Newbies Nest

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1392299 wrote:
A big hello to all my peeps here in the nest! I haven't been on in couple of weeks but I am proud to say that I am still AF and today is day 84 for me!!!!! I am still taking the AB and going to my AA meetings. I was faced this weekend with a "surprise" trip from my in-laws. My husband neglected...and I use that term loosely (ha)...to give me a heads up that they were thinking about stopping by our house on their way to PA. Most of you know...but for those that don't..I do NOT like these people...ugh!!!!! So I get a call on Friday night that they are in Georgia and that they would most likely get to my house on Saturday around 2 (they live in Florida). Normally I would've just figured that I was "drunk" when my husband told me about their visit and I would play it off as though I was fully aware of their arrival and totally perpared.....God forbid I admit that I was too drunk to remember the conversation! Ha! Instead I was fully aware that I was totally blind sided by this. I have always had my safety net...vodka...on the ready so I could numb my feelings about these people and put on a happy face. Now I was faced with dealing with the anticipation of their arrival, their actual arrival and not knowing when the hell they are leaving totally sober! I was like "Oh Sh*t"!!!!!!!! Since drinking is not an option while taking AB I had to dig deep...and I mean DEEP....to my very core and find ways to deal with this. After all..this is life and it's not always going to be rainbows, lollipops and unicorns. It was tough but I used all of my tools that I have been learning and I did it! They left about an hour ago and I am sitting here and I am sooooooooooooooooo happy and proud of myself that I succeeded. This was obviously a test that was thrown my way and I passed it with flying colors! Friday night I was feeling weak and vulnerable and right now I am feeling strong and confident! I am getting closer to the light at the end of my tunnel and I am totally loving being AF! Sorry if I rambled, but I wanted to share this experience with you...hopefully it can help someone else here!:h

OMG DEST!

I was just searching for your posts yesterday to see where you were and the last time you posted. I think it was around Oct. 4th.
I'm so glad your back and WOW 84 days!! That's a huge number. Way to go :goodjob: That should say Great job.
I can so relate to having to deal with situations (especially crappy ones) without a drink in hand. YOu may have read about my son's predicament and while I wouldn't have been drinking during actual meetings at school you can bet your horses I would have been heading to the Rum & Tonics that night.

Last night I went to a party at a friends and while there was some light drinking going on and it would have been dead easy to pour myself a glass of wine, I really just found myself enjoying the conversation and meeting some knew people...and of course not making a complete ass of myself. That was a keeper! And this morning..Voila...No hangover.

So I'm so proud of you for staying the course. Doesn't it feel just so great to go through it in a way without Al? It's alost a high in and of itself !

Tell me though...Did your in-laws look any better sober :H

Glad your back, baby:h
:l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Almost free....hang on so that you get your full moon from Allan tomorrow! I know it feels like you are hanging on by a twig, but you ARE hanging on! Every single day you put between you and AL makes you stronger!

What you are having is the Pity Party! Everyone else can drink except me....why can other people drink one or two and not give it another thought? I will just drink this one more time and that will be it. And the one that almost got me...What do I owe these people, they don't know my situation...MY situation is different. Maybe my problem ISN'T all that bad! Here's where Lav comes in. You aren't being deprived of AL, you are choosing to get it out of your life because it is killing you. This IS your choice. Try to be grateful that you have 2 good arms and 2 good legs and a sound mind. You have a roof over your head...try to be grateful for this beautiful day that you are alive and feeling these things instead of confined to a wheelchair on a ventalator...set yourself on a task to help someone else. Call a nursing home and see if you can take your dog by to visit ....many of those people don't see a friendly face for weeks on end. What do THEY have to look forward to?

Everyone else is NOT drinking. Everyone DOES have problems... Everyone else is not just walking around smiling. This is a phase in the process...sorry, I should have warned you...it typically comes after Day 13 and before D30...you are early!! Don't fall for it...it's a trick.

You are in charge! Go find some happiness (um, NOT in liquid form). I hope this helps...but you are getting stronger every day...just go back and read your posts from a week ago....

You are not alone...Where are you located? Just trying to picture where you are...one day we will all learn to post pictures. I don't know what a picture bucket is???

