Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well, it's snowing, just as predicted :H
Will we really get up to 14"? I sure as hell hope not :H

Rahul, self-loathing is non-productive, a waste of time/ Get back on your sober plan & get a few AF days under your belt. You will feel much better, I promise

I hope everyone has a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

I'm doing a check in here. I have been posting on other threads lately and keeping busy at home. Glad to see Rahul back. Hang in there and get some af time in. You will feel better.
I agree with no sugar, today is the perfect day to start. There will never be a better time.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Well hello! Been busy, tired and just slacking on posting lately. I'll read back in a minute. But let me say today is .....

DAY 60!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it. It can be done. I learn something new everyday but being AF isn't hard it's just a choice you have to make and not give one inch to the part if you that thinks you can .... I have been having a little more mind chatter going on lately bc of stress but I just feel so damn much better I can't imagine messing it up now. Thanks to MWO and all you great peeps especially the Oldtimers who always have great advice

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for sharing your great news, Ican! Don't be a stranger :l.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

I know NS I need to stay here and continue to post and read .... Just been so dang tired lately .

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thx Jane

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters

I must have lost the Sleep Fairy somewhere along the way - been awake for hours :upset:

Help yourself to coffee!



Ican, well done on your 60 days! I know that you've really struggled at times, but how wonderful that you've persevered - being sober is worth every little bit of energy that goes into getting there. Have you tried Vit B 12 shots for tiredness? Burns like anything, but they really work.

Casting my vote with LB, Jane, NoS and all the others for Do it now in terms of getting sober.

Hyper, glad to see that you're back to posting. You know, I never truly believed the oldies when they talked about how good it feels to be sober - it's something that I had to experience. Keep that feel-good 30 days feeling foremost for the next few days - you'll soon feel that way again.

Rahul, hating yourself won't accomplish anything - but it's amazing what sober does to the self-esteem. Reread your posts about your Al-free holiday - you can have that amazing feeling back again. Yes, it takes work, just as getting through a hangover takes work. the difference is, being AF gives you the chance to really look forward to your life, while the other one only invites the GSR brothers into your life - and they're not nice house guests. Take it one day at a time - that's all you have to do.

Lost, when in doubt - don't. :l:l There will be other times and other opportunities when you feel more confident about doing things AF.

It's light enough for me to see what the weather is like - cloudy, for a change. A bit of rain would be very welcome!

Have a lovely AF day, all you wonderful people. Just get through this one day without Al. I know that I won't ever drink again, but even so, I can only accomplish that one day at a time.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all:

Way to go, Ican! I've been feeling a bit blah, too. I'm wondering if is just a part of the process, as I have read. The giddy feeling of Yahoo, I'm sober! giving way to the perpetual ups and downs of life. I feel like I'm experiencing all of my feelings at once - all that I had kept at bay with alcohol. This makes sense to me - I spent so much of my focus on getting sober, that now with several weeks in (73 days to be exact) all of the other stuff is coming to the surface.

I'm going to focus on gratitude, mindfulness, meditation and exercise, and above all I'm not going to drift away from MWO. That sounds tempting - to not focus so much on alcohol, but I have read enough about rehab to know that participation in a sober community is key to staying sober. That, AND I like all of my new found friends here.

Sorry you weren't sleeping, Dreamy - I like the mugs, thought (where's LC with my eggs?)

I'll pipe in with the "There's no time like now" chorus - what are you waiting for? It was such a relief to finally take the angst and decision off the plate!

I am all over the map here tonight. Jane, I appreciate your posts - a lot of thinking goes into them. LostSoul - Ava gives good advice. Both of my sisters separated in the last year and are in the dating scene again - just the thought of it causes me anxiety. Good luck with your AA meeting - I hope it is what you want and need.

OK - off to bed. This weekend is a three day-weekend in the US - lots of opportunity to find an excuse to drink. Instead, I will find every excuse possible to celebrate the positive things sobriety has brought me: More attention for my kids and husband; much better sleep; 5 lbs lost in spite of more eating; less anxiety; more confidence.

Good night, Nest!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Morning Pav! I call those blah feelings the What nows? We struggled to get sober, and focussed most of our energy and attention on that. We start feeling so much better, and then suddenly have to deal with life sober. Yes, being sober is awesome - but life is still life, and not always easy. Since so many of our problems were caused by Al, I think many of us assumed that once Al is taken out of the equation, things will magically improve and all our problems will disappear. It's a difficult wake-up call, but many things are still the same - we still have to deal with people we may not particularly like, or still have to take out the rubbish bins, still get stuck in traffic, or still have to do the dishes and the ironing - put all your pet hates in here. They will not go away - and we suddenly find that we now have to deal with them sober - and we don't have a whole lot of experience dealing with things sober. I wonder if that doesn't lead many people to relapse: things have changed, but things are still the same, so why bother with not drinking, then.

Most of the problems or worries or things I didn't want to face before I became sober are still there - so What now? I thought all my problems were going to be solved by getting, staying and being sober. Sorry Dreamy, life's not like that.

For me, the answer was to stop running away from things, the way I did with booze, and face them square on: to deal with what I can deal with , to change what I can change, to accept the niggling things. Sober. No other way. It means learning things I should have learnt long ago, but avoided and numbed with Al, relearning things I'd forgotten somewhere along the way - behaving like a responsible adult. People who never hid behind booze have had a much longer time in in which to do so, but I'm on an intensive crash course, so to speak. I can deal with that. I'm sober.

Enjoy the rest of your Thudnesday!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

TJAF;1626015 wrote: Sarah
The fact that you are posting here is a good start but you are fooling yourself if you think that drinking 11 units of Al and then popping a sleeping pill is a positive. Couple that with your sleeping pattern and no amount of yogurt and raspberry tea will offset the lifestyle. Please please please work on a plan. Life without Al is so much better. What you describe sounds so exhausting.

I have no idea what '11 units' means. i had 8 1/2 drinks in 11 hours. I took the sleeping pill to help me get back on a fairly normal sleeping pattern. I've done it in the past and I will do it again. I get what everyone is saying about quitting 'cold turkey' but sorry...I went to nursing school and I know what damage can be done to a body by doing that by someone who has abused their body as long as I have. That is why they have medically supervised 'detox' programs in rehabs.

Sorry that I 'thought' I was doing well by cutting down 'WHILE' devising my PLAN. (I'm new here and have lots to learn). I felt it a was pretty damn good start to cut down and get good teas and groceries in the house to help me 'fill myself up' so I wouldn't want alcohol and going to bed earlier to get my mind and body on a good biorhytem. Maybe it's best I don't post until I absolutely set the first target date of my first AF day? IDK...

I have not totally devised 'my plan' yet as I had to read thru 36 pages in the Toolbox AND research meds on here.

I took steps in admitting to my husband I had a problem and needed his support, that I need to get some foods in this house (regardless of calories) to get me full so I would be less inclined to fill up on empty calories and alcohol, and paid more attn to how much I was drinking and tapering down. The part about 'admitting' I had a problem was a pretty friggin big step IMO.

I apologize if my intrusion or 'my way' of working out this 'plan' for myself isn't sufficient for you guys/gals, but that is not going to stop me trying from getting where I want to be.

I'm pretty sure I will be perfectly aware if 'cutting down' doesn't work for me, and I'd have to take another approach.

That being said, I've had 5 'drinks' (no idea what units is) tonight, but after reading some of ya'lls responses, it is going to be difficult to not have more. However, I have a nice big salad in the fridge with roasted chicken on top to eat, and peppermint tea and rasberry tea and yes sleeping pills to get my thru the night.

Guess I'll let you guys know my plan for my 1st AF day when I get there.

-Sarah

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

sarah

while admitting we have a problem is the first step, i think it is a hard one to start to act upon.

you are sorting out a plan, good.
you are reading this forum, good.

emotions will be all over the place, what you are contemplating is a major life change, for the better. dare i say it, we get thin skinned. dont drink at us, its a waste of energy.

you are not intruding, you are working it out.

11 units? 8 drinks? what drinks are you having? saying 'drinks' means nothing. a unit is the measurement of alcohol. it says on the bottle depending where you come from.

im glad you told your husband, is he a 'normal' drinker? does he understand the support he needs to give you?

if this doesnt make sense, its because ive just got up (making my excuses early)

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

DTD, you hit the nail on the head with the "What Now" feelings. I think that is why I've had a few of my relapses... I expect that not drinking will make my life soooo much better that I won't have to deal with the issues that led me to drinking in the first place. And I did not have a good enough plan in place to avoid the AL and when the "What Now" feelings crept in, I was not strong enough to resist and ended up making bad decisions.

