Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mein,
Well I can sure identify with that one. There at the end, we were always fighting, and usually because I was drinking. I kept promising to control it, but I kept breaking those promises. This goes totally against the grain, too. I keep my word on things....I am the most dependable person I know, and yet when it came to AL, I could not do it. Keep your sobriety going and you will be pleasantly surprised at what else falls into place. I was on all kinds of meds and anti depressants and BP pills and was about to ask for the one to boost the AD! As it turned out, AL was to blame for all. Give yourself some time to heal, like Jane said in her acceptance speech, the first few weeks are not the best, but the rewards are priceless. You must give it time. In the interim, try and do things YOU enjoy! When we sit around and mope about what we can't have, it just makes it worse! Set yourself on a task....do something nice for someone else! It is amazing what this will do for your spirits. Everyone has her own gifts, see if you can share yours!! Can you read stories to little kids or old folks who can't see? Take your dog to visit shut ins? Write letters to people you haven't seen in years? Organize your photos or make copies and send them to the folks in it and let them know you are thinking of them? Get on a task, it will help! I hope you feel better soon!

Jane, what the hello was that creature???
XXOO, Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters,

I will be travelling again next week onwards to Bombay, Shanghai and Guangzhou. I am going on with a mission to erase old drinking memories in Bombay and in shanghai. But before that let me share some pics of my last sober trip in Sri Lanka. Once again an beautiful resort can are a trigger for AL but once you get offer it it's can be an ultimate way to feel free.

My post of here in toolbox ....https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-35-27556.html
Is from the same times I spent in srilanka

Here are the pictures : Srilanka Photos by rahulthesweet | Photobucket

Take care.

[Maria1967]

Newbies Nest

Hello All, just heading into my second weekend without AL. I am suffering from anxiety, my relationship with my boyfriend is very fragile at the moment. I did think alot about drinking and I was very focused on the pub and on the wine in the grocery shop. I've had a good meal, so I wont drink tonight.

If I could get rid of the anxiety and focus on improving my life it would be great, feeling stuck right now

[NomoreJim]

Newbies Nest

Maria the anxiety will gradually go away the longer you stay sober. I had a tremendous amount of anxiety after I quit so much that it made it hard to concentrate on anything. I stumbled through work the first couple of days and then got snowed in at home for three days. It got so bad that I was out shoveling snow in 25 mph winds and temps at -10f. I am now 157 days sober and honestly can't remember the last time that I had any problems with anxiety. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible go to bed every night exhausted. It helped me and still does.

[Dila]

Newbies Nest

Sarah,
Sorry I have not been around. The company announced the sale and did not honestly tell the employees what it means and people are so afraid of losing their jobs. As a VP I am told to be positive and tow the company line...it has been a horrible week! Hope you and juja are hanging in there.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Friday night and I am sober! Yay! About to have some dinner and then watch a movie. Early day tomorrow at work. Have a nice weekend everyone...I'm happy to report this is coming to the close of Day 2!

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Well done blonde!
My second sober Friday in a row, had a pretty s**t day at work, but I've had a big dinner and now I'm relaxing before bed.
Cherokeer, good luck tomorrow, check in soon as you can and let us know how you get on.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hang in, everyone! Just because its been a s*itty week doesnt give us a free pass to make it all worse with AL. Remember, AL is not a reward it is a punishment!!! Stay strong! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I haven't read back, but plan to get back on track tomorrow morning. I've had a few weeks where situations at work got me angry, stressed, and just not in a good place. I could feel myself going downhill for a little while, not even realizing that it was weakening my ability to protect my quit. Well, it finally clicked with me today that if you let these things fester inside long enough, don't post and let them go, a relapse could happen. I've read this so many times, and as it was happening to me, I wasn't aware of it, but then, like I said, it was as if somebody like Ava hit me on the damn head with a brick or Byrdie hit me in the head with a freaking wine bottle or something. It woke me up just like that, I i posted my thoughts and what's been going on, how keeping these crappy feelings inside yourself will only lead to a relapse for an alcoholic. So, I learned a great lesson here, and I luckily can continue my days AF without having gone back to day 1. I'm relieved that this site is here for me. And know this. Posting your thoughts not only helps you, it helps someone else. Encouraging someone else helps that person and helps yourself. Have a great night Nesters.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see so many brushing aside the shitty works days & the all the other stuff - it's just life & we do not have to choose to drink. AL doesn't improve anything or make it go away

I just spent 7 rip roaring hours watching my 3 & 5 year old grandsons & let me tell you, I am beat to hell :H Could I do anything like that if AL was still ruling my life? Absolutely not!!! What a shame it would be to miss all this fun & excitement - I am forever grateful

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! Keep yourselves occupied, be positive & remember your goals. Life gets much, much better

Lav

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Mind, I will definitely be checking in. Tonight was so hard and it made me sad. We were at the store tonight buying alcohol for the kayak trip tomorrow, well everyone but me. I'm sad that I'm a lame ass drunk who let alcohol take over. I can't drink at all not one drop. So as everyone is excitedly talking about their "trip drink" of choice. I'm loading the cases of flavored water, fruit, and cheese in the cart. I don't know why I feel like crying. I just do and that's weird because I'm not a crier. Well tonight I guess I'm a crybaby. Oh well I got myself in the hole it's up to me to pull myself out of it. Sad, mad, glad or happy. I guess it's the process.

No Sugar and Lab, thanks day 9 and staying strong. I'm smiling through my tears. I didn't buy wine for tonight and none for tomorrow. Flavored water for me.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Mind, I will definitely be checking in. Tonight was so hard and it made me sad. We were at the store tonight buying alcohol for the kayak trip tomorrow, well everyone but me. I'm sad that I'm a lame ass drunk who let alcohol take over. I can't drink at all not one drop. So as everyone is excitedly talking about their "trip drink" of choice. I'm loading the cases of flavored water, fruit, and cheese in the cart. I don't know why I feel like crying. I just do and that's weird because I'm not a crier. Well tonight I guess I'm a crybaby. Oh well I got myself in the hole it's up to me to pull myself out of it. Sad, mad, glad or happy. I guess it's the process.

No Sugar and Lab, thanks day 9 and staying strong. I'm smiling through my tears. I didn't buy wine for tonight and none for tomorrow. Flavored water for me.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1668704 wrote: Morning, Wags!
I used AL as a social crutch, too. I am in sales, and while it may be hard to believe, I am very shy. Using AL to 'loosen up' was my go-to solution! Here is what I have learned looking in the rear-view mirror. AL is THE BIG LIE. If you could put up a hidden camera and look at yourself after a couple drinks, I bet you would be APPALLED! What AL makes us think is CHARM and WIT is actually obnoxious behavior!! I tell you, the YOU you thought AL brought out is still in there! Only NOW, it is socially appropriate! I cringe at what I did at social outings....UGG!!! Hell, now I just ACT drunk! If everyone else is talking loud, I crank it up, too! It's still 1000 times better than actually BEING drunk! It will prolly be awkward your first few times...but like any other SKILL, it will improve the more you do it. Now I am just as comfortable as I EVER was drinking....more so! I don't lose control now! It is amazing freedom....you will get your confidence!! The social you is in there just begging to get out!!! We believe in you!!

Hope everyone has a great Friday! Byrdie

Thanks so much Byrdie - I really appreciate your kindness and support. The funny thing is, I never used to be shy or have any reservations about being social, and I wasn't drinking at all during that time. Then I went through a series of really rough events over a period of a few years and lost a lot of "friends" in the process. Actually, no, I really just found out who my true friends really were, and we are still solid. But I think you're right - it will get easier with time, and the first time sober will probably be the hardest.

I've decided to go for sure. I might not stay the whole time, but just going and hanging out for an hour or so will be a step forward. If all goes well, I'll stay longer.

I look forward to reporting back here tomorrow eve or Sun with good news.

[wagmore]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1668753 wrote: Well, it's evening here in Germany, and the start of a three day weekend. Hubs is at the golf course, where he usually is every evening. It's really lonely here in the house. Just feeling sad and crying. I don't have the desire to do anything, not even drink. These feelings just suck.

MS - sorry you're feeling so down. My first thought is, it's ok to be sad and crying. It might not be comfortable, but it's very human. I know, easy for me to say, and honestly I don't like to feel sad - one of my big triggers for drinking was uncomfortable feelings, and I'd drink to avoid or escape them.

Having said that, if you really don't want to be sad and crying, what are some other things that you enjoy? Music, taking a walk, reading a book? Calling or emailing a friend? You started off today talking about the sunshine and positive thoughts. Can you get yourself back into that mental space?

[Orimus]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer,
Someone had posted a write up in the toolbox about the deprivation thinking we go through giving up AL. Maybe taking a gander will dry some of those tears or print it out to bring along.