I believe in you.... try to take the emphasis OFF what you can't have and concentrate on what you CAN have! (which is anything else). Go have some LUNCH!!!! Bah!!!
Stay on here if you have to.....all you gotta do is get thru THIS day! B

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,
After 9 months sober as of today, I am fighting hard while I deal with "findings" from my recent mammogram. The only thing keeping me from the vodka is the Xanax that i have, and that won't last forever. Waiting for results of one biopsy and then an MRI this week is killing me. Well meaning friends have told me to "have a glass of wine" to relax, but they have no idea where that will send me.

The week ahead seems unsurmountable. I can hardly look at my kids without crying because of the healthy years I wasted with them drinking. Is it the AL that caused the issues? Cuz if it is i will never forgive myself.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Allan just broke 7:30 mile. Yeaha 7m28seconds.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Belle Girl....try not to jump to the worst conclusion. I had a bad mammo and it's because the tests are more sensitive now and they pick up things that used to, went unnoticed. Drinking is NOT going to make anything better ...only worse! It won't do anything but take you down that rabbit hole. There is nothing good down there.
Try to not borrow trouble. Please don't dwell on it until someone tells you to. DO NOT have a glass of wine...go have a wonderful cookie. Or a bubble bath. Dig your heels in and don't give in no matter what and no matter who!

Hang in....you can do this!!! B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan...was that on foot or on the trolly? ehehe....Well done!

Belle Girl...I was just talking to Sunshinedaisies YESTERDAY about this...she has had a doulble mast....and has been in this waiting room that you are in now...maybe you can leave her a PM and talk to her. Unfortunately, hers was the worst case scenario, but you should see her now...strong and resolute.

Please keep us posted....
Praying hard for your strength...B

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie LOL.

I am referring to the time it takes to run 1 mile. My time today is 7 minutes 28 seconds.

I have recently started running as I could not do it before due to smoking.

I was expecting to drop a lot of weight after giving up AL. However, the scales did not want to cooperate. Weird! So I added a lot of Cardio interval training. And have been losing a constant 1.5lb a week since.

ALLAN

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan, I know what you were referring to...I was just messing with you!! Gosh, you are a different man than you were 6 weeks ago....just amazing! I'm so proud of you! :schmokin: B

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

BelleGirl -

Love to you. Having a drink won't help. Because today won't take just one. And the kids will see you. And think this is what we do when we hit a hard time that feels too much. We drink it away.

I only just realized how much of that they were internalizing when they were little. I had a terrible last few days. And my son said last night - shouldn't we be going to the store and getting you some wine?

I said - No - when was the last time you saw me drinking? He looked at me puzzled. He said - I really don't remember. You haven't been have you?

I said no.

He said - WOW MOM - you haven't been drinking. That's AWESOME. I didn't even realize it but you really haven't been drinking. And then he looked at me MAD - and said - BUT YOU USED TO!!!!!!

I said I did. But I don't anymore.

BelleGirl. Love you. You can get through today.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

And Allan - congratulations! That's a huge accomplishment! BRAVO!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie. The way I look at it, the more I have to lose the less likely I will relapse in the future.

After 30 days I felt like the goal has been achieved and I had nothing to look forward to. That is probably why I felt so low a week or two ago. Now I have new goals that are only achievable if I abstain from alcohol.

This is actually a good advice to newbies who are about to break through the 30 days target. Many will feel a little down right after day 30, as I and many others on this forum did. So when you get there, sit down re-evaluate your life and create new goals. Fitness, new and better relationships and financial health are some of my new goals. What are yours?

ALLAN

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

I'm happy to report in briefly that I'm still doing well, with just over 5 months AF, and nearly a month NF. Allan - congrats on the mile. I, too, thought the weight would fall off after I quit drinking but lo and behold, no. So now begins phase III in the miracle year of transformation - getting off my ass and getting moving again.

Right, though, my roadblock (it's just an excuse - I realize that, big time) is the new iPad my SO bought me as a belated bday present (but no complaints, he came through on a promise!). I'm completely obsessed. But it also feels healthy to be obsessed about that vs. alcohol. Which I barely think about. Amazing. We went to a little party last night, wine there, of course. Just not an issue.

So for anyone still struggling to quit and stay quit, you can get through it, even if you don't think you can. Draw a line in the concrete instead of the sand. If you don't know my story, I was near-suicide, completely isolated, drinking at least two bottles of wine a day, including at work. I found a local clinic that does Dr. supervised outpatient detox -- and here I am. That's the short version, anyway.

Choose to be hopeful, to believe the best. Maybe quitting/staying sober won't be nearly as impossible as you think; it wasn't for me. I'm so glad I'm where I am now. There is light.

