Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gwawky Mae, Nesters!
Catching up this morning on all fronts....laundry...MWO, and work! Wow, what a week to miss, lots going on!
Lovely, as wonderful as this site is, it is no substitute for professional help when you need it. I'm so glad you are getting it! Your whole family deserves freedom from addiction! We'll be right here when you get yourself sorted.
Londoner...I worry that it is too soon to be out amongst drinking friends. This is hard enough on a good day, but throw in sports and preholiday revelry and it just may be too much. If you are of 2 minds as it relates to AL, go back and read your posts from a week ago. Please give yourself time to succeed! We are not Mother Theresa! We yield to temptation! It is so early and your quit so fragile. Protect it with all you've got. Your friends will be there in 2 weeks when there is another game. Just my 2 cents. I do know how it is when you have 2 minds. The one that involves AL usually wins unless we enact countermeasures. Set yourself up to WIN!
Dottie, the stores are already crazy!! I had to get a new clothes hamper at Bed, Bath, and Barf and it was PACKED!!
NoSugar has talked me out of doing my turkey's today. I have 3 breasts I've got to do and my crock pot is only big enough for 2. I will wait until later in the week, but I will go ahead and do my stuffing and freeze it. Lots to do today!!
So good to see everyone checking in! It's all about engaging in a community of like minded people and being accountable! Hugs to all this busy Sattidy!!! Byrdie

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Hi Willow, Lifechange and all,
I'm in the Pacific time zone. Since I got up at 4 am yesterday, I decided to sleep in until 8:30 today so didn't have my coffee until after I had tidied the kitchen and taken the dogs out.

Sounds like some of you have the same idea for tonight that I do, bed and a book. I'm reading a 1,400 page extravaganza called A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth. It's a sprawling, rollicking story so far, with lots of interesting characters, just what I need right now to take my mind off things immediate to me, myself, and I.

As for what I'm knitting, I'm not sure since I haven't started yet. I have lots of free patterns from Ravelry so I'll let you know when I've figured it out!

Take care, all.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

We're going to study Thanksgiving this week. I love teaching the kids all different things from around the world, not just what is within the UK culture. Roll on Black Friday too - DH is planning on buying an iPad and he WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Humble, I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoys a good book! Where's the Pacific time zone?! It's 8pm here in the UK.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Pooter is fixed...thanks to Dave for the tech support. I had forgotten about the programs he mentioned.
So I am in a much better mood...

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Oh Humble, I loved A Suitable Boy! I was devastated to hear he had to return his advance for not submitting a follow-up/complementary MS to Boy on time.
Beautiful avatar, too

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. I'm a bit behind on posts, but I did want to send prayers to Love. I'll be thinking of you.

DTD - great post. I let AL whisper all his seductive lies in my ear recently, and oh boy - was that a mistake. He's no friend of mine.

Humble - we haven't met yet, so just wanted to say welcome and hi.

And Dave - may the force be with you

Had a good day. Spent it with my non-drinking sister-in-law. She quit almost 20 years ago, but has never been judgmental of me. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I told her about my recent fall, and she was so understanding. She told me it took her a while to get to her good place. I feel so hopeful right now.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

I have not caught up with the thread but felt like I needed to put some thoughts out here before I do. I am only caught up to page 4354... and not sure I even made it all the way through there.

I had just written to Lovely a few days ago on the NEWBIE NEST THREAD about not being judged or belittled or degraded here. How she is safe here ...blah blah blah... HA! Eat my words.
I agree, there is a lot of support "talk" but only if you conform and ACT all chipper. It's crap. Trying to be sober isn't all one mood nor are we all one personality type.

I have read many, many posts on here that are surely written by a drunk or tipsy person. Sometimes I shake my head and think - WOW, I can't even read that and sometimes I choose to think English is the 2nd or 3rd language for the person posting. I do not condemn them. It would be AMAZING if every drunkard came here SOBER!! Wouldn't it?

The bad part about all this in my mind is, these bullying people chose to bully just after she said she had things set up. That's just mean. She had made progress from what any of us KNOW, we can't be sure but from her words she had made progress. I believe that the posters that ganged up on her did not even attempt to read her posts and may actually lack "compassion". Always a great personality trait on a support board!

From how I read her post of 3 1/2 bottles, most of that took place after her son was in bed. I do have to wonder if any of the posters that were hurtful to her were drinking at the time of their posts, some of them are still drinkers and TALK plenty about drinking on other threads. There are not breathalyzers on our keyboards.

WHOMEVER has said to me "IF you are really her friend" Let me start with- HOW dare you... that's also crap trying to shove that responsibility off on anyone.

As for trolling- While I do understand some people may find entertainment in trolling and have even witnessed posters on support sites seeking money after their tales of woes, I do not fall for it myself, never have. If it's trolling for entertainment, I would suggest ALL of us make sure we don't devote more than we are willing to, to anyone, not just 'suspected' trolls.

I am going to drop this topic(after my next post, after I catch up with the thread) but I will NEVER EVER TELL ANOTHER NEWBIE they are safe here. If the requirements are to come here sober, the site wouldn't need to exist. And Please, check yourselves... I am sure 90+% of you have written while buzzed.

My keyboard is also wearing out. I have problems with keys sticking and problems with the space bar. So, I have had to correct more mistakes than I would normally because I would hate for anyone to think I am posting while buzzed. That doesn't mean I would never come here buzzed. I would... I didn't think a sobriety support site could possibly be for sober people only. (Have I said that enough?lol)
I have been watching many, many subtitled movies and shows, it's a great distraction. One that makes sure you can't look away from the screen.

Going to try to catch up now.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Had to skim the last 6 pages.

Willow, you are just so much like I used to be. It's all about the kids! I did kick-boxing while my kids were young. I found a place that did kids karate at the same time as a moms kickboxing class. I loved it. Ask around if if some of the karate places don't offer it, one my start it and owe you to thanks for getting it going.

Londoner, glad you aren't ignoring your friends. I see this drinking and drug issue more than one way. The friends that don't try to egg you on too much are great friends but you also have to remember, YOU were their friend too, they could be loosing a friend if you don't stick it out, keep the friendship going. You may also be a good influence from time to time for one or more of them to slow down... that's always a good thing! "I'm going out in shorts and tshirt tonight with no money or ID, so absolutely no way I can go out to a pub or club. I won't drink round my friends either." This made me laugh... ALMOST like I am going NAKED!!! I can't go to a bar! lol lol

Mossrock- it's so great to read about someone that hasn't drank in 20 years! It's so depressing to to think of the stats out there for 'success'. I modified my own success because of those.

All... have a good weekend. I hope you make your goals. I am glad Lovely did check in and came back. She is doing exactly what she said she would 3-4 days ago. I think she may be far to optimistic... I am sending her cautious messages on that. Detox is by far a cure all, immediate fix.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Isty - I absolutely do not believe that Lovely was a troll. I think she is a young women who is in serious trouble. She reached out to me too. That would be a bit weird for someone just looking for attention. So, I am glad that she is seeking help. But her posts were becoming a bit unsettling to many of us. It's not that we don't care. We care very much. That may be the answer right there. We all are rooting for her and her son.

But, while I'm on an honestly roll, I will admit that another newbie told me yesterday on IM that she won't be back because she felt that she had been "beaten up in the nest." I went back and re-read all of her posts and our posts and realized that there was nothing out of the ordinary. We were just doing what we do - offering advice, support and tough love. However, I had an epiphany. We don't always know the mental state someone is in when they come here for help. In the future, I will be much more careful with what I say.

I love MWO. I love the people here. I love the nest. I don't the answer.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello to All,

I am returning to Newbies Nest after a bit of a break. I have not had a chance to read back. I am happy to be here with all of you. I am very happy to be home.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Tess. I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Glad you are here.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest



MossRoss, I have to be honest, I don't recall anything you might have said that could be taken badly. I was over-whelmed with just the few posts I could get through in the past 12 days.

I did push Lovely to not leave the site. She came back. That shows strength I didn't know she had I am happy about that. I do not believe she is a troll either and she has certainly never asked me for anything. I think she was probably just so thrilled to feel safe and have connections she didn't know were possible that she was more open than most and also more hopeful than she was prior to finding this site.

Thanks for posting to me. I appreciate connections and communicating too.

I highly recommend subtitle movies/show to fill some of our time! It may make my ass spread but I am occupied.


Tess- how many AF days?

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Night folks. Onto day 7 tomorrow!

I didn't read my book in the end - we watched The Walking Dead, then Monster Squad (a bit like The Goonies but with monsters). Good stuff, but feeling tired now.

Moss - that's a shame that someone didn't feel comfortable enough to come back again. I can understand it though - even well meaning advice can be taken out of context because there's no tone in reading posts.

Busy day tomorrow - the usual piles of laundry, then a trip to the laundrette to get it dried. A trip to the tip to recycle some stuff and then a major house clean/tidy as the estate agent is coming Monday morning to take photos and get it live on the website. And plan lessons. And entertain the kids. Better than being bored though!

Night all x

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

istym4me;1589276 wrote:

I did push Lovely to not leave the site. She came back.

Me too. I told her to come back and post that she was going to rehab today, to prove that she was serious. I'm glad she's taken that step and I hope wherever she is tonight that she's doing ok.