Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Cap'm OK, what a great timeline! Would you consider posting your analysis in the Tool Box? You hit it out of orbit with that one! Thank you for taking the time to plot it out like that! To infinity....and beyond! B

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Think I'm starting to feel better, yay.

Trinity, so happy you did not drink. You thought it thru & made the right decision. CONGRATS on your 14 AF days!!!!

okoren, CONGRATS on your 160, awesome. Makes a huge difference, don't you think?

lifechange, don't sweat the explanations - you don't owe anyone an explanation

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a safe 7 cozy night in the nest - cold here!!!!

Lav

[open halo]

Okay whose ready for summer??? -36 today, only minutes till frost bite occurs! Stay safe and warm nesters. Here's to another AF day, done and done!

[BeachGirly]

Hey- great to see so many new faces, dedicated to this!
Welcome.
I am fairly new also, at 34 days - and I am not wobbling at all. Once I decided that I was not going to moderate - I need to be AF - it became easy.

Love Byrdies post and Captin Ok's regarding the time line. This is extremely helpful.
I am at that stage of thinking about my quit 24/7. That is good - but I would like to let my mind think of something else now. I know that will come. Now I need my guard up. And I am still learning so much, about how AL took over my life, about taking responsibility, about myself and my needs, my limits.
Keep checking in, reading, posting and asking questions. There is a wealth of info here.

[Samstone]

Hey Beachy
I still think of my quit daily because I'm so darn glad I am where I am. It is always in the back of my mind. Not obsessively, more like an affirmation of who I am and glad to be sober, especially considering the alternative! Well done on 34 days!!

Sam

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Okoren - I agree, for the toolbox. I had much different timing, though. See below--

I am fairly new also, at 34 days - and I am not wobbling at all. Once I decided that I was not going to moderate - I need to be AF - it became easy.

I found the same thing, Beachy. Just to let you know - there is something called the Pink Cloud effect - that once the initial euphoria of FINALLY quitting ends, there can be something of a letdown. I experiences it in a big way - Really? Is this it? Am I REALLY not drinking forever? I didn't want to drink per se, but I was irritated that I had to think about alcohol all the time. It wasn't a deprivation mode, either - I was still very grateful to be free from the beast. I just felt blech. No Sugar has a post about the in between (I think it was written by Turnagain). For me that was from about three months until about seven months. I am not trying to pop anyone's bubble, but being aware is being prepared. I am saying this because that is a time that a lot of people relapse. Reading about it helped me immensely. Here's one resource and a quote from it.

If an individual experiences a particularly pleasant period in recovery, then it can be disappointing when it ends. Life is full of ups and downs, and nobody can stay up forever. Emotions eventually settle down as the body adjusts to recovery, and the highs and lows become less intense. The individual can respond to the end of the pink cloud by assuming that they have done something wrong. They can begin to lose faith in those tools that have been keeping them away from alcohol and drugs. They may even start to question if recovery is that worthwhile after all. People can feel cheated when the super highs of early recovery are replaced by more modest emotions.

In short, my thrusters fired exuberantly early, and then their final stage was late, so I reached orbit later than some. But I was committed to staying sober for myself and my family, and with my amazing support network here, I made it to the moon!

Good night,
Pav

Edit: WAY TO GO TRINITY. So happy that you reached two weeks and talked yourself out of going back.

[enzo'smom]

I am at the point today where I am fully committed to being a recovered alcoholic. I crave a drink but not for the drink itself and not for the feeling either. I crave AL today because it is so embedded in who I was and how I handled the end of the day that it just automatically pops into my mind….then I think it through and realize how stupid and self destructive it would be to drink…..but I feel like there is a hole that needs to be filled. I am going to relax and get to know this hole for what it is and then wait patiently to find the right filling
Day 18 BRING IT

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Thursday!

I'm feeling much more human today ~ geez, these winter viral assaults are nasty.

Enzo, keep that thinking going, that's how you get the job done

Anxious to get back to my normal routine today!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[A new page]

I am at the point today where I am fully committed to being a recovered alcoholic. I crave a drink but not for the drink itself and not for the feeling either. I crave AL today because it is so embedded in who I was and how I handled the end of the day that it just automatically pops into my mind….then I think it through and realize how stupid and self destructive it would be to drink…..but I feel like there is a hole that needs to be filled. I am going to relax and get to know this hole for what it is and then wait patiently to find the right filling
Day 18 BRING IT

Great job on 18 days, Enzo!
I have that "hole" too, and at 68 days do notice the hole is getting smaller....

This is a particularly hard time of the year as it is the days are so short, dark when we get home from work, and just cold and miserable. I know I felt the "hole" over the Holidays when I had extra time off, and I could have spent some not-so-quality time with my good buddy, AL, but resisted..... and kept busy reading forums and books on recovery!

