Newbies Nest

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

Lemons to Lemonade

Fin;1705149 wrote: Thanks again, all. Holding, but man! Now our heat's out. Got a fire going that's helping. "Roughing" it is also a trigger. Grrrrr. I'll make it.

Hey Fin You have kids, right? Maybe throw up a makeshift tent in your living room and have a fun family indoor camp-out around the fire. Make a game out of staying warm kinda thing.

Pie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Kensho, your post reminds me of how I was feeling about a week before I gave in and drank at 88 days.....I caved, feeling under pressure of having so much on my plate and was getting down.
I drank.....nothing that I had been under pressure to do got done! I quickly reverted back to 2 bottles a night. Nothing got better. I was still under pressure but not able to fulfil my duties as I was constantly hungover. Now, back safe after 6 AF days, I am getting it together . Trying to do damage limitation.....my progress in life that I experienced when sober came to a grinding halt.
I realise now that the things I was feeling under pressure about were things that were about changing my life......starting up 2 new business type situations for working from home and also meeting family demands. I would not have had these opportunities had I been drinking.....I would never have experienced this pressure.....it was one that I should have worked through....I didn't, I drank!
Felt like all the good stuff I had built up was going down the toilet fast. I had to get a grip. Wasn't sure I could again. Thankfully, I got it back before it all went wrong and I am ready to continue sober with any obstacle that I am lucky enough to be able to encounter and deal with as I go.....lesson learned!

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1705156 wrote: I'm struggling tonight! I was home all day with my little one - who is NOT like my other one in that she won't just sit and watch a movie. She wanted me next to her the entire day, some of which she spent shivering and crying with a 103.9 degree temp. Two baths, lots of talking, lots of snuggling and I'm feeling tapped - after also doing everything last night for everyone and waking up at night. I'm treading water at work and keep getting calls for new projects - can't keep up. Hard when I have to be home with sick kiddo - I have been surrounded by people "needing" from me for a full 24 hours and I need a break! Alcohol sounds like such a good "away". But NO.

Kensho, Good on you for posting, and for saying, "NO." Obviously drinking won't make your kiddo any less needy, or your co-workers any less demanding. Got any Calgon?

Take good care,
Pie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

KENSHO;1705156 wrote: I'm struggling tonight! I was home all day with my little one - who is NOT like my other one in that she won't just sit and watch a movie. She wanted me next to her the entire day, some of which she spent shivering and crying with a 103.9 degree temp. Two baths, lots of talking, lots of snuggling and I'm feeling tapped - after also doing everything last night for everyone and waking up at night. I'm treading water at work and keep getting calls for new projects - can't keep up. Hard when I have to be home with sick kiddo - I have been surrounded by people "needing" from me for a full 24 hours and I need a break! Alcohol sounds like such a good "away". But NO.

FIN - NO.
Me - NO.

NO.

Me - NO-NO!
KENSHO - NO-NO!

Hang in there! Sleep in near.

[KENSHO]

Newbies Nest

Going to bed early for a Friday. Ava, now is my 5 minutes of me time!

Thanks everyone, so incredibly helpful to be reminded that AL would not be the magic cure I was fantasizing about.

Daisy, your first line hit me square between the eyes. Thanks for sharing.

So, I'll chalk it up to a unusually stressful day, and a go to sleep. Tomorrow I can problem solve instead of drink. Seems to me the logical solution to having too much on my plate is to get a smaller plate.

[Matt M.]

Newbies Nest

Kensho just from reading your daily post I can tell your a strong woman. As basic as it sounds, we know that a couple of hours of false bliss from the beast, would result in days of agony. You posting your struggles in here is encouraging for you and us.
I'm going to continue to clear the path for you, with only a day ahead. But if I need to I'll go back a day and run with you!
Stay Hard little lady your a badass!

[Matt M.]

Newbies Nest

Daisy your post was spot on!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

abcowboy;1704842 wrote:

We all have our temptations and problem days to deal with, how we handle them makes us who we are. I read a simple thought somewhere that helps me deal with my tougher days...... If someone dumps a load of rocks in front of you, will you build a wall or a bridge? Somedays it seems the easiest thing to do is to build a wall, isolate myself from my problems, wallow in that pity pot. But where does that get me, sad? Angry? Frustrated? By building a bridge, I have conquered the obstacle in front of me and I can walk right over it and continue moving forward!

