Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Checking in on my 8 month sober anniversary! That's two thirds of a year. Pretty amazing feeling, I must admit.

Ava - Happy birthday to your son - glad you could be there, have fun, and be an example that you don't have to drink to have fun and party. That voice will always be there for us saying "drink," but it gets softer and less powerful.

Chero - Glad to hear you feeling strong and powerful. Sorry your DH is a trigger. For sure being sober uncovered some things my husband and I weren't dealing with. It has been good to start dealing with the real stuff.

Ginger - Way to go on 90 days! Do you have a speech for us? How did you do it? Any advice for newbies just getting started?

Ja - Good information about the depression. Whatever the other things are, they are much easier to contemplate and deal with when we're not drinking.

I'm off to get my kid ready to go to camp for a couple of weeks. Happy to be rested and feel good to help him get organized.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pavati,
Congratulations on your 8 months!!!
:crazymonkey:

Here's to getting that crazy monkey off your back!!! It has been so gratifing watching your growth and understanding of this thing we all share. Thank you for continuing to stay in the Newbie's Nest to share your knowledge! Your gentle and thoughtful posts are all just golden! We are all so proud of you, and so thankful as well to be among folks like you. It's been a privilege to travel this road with you.

Ginger, from over on the Roll Call, I've transported your crown over here to share with the nest:
:crowned:
Great job!! You are the Queen of SoberLand!

Rahul, thank you for the kind words about the prizes. I hope people don't think it's stupid...heaven knows this is the ONLY place we get a little recognition for the hard work we put in on this! I can't wait to see what your 180 day prize is either! Keep it going!!!!!
B

[Ginger999]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for the kudos for 90 days. It feels a little surreal that it's been that long since I had a drink. The early days of sobriety were quite a ride. I felt pretty crappy the first 4 weeks. A number of times I wanted to give up but I just kept thinking about disappointing my new found friends here at MWO and I just couldn't let that happen. If you need to this and you really want this to work, don't wait too long to talk to your loved ones. About 2 weeks in, I talked to my hubby about my plan. He was a little surprised but so supportive. Also, if you don't have a plan for when a trigger hits, make one now! If you need ideas go to the toolbox (link below) and find something that works for you or several somethings. I travel a lot so having a plan and lots of sparkling water saved me a number of times this past three months. Also, stay close all you newbies and read/post/read. If I can do it, you can too!! We are all here to help.

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Happy weekend, fellow Nesters! Am painting a bedroom and waiting for the first coat to dry, and thought I'd check in, as I was thinking about you all...this is the first time I've painted any room in my house while sober in about 15 years. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't look MUCH better than any of my previous paint jobs!

Does anyone remember reading, as kids, "The Tripods" series of books? These tripod machines came to earth and once a year, on capping day, would install caps on the heads of every 14 year old and their minds would become controlled by the aliens inside the tripods. These teenaged kids become part of the resistance movement, and in one of the books, they try to get caught, so they could become servants of these "Masters" (but really the kids were spies) which are aliens that look like green monsters. I remember this one scene where the Masters are either smoking or drinking some stuff and get high, and the boys notice that they get silly, lose their concentration, lose their sense of balance...and ultimately they take advantage of them later in the book when they're in this stoned/high state. I was about 12 years old when I read these books, and I distinctly remember wondering, why would anyone - human or monster -- want to get stoned/high like that? What could possibly be the draw? I remember asking my brother about that, too. What could possibly be fun about being so high you lose your ability to speak, move and function well?

Fast forward about 35 years, and needless to say I figured out the answer to that question a long time ago. Those books came into my mind last night, when I was at our family cabin and stopped by the bonfire to say hi to the relatives (our family owns an old resort so there are like 40 relatives around in the summer), and they were drinking, which is normal. Two of them were slurring pretty badly, and thought things were funny that were just stupid. It didn't bother me at all, but that same thought from when I was 10 popped into my head..."Why in the world would you want to put so much of that into your body so that you get drunk? And slur and act stupid? What in the world is the draw?"

Of course I get it - I know what the draw is for me, or what it used to be. But this stray thought from my 12 year old self passing through my mind was quietly thrilling. I'll hit 5 months AF in a few weeks and can honestly say that I have no desire for alcohol at all right now. I get occasional cravings from out of nowhere, but they're usually triggered by me doing something I used to do when drinking (like painting a room). But they're not bad cravings at all. And when I'm with people who are drinking, most of the time I totally don't want any. I get just a little bit bummed out when there's a special event and everyone is having a glass of fine wine to toast the occasion, and I wish I could drink normally. But then I say to myself, "You can't drink normally, so grow the f*** up and quit the pity party." And honestly when others are drinking, I don't care the vast majority of the time - I'm not missing out on anything other than my own destruction.

