proof of that. This morning's post would have been TOTALLY different. I am so proud of you. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Stumpy! GREAT job on DAY 1! If you ask me, they don't get any harder than that...so you know you went the last 24 hours without drinking...rinse and repeat. You can do this!

Louis, I totally understand how you would like the longing for AL to stop. I must tell you that at over a year and a half, it still happens occasionally to me. I have to change the subject in my head when that happens. If I let it go, I call this going down the rabbit hole...you imagine how wonderful one drink is, and that you can do it, and not give it another thought....just one won't hurt! I try to cut off this thinking because this is the Voice of addiction. ONE drink WILL derail ALL of my work and efforts. I've seen people here go longer than I have and take that one drink and they haven't gotten back on track yet!! Other people have luck with thinking it all the way thru, but I don't....I change the subject in my head. I name off my cousins from youngest to oldest, I say The Lords Prayer...I think of what I had for lunch 2 days ago...just anything to get me out of that loop. I think some people are able to let go of things easier than others. I am not one of those...I ruminate. There is a person, Nelz, who is 6 months behind me, and his progress was about the same as mine, even though I had more time than he did. It takes different amounts of time ....we are all different in how we cope with things. All I know is, keep yourself AF and those thought come less often and not nearly as strong! It is a great day when the only time I think about AL is how to post on this forum. Getting thru an evening now without thinking about it is as natural now as putting on my socks. Time will help you a great deal....just keep it AF!!! You will never have 2 bad days in a row....so just hang in there if you do...if you don't like your life today, just wait 24 hours and then you will have a whole new perspective. Alcohol is a very devious opponent...the only way I know to defeat it is to not feed it.....with my thoughts OR my actions. You are doing GREAT!!

K9, stay out of those fags....ehehehe (cigarettes...gosh what a harsh term in the UK)...stay strong everyone...there are NO answers in the bottom of a bottle....trust me, I looked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love to all, Byrdie

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

I am walking this path - and I am not turning back. Not this time.

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

I'm here Lavande, I'm starting to feel alittle bit better. Do you know if there are any groups on here for just starting so I can have someone to count down with? A little support. I feel like a misfit right now lol

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Lavande, I hope I didn't offend you with my last post. I am getting so much help for many of you, I just feel like I am a burden right now.

Atta Girl Prairie Fairy. No turning back now!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

PF - sounds like you have a great plan - good for you

stumpy, you are not a burden, don't even think that!
The nest is exactly where you need to be right now. We have all had a day one, day two, whatever to get through. It's hard & we all know that!
The primary reason I continue to hang around is to try to offer some support, some ideas that helped me, etc. I am still grateful to those who held a hand out for me 3 1/2 years ago & I just want to pay it forward, so to speak

Byrdie, it's still so hot & humid here - I may as well be in NC :H

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lav, it's awful outside....it's only 91* but you can cut the humidity with a knife. My hair is like cotton candy!
Stumpy, if you read back a few days, we have folks that should be on days 3,4, and 5....I am hoping that they will check in...and because you are hanging tough, we will have some people who will come in right behind you. I think that's why we encourage YOU to post how you are feeling, so that someone else who is reading will know what to expect. AND, as I was reminded yesterday when Lolab posted one of my notes from DAY 5, it is a great way to remind yourself how far you've come. Lav is right, you are just exactly where you need to be....you are not a burden, you are the reason we stay...when I came here 2 and a half years ago, I was scared and didn't know how to get thru an hour without AL, this nest helped me find my way. We are glad you're here, and we will help you get thru this. Check in often...it really helps.
Stay strong everyone! Byrdie

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Thank you

Thank you Lav and BL, it really is helping me by hanging out here. I actually made it to the grocery store today, thanks to my husband driving me. It felt good to be out. I only hope that I can get a good night sleep tonight so I feel even better tomorrow. :thanks:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys! Posting from Phone ugh. Stumpy yes! There is a place here for those in the early stages and it's called the newbies best! You found us!:-)

Weekends tend to be strange here...not as many posts..I rh

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Oh good lord see? I stink at phone posting LOL!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

ah...yes - someone please remind me the next time I think I can whip out a fast post - from my phone - as I'm making dinner - that it's never good!! :H

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I won't even try to post from my phone Lola. I have a hard enough time on the iPad :H

Glad you got out for some fresh air stump

No rain yet here but my head says it's coming soon

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

we've been having an incredible end of summer weekend here...it's hot and sunny and I keep thinking how much more I'm "feeling" it than I ever did before...I'm not watching it all go by in a haze - just counting down the days in the week.

I was snuggling with one of my pups this AM and I thought about how we just got her a year and a half ago. it was Christmas time and I remember sitting inside and watching her in the back yard - worrying - she was so small - and could she find a way through our fence and escape. It upset me so much - but I pulled up a chair to the back doors and watched her....I was 46 years old with so much to live for but I was weary...I was so tired that I was trying to figure out how I could take care of this new puppy....and keep her safe. I didn't think I was up to it. I was tired of living. Tired of hiding stuff - tired of putting my feet on the floor every morning and trying to figure out how to go about another day in an alcohol fueled fog. But it seemed to be all that I knew how to do. How can that seem like such a huge wall??? We're all doing it - It's not as hopeless and impossible as it seemed at that time - and for so long before then.....

so while nobody appears to need a pep talk at the moment - my pup snuggling moment needed to be expressed anyway...and on the laptop - not the phone.:H

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Lav, the fresh air did me good. Came home and a nice steak veggie and potato and for the love me, can't understand why I'm still hungry lol hope AF don't make me gain weight. It feel like rain here in the Boston area as well.