What a great post and wonderful way to put it. I sure am one who is used to making walls. And after making a wall I was along in it with AL cut from the outside world. Now claiming out of the wall I see that I am in a new world. People are same but they have changed or moved on ...

Byrdlady , my posts many of them are actually out bursts so I may not be able to write something for the sake of a writing ...

Kenso it's so good to see you are doing well. Congrats and stay on path ...

Jane who is Neruda ?

[JWP]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

Okay, so I don't believe in guardian angels - or god for that matter - despite my reference to a guardian angel last night. That said, I swear there is something in the universe on my side right now…

Tonight I went to dinner with two girlfriends. Both of them ordered sauvignon blanc, one of my drinks of choice. I really, really wanted one too. Forty-five minutes later, they ordered a second round. My brain was giving me 20,000 reasons to join them in this round. Then, the server returned and said that the restaurant was out of sauvignon blanc but had chardonnay if my friends wanted any, which they did. I hate chardonnay. I'd have to be hammered to even consider drinking it. And that was it - my temptation was gone. What amazing luck.

So, here I am closing out day 10 of no drinking. I sure hope I don't think about drinking as much tomorrow.

Best,
JWP

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

JWP, happy it turned out that way for you. I am the opposite.....Hate Sauvignon Blanc and loved Chardonnay. Glad I wasn't there!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Sure wish I was able to get here yesterday. It would have helped some I think.

I did 2 days..no real problem except sleep on that 2nd day, but I'm not sure it was lack of AL that caused that sleepless night.

If I stated what happened openly here than most of you would think I was nuts (which you prolly already do) so I won't bore you to tears with all that.

I have lots of bad stuff going on right now. (Potential family deaths soon or massive surgeries). However, no excuses.

I drank.

I'll just continue to read when I can over the next few days and plan on starting over (again).

I'm loving all the latest posts though. Thanks!

Love,

Sarah

[available]

Newbies Nest

Daisy congratulations on your 7 days sober, so proud of you girl. Keep on going, i know you will. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to do the first week but you have done marvelously. Nothing will stand in your way!

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Still early doors in my long term recovery, but something that has really helped this week is asking myself this question:

"What is my purpose?"

What do I want to achieve? Who do I want to be? What sort of life do I want to live?

Behind everything I want to do in life, I need vitality.

I need to be physically and mentally in good shape.

And all of a sudden, I see Al and drugs for what they are. For me, personally, they take vitality away from me. They literally turn me into a copy of a copy of myself. One with no drive, desire, no giving.

I do not have the mental strength or physical capacity to meet my challenges.

What's more important? Getting off my face, or being someone who I really want to be?

The lure of AL appears much less at the moment. It will be interesting to see how I react when challenges appear.

But meditation, introspection and goal setting has really helped this time.

Maybe that rock bottom moment a few weeks ago was what I needed to spark change?

Hope everyone is well and has a strong AL free weekend.

Who do you want to be?

[available]

Newbies Nest

You are sounding good London and yes probably a few weeks ago was what you needed to be totally committed to this journey. As we know its not an easy journey, there are many ups and downs to experience but with more af time it gets easier and easier.

Who do i want to be? I wanted to be that person that was not hiding behind al everyday, the person who is confident in what they do daily in life, the person that wakes up happy and content. the person that gets enjoyment from just looking at the sky. The person that is not afraid to face life sober and that "me" person is now present and accountable and i love her. I have not known that person for 20+ years and its nice to be reaquainted again.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & happy Saturday!

Cloudy & waiting for rain here but at least it's cooler now

Kensho, I hope you are OK & your daughter as well!
So many kid viruses going around this time of year. Don't let her get dehydrated.

Sarah, great that you did 2 days AF!
Choosing to drink over potential future problems is not going to change the outcome of those situations. You are keeping yourself in your self-made rut but you can change that, your choice.

JWP, great on your 10 AF days
Londoner, glad to hear you are doing better!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav