Newbies Nest
Good Morning, Nesters!
So good to see everyone! Mick popping in! He writes the way he talks, I just love it!
Available, we are all jealous of your holiday....I've heard of them, and one of these days I'm going to take one! Moms will be moms.....
New Dreams, getting right back up on the sober wagon is what it's all about. Do I wish I had gotten it right on the first or even the 50th try? You bet I do! I'd have saved myself a TON of grief (and my hubs). If you can take something away from it then the lesson won't be lost. I'm sure for you (as it was for me) NOT worth what we gave up. It only takes a day or two to get your mojo back, so climb back up and get going, no time to waste! Hugs.
Jane, what an interesting question! I was hoping one of the others would get to this before I did!! Remember my hubs gave me ONE LAST chance, so I knew this one had to stick. So I sort of started out with that in mind....but thought as I went along, I might be able to reintroduce it, but I would worry about that later (the Scarlett O'Hara Approach). As each sober day passed, and I would read more and more posts here in the nest and over time, it just became abundantly apparent that AL and I had split for good. If I had seen one incidence of someone succeeding it might have been different, but to this day, I have not seen a single case....not one. Ever. I think once I hit 100 days in MY mind, at least, it was a permanent thing. I have heard that true acceptance for an addict doesn't come until about the 2 year mark. Hindsight is a wonderful gift....but I can say that at each milestone (100 days, 6 months, a year) I had pretty much accepted the NEVER thing....but at about 2 years is when I believed it to the core. AND, mercifully, the pull of it was gone! I think that's when a good solid hatred of it came in. There is a fine line between love and hate, as you know. After those 2 years, I really see AL for theToxic DRUG it is (to me). It is not appealing to me in any way. I have learned other coping skills and rewards for myself. It is an eye opening journey. At each stage of the way, deep down I knew that my relationship with AL was toxic, but I think FULL acceptance of NEVER came around 2 years. I don't say that to discourage anyone...but this is a process. We didn't get here overnight and it takes a while to get completely out of it. But 2 years compared to the 30 (and in particular, the last 10 I lost to AL) is a small chuck of time. It was a great investment, and I only wish I had done it sooner. I look down at the scars on my legs from falls and shaving accidents I had (looks like I shaved with a chain saw). I just cringe. Those are just the outward scars, there are many more on the inside that no one can see. The things I accepted so I could drink....just appalling now. But that's in the past, and I am only moving forward! Maybe you will get a shorter, better answer from Lav, Mick, NS and K9!!
Happy Friday, all! It's just another day, not a ticket to Boozeville! Stay strong, you'll never regret it!! Byrdie
Good Morning, Nesters!
So good to see everyone! Mick popping in! He writes the way he talks, I just love it!
Available, we are all jealous of your holiday....I've heard of them, and one of these days I'm going to take one! Moms will be moms.....
New Dreams, getting right back up on the sober wagon is what it's all about. Do I wish I had gotten it right on the first or even the 50th try? You bet I do! I'd have saved myself a TON of grief (and my hubs). If you can take something away from it then the lesson won't be lost. I'm sure for you (as it was for me) NOT worth what we gave up. It only takes a day or two to get your mojo back, so climb back up and get going, no time to waste! Hugs.
Jane, what an interesting question! I was hoping one of the others would get to this before I did!! Remember my hubs gave me ONE LAST chance, so I knew this one had to stick. So I sort of started out with that in mind....but thought as I went along, I might be able to reintroduce it, but I would worry about that later (the Scarlett O'Hara Approach). As each sober day passed, and I would read more and more posts here in the nest and over time, it just became abundantly apparent that AL and I had split for good. If I had seen one incidence of someone succeeding it might have been different, but to this day, I have not seen a single case....not one. Ever. I think once I hit 100 days in MY mind, at least, it was a permanent thing. I have heard that true acceptance for an addict doesn't come until about the 2 year mark. Hindsight is a wonderful gift....but I can say that at each milestone (100 days, 6 months, a year) I had pretty much accepted the NEVER thing....but at about 2 years is when I believed it to the core. AND, mercifully, the pull of it was gone! I think that's when a good solid hatred of it came in. There is a fine line between love and hate, as you know. After those 2 years, I really see AL for theToxic DRUG it is (to me). It is not appealing to me in any way. I have learned other coping skills and rewards for myself. It is an eye opening journey. At each stage of the way, deep down I knew that my relationship with AL was toxic, but I think FULL acceptance of NEVER came around 2 years. I don't say that to discourage anyone...but this is a process. We didn't get here overnight and it takes a while to get completely out of it. But 2 years compared to the 30 (and in particular, the last 10 I lost to AL) is a small chuck of time. It was a great investment, and I only wish I had done it sooner. I look down at the scars on my legs from falls and shaving accidents I had (looks like I shaved with a chain saw). I just cringe. Those are just the outward scars, there are many more on the inside that no one can see. The things I accepted so I could drink....just appalling now. But that's in the past, and I am only moving forward! Maybe you will get a shorter, better answer from Lav, Mick, NS and K9!!
Happy Friday, all! It's just another day, not a ticket to Boozeville! Stay strong, you'll never regret it!! Byrdie
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