It is not that I have "nothing to do", there is always PLENTY....but AL was my enjoyment and relaxation .....how sad is that???? And haven't found a new replacement yet.

When Spring finally hits, I plan to take a class at the local community college in whatever interests me at the moment, maybe a weekly exercise class and go back to walking my dogs! And maybe fill that hole with dirt from the garden. By that time I will have read every book on recovery written...

Hang it there, it does get better with time.....

[BeachGirly]

Wow - thank you - I k ew nothing of this.
I am feeling extremely tired this week, and bleh like you said.i have some reading to do .
As you say, being aware is being prepared and that is very important to me.

Thanks Pav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning!
Lav, I'm so glad you are back in the pink! You bounce back quickly! Distant hugs!

Yes, that hole will get filled! (insert joke here!!) As I look back on my AF time, I have accomplished quite a lot in terms of Special Interests. I've made hundreds of beaded jewelry pieces, knitted dozens of scarves, weaved pails of potholders, baked who-knows-how-many goodies and the list goes on! It won't take many months before you look back and wonder how the heck you managed before? Donating 5-6 hours every single night to booze is just not negotiable anymore, I don't have the time or energy!!! Bah! If you feel a flat spot...just ride it out. Read and participate here MORE! You will get past it. That's a promise!
Hope everyone has a productive day today and that all the R. Soles in our lives stay in THEIR holes today. Byrdie

[Elvis]

GMAE all. I hope everyone is having a good day. I needed to check in just to vent a little bit. Got some unwanted news at work. Nothing big, I'm stressing over something really minor, but I guess it was more important to me than I thought. This is the type of situation that would have provided me with the perfect excuse to go home early and drink, so I just need to ramble a bit until the feeling passes.

It scares me a little bit that my first thought was anger and wanting to drink. I'm not happy, but drinking won't change anything. It will just start that vicious cycle all over again. And I will not let that happen again. I will not let things that I can't control hurt me like that. My sobriety is important to me and I won't lose it for anything again, especially tihs. If all I have to complain about is the minor stuff, I must be doing something right with my life. Sometimes you need to just accept things that you don't like.

Thanks for listening. I'm still not happy about the situation, but putting my thoughts in writing was productive. Have a great day everyone!

[Altaman]

Good day Fellow Nesters! Hope everyone had a great AF night and is enjoying the day today.

Day 17 today, AF. We're in Toronto visiting family, tomorrow we fly to Punta Cana in Dominican Republic for 10 days. There is plenty of alcohol here and will be more in Punta Cana. My wife has been a huge support in my giving up AL and will help me resist temptation should the need arise. Thanks to the nest for the suggestions to have the mini bar AL removed along with the hard liquor in the wall dispenser.

Trinity, I meant to write a few days ago and pass on my condolences on the passing of your puppy. I'm sure you were a huge comfort to your pup at the end. I've had the same heartache before and will be going through it again in the next few months as our 12 1/2 year old border collie's health declines. She's been my best friend for all these years.
Good for you Trinity to avoid the temptation of alcohol during such a stressful time. Good too that you found comfort and support with your friends in the Nest.

Hope everyone has a great day today, look forward to catching up from a much warmer climate in the next few days.

Altaman

[moni]

Feeling better already - positive feelings again like before xmas. I actually had a productive evening yesterday and treated myself to a few beauty products.

[KENSHO]

Okoren, I love your analogy! I would say it is spot on - at least for my experience!

Enzo'smom, those habits will start to change. Give them time. Yesterday, I went to a work meeting at a swanky office. They had a liquor cabinet out - front a and center, stacked with all of my favorite old friends. I DID notice it, and remember my feelings as things of the past, but I quickly moved on. Then I was offered a beer while others drank 1-2, I just said no thanks and kept working. I did this out of habit - I didn't feel deprived and it wasn't hard to say no. Driving home, I realized how far behind me it felt - that drinking life. The struggle, the inner turmoil, the dishonesty and sneaking around, the shame. I think over time, it becomes so clear (like Okoren's "cleared the atmosphere"), and we begin to equate that bottle with very negative things. I truly didn't have a desire to partake with them, and that felt really good.

Elvis, sorry you had a pooey day. Great job noticing your thoughts and sharing and then moving on. Hopefully the next day will be better for you!

I'm trying to decide whether to switch schools for my kids - so many things to consider! They make the deadlines so darn early - January for an August start! And who does theses "grades" for the schools - and what are they testing on, and is that really the mark of the best schools for my kids' needs... on and on.

Anyway - looking forward to a run outside today, as we may actually get into the high 50's! I've been doing cardio and lifting recently and I can already feel a difference in my strength.

Take care everyone - and just keep up the AF time, even when it's hard. When you decline a drink, you are making new connections in your brain and further developing a different habit. It won't be long until it feels easier!