XoXoXo Enjoy the rest of the weekend and have a good week, everyone.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1392362 wrote: BelleGirl -

Love to you. Having a drink won't help. Because today won't take just one. And the kids will see you. And think this is what we do when we hit a hard time that feels too much. We drink it away.

I only just realized how much of that they were internalizing when they were little. I had a terrible last few days. And my son said last night - shouldn't we be going to the store and getting you some wine?

I said - No - when was the last time you saw me drinking? He looked at me puzzled. He said - I really don't remember. You haven't been have you?

I said no.

He said - WOW MOM - you haven't been drinking. That's AWESOME. I didn't even realize it but you really haven't been drinking. And then he looked at me MAD - and said - BUT YOU USED TO!!!!!!

I said I did. But I don't anymore.

BelleGirl. Love you. You can get through today.

Prairie, how old was your son when he connected these dots? My son is 18 and I wonder what his impressions of his mom are. I was sober up until he was 10 but drinking when he was 10-17 so I'm sure he has lots of memories that I maybe don't remember. Definitely one I do remember was swerving when I was drunk driving him home from an amusement park. Not pretty. Oh, and the time I had a seizure and passed out while driving while unknowingly going through xanex withdrawal. Again, not exactly pretty. At least for the past three years I've been sober when he's seen me, if not consistently through those years. It's my hope and one of my guiding desires that he - and my SO and my family - never see me that way ever again.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

akaMonique;1392370 wrote: I'm happy to report in briefly that I'm still doing well, with just over 5 months AF, and nearly a month NF. Allan - congrats on the mile. I, too, thought the weight would fall off after I quit drinking but lo and behold, no. So now begins phase III in the miracle year of transformation - getting off my ass and getting moving again.

Right, though, my roadblock (it's just an excuse - I realize that, big time) is the new iPad my SO bought me as a belated bday present (but no complaints, he came through on a promise!). I'm completely obsessed. But it also feels healthy to be obsessed about that vs. alcohol. Which I barely think about. Amazing. We went to a little party last night, wine there, of course. Just not an issue.

So for anyone still struggling to quit and stay quit, you can get through it, even if you don't think you can. Draw a line in the concrete instead of the sand. If you don't know my story, I was near-suicide, completely isolated, drinking at least two bottles of wine a day, including at work. I found a local clinic that does Dr. supervised outpatient detox -- and here I am. That's the short version, anyway.

Choose to be hopeful, to believe the best. Maybe quitting/staying sober won't be nearly as impossible as you think; it wasn't for me. I'm so glad I'm where I am now. There is light.

XoXoXo Enjoy the rest of the weekend and have a good week, everyone.

Hi Monique:

Nice to see you again!:l

My Husband also bought me an Ipad for my Bday and my kids are always saying, 'Mom! get off the Ipad. You're obsessed!!'

I kid you not But I'm usually on it reading and posting here so...

I also went to a party last night (weird, huh?) and like you there was wine and beer but no biggie. Just sat by the fire laughing at funny stories.

Oh, and I'm almost 5 months (with a slip or two..)

Feel less alone over here. Thanks!

:h

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

akaMonique;1392371 wrote: Prairie, how old was your son when he connected these dots? My son is 18 and I wonder what his impressions of his mom are. I was sober up until he was 10 but drinking when he was 10-17 so I'm sure he has lots of memories that I maybe don't remember. Definitely one I do remember was swerving when I was drunk driving him home from an amusement park. Not pretty. Oh, and the time I had a seizure and passed out while driving while unknowingly going through xanex withdrawal. Again, not exactly pretty. At least for the past three years I've been sober when he's seen me, if not consistently through those years. It's my hope and one of my guiding desires that he - and my SO and my family - never see me that way ever again.

He is 9 now, almost 10....realized when he was gathering adults drink orders and asking with rather an unusual level of focus each of my friends why they had a specific preference in AL, and then he would remember...so at one of my last pizza party he was asking people would you like an RC/bourbon or just a beer? And kept playing waiter by watching their beers (I don't and haven't ever had beer but his Dad did? Maybe something he did with Dad when I wasn't around? I don't know) but he would monitor beer bottles, ask if they wanted another and pop a top/fetch them a cold one...

He never offerered on the wine - I kept that well out of reach...he would have needed a 5 ft ladder.

Anyway - he was absorbing more than I was giving him credit for.