I just wanted to mention this for all of you who are in the first week and struggling. In my first few weeks, I never could have imagined that I'd eventually think drinking is stupid and have no desire to join in. In a few months, you're going to realize that the fear of what others think is ridiculous, and you're not going to believe that you ever could have worried about that. You're going to look back and realize that all those thoughts from this time early in your quit were thoughts controlled by an addicted brain that was screaming for it's fix, telling you lies about how you might hurt the feelings of your family members if you don't have just one glass of wine with them....or lose your friends...or not get the promotion because you're not drinking....those are LIES that your addicted brain is concocting. I used to read posts like this and think, "Yeah, but for me, it's different because..." Well, it's NOT different, for me or for any of you. Some folks might be bummed out to lose their drinking buddy, but they'll figure out a way to drink without you, I guarantee. Those who move onto other friends weren't your true friends to begin with. Regardless of their choices, you'll go to bed and wake up sober, in control and have your self-respect and dignity intact. And for me, that's been worth "missing" out on a few toasts. Have a great AF weekend, all!
__________________

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

PAVATI: Way to go. Hero status in my book.

[Ja]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Pepersnow for that. Been hanging close to this site and it's been fascinating and helpful. Starting to feel clearer today and the thought crossed my mind that I've actually been pretty good staying dry for awhile then dipping back in, which is what I've been doing for months. This time, because of all the wisdom words here, I recognized the BS immediately. The addict mind is so damn sneaky. I think I'll look up a gross youtube video on alcoholism and kick back and enjoy my soda water. See ya. Day 4 AF.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Ginger, woohoo on 90 days! So happy for you! And Pav, just brilliant! Pepper, loved your post!
I have been trying to get on here all day.....only getting logged in now.
Well, today is my day 82.....the last personal milestine. Last time I got this far was 2010 on my first quit.
Really pleased and have already passed it by a few hours....woopeeedoooo!
Have been getting pretty bad headaches lasting up to 3 days.....cutting sugar out to see if that coukd be the cause....they really change how my day goes.....affect sleeping....so need to get sorted. Never got headaches and if I did they didn't last long. This quit I have taken to eating more sweet stuff which I don't normally do either.
I also reached my goal weight today so really happy about that....18 lbs off since going AF.
Ava, glad your party went well.....well done you!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pepper, you should out that post in the tool box. You did a beautiful job of describing the process. Well done!!

Daisy, i cant tell you how proud I am of your 82 days!! Stay in these uncharted waters! To do otherwise only means going backwards! So many of us are in new territory, and it is fabulous!
GREAT JOB!
:happy:

Ja, great to see you staying strong! I am warming up your moon!!! Hugs all, Byrdie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrdie....as always, couldn't have done it without the support I get here. Had quite a few thoughts about drinking this week, especially while having headaches but all good....
Your message is just what I needed tonight.....as always you pop right up when I need you! So many good things happening in my life this week; things are turning around for me and my family....coincidence? I think not......
My eldest daughter said to me 'if you got through this week, you can get through anything'.........was so stressful and all turned out just great! Just keep believing......

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Daisy - great job

Ginger & Pav - CONGRATS to both of you!!!!!

Peppersnow & Kensho, clear thinking & the resulting 'normal behavior' are great gifts, don't you think?

Everyone sounds great, working their plans, reaping the rewards of an AF life - yay!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

So glad there are ears here to hear how fricken proud of myself I am! Interesting challenges and details, but I am watching some really drunk people here and I am stone cold sober!! REALLY stupid event to attend this early, but I learned a ton about myself and a few others tonight. Happy to say I am a non-drinker out loud. Thanks all.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good on you Kensho, its hard to not drink but watching drunk people reinforces why we dont drink. most of those people can go home and not drink for weeks and weeks but we end up in the bottle nightly. I always think of that when i see people drunk. The kids at the party last night I know wont be at the bottleshop this afternoon getting their fix like i used to. Feel proud of yourself often!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Ginger, Pav, and Daisy... Congratulations!!!!! It must feel so awesome to be you guys tonight!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Looks like a rain day in my portion of the nest, oh well! Good excuse to lay low & just take it easy for a change

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday. Make it a great day!!!

Lav

[Ja]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning to day 5. I've been uber stiff for days now since I whacked my back on my last night of drinking. Tried to work a bit yesterday and called it off after a couple of hours. I'm hoping today will be more productive and less painful. I'm a landscape gardener and I've got folks lined up for work so I really want to be out there, besides sitting at home for long hours drives me nuts. Thanks to MWO for some great reading and discussions as I transition into this awesome AF life I want for myself. Maybe everything has timed out perfectly? Kind of feels like it. I've also seen some pretty disgusting stuff from the BBC on youtube about the effects of heavy drinking on the younger folks there. It makes me appreciate the tolerance of my own body for not throwing me to the curb like some of the folks they talk about in the documentaries. Not to say my body hasn't taken a hit from the poison, but I'm not waiting for a liver transfer and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

It's helping me to keep the truth of this poison up front and center vs. the romanticized version of the crap we've all been sold. I think about the times I've been sober and my friends were really pouring it down and how boring and stupid the conversation gets when I'm on the outside looking in so to speak, then I think about how boring and stupid I am and often insensitive and interruptive when I'm the one in my cups and how I must irritate those who are far less gone. Safe to say it's just not fun anymore. OOOOOh I woke up contemplative!

I remind myself sometimes that I've had gobs of fun without alcohol when my mood was light and the folks were right. I want more of that. I keep visualizing myself that woman who walked away from the sh..t and never looked back. Here's to starting out day 5! Have a happy AF Sunday everyone!