Sarah, reading your last post made me very sad. I'm sorry that you are going through such an emotional time right now. But please stick around and don't feel judged. No one here is judging you, everyone is trying to help in their own way. We've all been through the clutches of AL so we all understand. The wonderful people here at MWO have helped me through plenty of Day 1s and I truly would not know where I would be without them. I agree with Roxanne that at this point you skin might be a bit thin and some people may sound harsh, I went through the same exact emotions at one point. But soon I realized that there is so much truth to what they are saying, and as soon as I accepted this truth, the easier it is to move forward. I wish you much love and strength today.

I wish everyone in the Nest much love and strength today. I'm happy to be here and grateful for you all. :l

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters

Well Pav i read your post and thought WOW that is what i am so going through now also. The "what nows". Yes i'm sober, i'm content, i'm like "yep, yep yep". Life is going along just fine but what now? The worst thing imaginable to me now is drinking but there is that tiny thought of "well i have done it, i've done 74 days", woo hoo for me. What do i do now? I stay on here, i stay determined and i stay af. If i feel threatened by the thought of drinking i go straight to my support network which are my children. I think also now that the accolades of giving up al are gone. When i tell the kids it is "whatever" days they just smile and say "great". Great, its farking fantastic still, isnt it? I was leaving work today and imagined what i would feel like if i drank tonight and how i would feel tomorrow. The thought made me shudder of a hangover, it is terrifying and that is what keeps me strong and all of the support i get from here. So Pav as per usual, we try and outpost each other and we have the same feelings. These are huge days for us and everyday like Pav, i am soooo grateful for them, so this weekend is a rethink weekend on a plan for this shift of emotions that i am having. Life is great sober, never want to drink again and its just a stage like Day 1 that i have to experience and go through. So Newbies as you know some days are better than others but keep strong and on track and you cant go wrong.

Sarah there is no point in being angry with the people on MWO, be angry at al and what it has done to you. No point drinking AT us. I found drinking AT people on MWO from comments that were meant to support me, but my al brain thought they were out to get me, only hurt me in the end. No one on MWO has ever intentionally hurt anyone and if not for the support and guidance on here i would still be drinking. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and when someone, if anyone comments on my post i will take what i think is relevant on board.

We are all angry and lost when we come here and some of us make it and others dont. Grit, determination and hard work makes success. We can talk about giving up all we want but as i say to my children "actions speak louder than words".

Dream thank you for your post, it struck a cord with me and one that i will think about definitely.

Have a great one Nesters.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

roxane;1626394 wrote: sarah

while admitting we have a problem is the first step, i think it is a hard one to start to act upon.

you are sorting out a plan, good.
you are reading this forum, good.

emotions will be all over the place, what you are contemplating is a major life change, for the better. dare i say it, we get thin skinned. dont drink at us, its a waste of energy.

you are not intruding, you are working it out.

11 units? 8 drinks? what drinks are you having? saying 'drinks' means nothing. a unit is the measurement of alcohol. it says on the bottle depending where you come from.

im glad you told your husband, is he a 'normal' drinker? does he understand the support he needs to give you?

if this doesnt make sense, its because ive just got up (making my excuses early)

I'm sorry, units mean nothing to me. I'm in the US. A regular lite beer is 12 oz and 2 to 3 glasses of wine is about 5 oz each.

If you read earlier, my hubby is NOT a drinker. He might have 3-5 drinks in a year. He is what we call a 'controlled drinker'. He is all on board with what I am trying to do. I don't do hard liquor nor care to. This to me is NOT an excuse, cause beer and wine can get u drunk too.

What bothers me is people don't 'HEAR' me. They think they do, but they don't understand the intricacies of an INFJ. I drink Probably cause ppl 99% of the time won't "get" me. That's a friggin hard life to live. When you make up 1 % of population and try to relate to others it's a hard hard road. And please, don't comment unless u understand and have read INFJ profiles.

And I will say this before I get berated by others..I need support in no matter how I choose to 'do this' and if you are going to help me than u need to be familiar with my INFJ (personality type) or it's not going to help. Period.

I already know this, which is why I'm choosing my 'own plan'. I joined this forum to get help on basic tools and support on my drinking problem. Here I am. Don't put me in your 'box' ...I won't fit.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

we hear you sarah.

sorry. im out.