Newbies Nest

[enzo'smom]

I am so happy to see new names here today!!! One very very important lesson I have learned during this quit is that picking and choosing the suggestions offered here is NOT the solution. the solution is to take EVERY suggestion and try it…..see if it helps regardless of how you think it will never work or think it silly. Speaking from experience, and by way of example, during a quit in the past I thought stuff like getting rid of all AL from the house was unnecessary and what a waste of money to throw all that booze down the drain when my husband still drinks (non-alcoholicly) …I didn't drink hard liquor so didn't think it a problem to have it lying around in the house. While I never actually drank any of it, having it lying around my house, my SAFE HAVEN…was just a CONSTANT reminder of alcohol. I knew it was there. I knew I could drink it at any time if I wanted to…..that is not what took me out….it was the wine and the fact that I reached my "goal" of 100 days that took me out. But, in hindsight, I see how damaging it was to my sobriety to have that stuff lying around.

I don't suggest this is the right way, but for me, this time, I am not counting days. If the time comes when I realize I have reached some significant time, I may want to celebrate….but my focus is just today. Just today I will not drink. And, all the AL is gone from my house - my husband hid it from me and I have no idea where it is (he still drinks). I am taking all suggestions and trying them on for size. Like meditating. Don't knock it until you try it!! and simple prayers to a higher power….whatever that may mean to you.

Sometimes, I can't believe what I type here because it is so different from who I have been as a person all my life…..but I feel so much better for it so it must be working!!!!

[LavenderBlue]

Jumping in here quick while I have a moment; and hi to everyone I've missed and to the new folks in the Nest! (This is an awesome place, so very much so.) I did a longer post earlier, but the short version is that while I got overwhelmed here, especially with the site change, I have been keeping my quit. Just hit the 6 month mark earlier this month. Going to try to do better staying plugged in here without getting all overwhelmed - part of it was the site change but I think part of it was also ignoring my own issues by focusing on everyone else. I do that, sometimes. >_> And I'll say I'm sorry again to anyone who was worried about me; being better at saying things instead of just avoiding them is one of those things I'm still relearning how to do. I'm working on getting health insurance right now; getting some help with my actual anxiety issues while SOBER should help immensely, I'm thinking.

Anyway, so awesome to see so many familiar names and also so many new ones. I hope everyone is doing well, and extra love for everyone struggling. Do stay close - I know that prob sounds insane since I just mentioned I've been away, but if I didn't consider this important to keeping my quit I wouldn't be coming back. I'm reading back today, hearing from everyone else is something I've definitely been missing.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters (from a very frosty portion of the nest! Brrrrrrrrr!!!

Hello & welcome Georgiagal, glad you decided to join us.
I started out by reading the book & diving into the MWO Hypno CDs - they made a big difference for me. Learning how to relax & quiet the mind chatter without AL on board was a big deal. Wishing you the best & make sure you make a good working plan for yourself!

Over it, good to see you. Settle in for a while & let us know what you need. Your description of yourself sounds like you are depressed. Have you thought about seeing your doc and/or a counselor? They could both offer you some help I'm sure. Stay close to the nest, OK? :hug:

Banana, glad you found your way here to the nest!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest - stay warm!!!!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Congratulations Lav blue on 6 months booze free! Huge accomplishment friend. Good to see you and keep it going.

Welcome to our newer posters!

One thing i'd like to add today is the importance of some kind of plan for ourselves when we are really struggling and want to turn our life around.

When i am at my weakest, lowest, and not thinking too clearly or thinking too much, a simple written out plan with some small,simple, positive steps forward that i can handle can be a lifesaver and guide me out of the confusion and nowheresville.

Just a simple plan with small steps that i can handle and follow each day for morning, noon, night. Our toolbox has some very useful and effective ideas for this. Here is the link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?24253-Tool-box

Take it easy and kick some arse in your own way Nesters. G

[Overit-still]

LAV-yes depression and anxiety have always been a problem for me. I have taken and LOVED anxiety medication for a few years and it has been a Godsend. Lately though, my doctor has retired and my prescription has run out. I THOUGHT I was doing OK without it but looking back I can see that I am not. This is where a lot of my rage comes from. I get overly excited and agitated at even the simplest of things and it just sets me off. I know this. So, I will be seeing a new doctor soon and hopefully be able to continue on with my medication.

[banana44]

A list for other newbies who have joined today (today is only my second day so I'm not some kind of guru, obviously haha)...here are a few simple things, as Guitarista pointed out, that I can do to refocus my energy...I began a journal where I've been doing a brain dump of how I feel, what I want, where I want to see myself AF in the future (though I too try not to dwell on dates...I've blown too many milestones in the past by thinking I should "pat myself on the back"). I meditated for 20 minutes, took some good B vitamins and a nice hot shower. These are all comparatively little steps but they help me with focusing on where I am and re-committing when I feel weak. Also, of course, reading and posting here! There are some great recommendations in the toolbox mentioned at the bottom of Byrd's signature line.

Best to you all. I'm going to make some sleepytime tea and curl up with a good mystery novel, and when I wake up in the morning I'll be able to recall what I read instead of wondering where I left off when I passed out. And yes, stay warm!

[Georgiagal]

Where/when is the best place and time to listen to the hypno cd's?

[available]

Georgi, change your routine. As soon as i got home from work i used to feed the dogs and drink till i passed out. When i stopped drinking, i came home (after fighting with myself to go to the bottle shop and feck it) and had a shower and got into my pj's so i would not be enticed. i ate what i wanted, napped if i was tired. I had to stop my old routine and figure out a new one that did not involve al. The witching hour is a bitch but it only lasts for a couple of hours and you will be happy you made it through. Stay on here and post and read.

Overit only you can change your life and enjoy it, we are here to help though, i did and i listened to the oldies and now i have that life that others enjoy. No one will stop your drinking and no one can make you happy except yourself. Everything changes when you stop drinking and for the better. If "forever" is too overwhelming then stop all al for 30 days and see how you go. Dolly steps in the beginning and each day gets better. Do the hard yards to begin with and there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is hope.

[Lavande]

Checking back in - one more time!

Lav Blue, Congrats on your 6 AF months!!!

Georgiagal, I used the CDs in the evening, when I could sit quietly & focus. There is one in the set specifically to use at bedtime. I loved them & used them nightly for more than a year!

HBE, I am sorry you are having so much pain right now. I sure wish there was a way you could see a Rheumatologist sooner. Apply whatever comforting self-care routines you can until then :hug:

I really should think about calling it a day, again!

Lav

[Hanna]

Hi nesters!
Just a quick hello before I turn in. Long, crazy day at work, followed by the gym. Didn't get home until 8. But doing well now in week 3. Lots of thoughts to share. Maybe tomorrow I will have more time to do so. Quite a few newbies here. That is fantastic. I am still new...only 3 weeks or so here, yet the changes already are amazing. This can be done, and although it is still somewhat of a struggle, it is NOTHING like it was at first, and overall I feel so good. No hangovers, no shame, no guilt, no self loathing....WOW. Stick around, and LISTEN to the old timers here. They are nothing short of amazing!! I could NOT be doing this without their support. I KNOW. I have tried numerous times over many, many, years without success.

Night all. Can't wait to get under the covers sober and get a good nights sleep!!

[NoSugar]

Hanna, I love checking for your nightly posts and seeing how enthused you are about your new life. It helps me keep my enthusiasm to be reminded of what a huge and wonderful change it is.

Jennie, you sound like a different, happier woman and I'm so happy for you!

Overit, Georgi, and Banana, follow in the footsteps of these ladies and you'll be living a happier, more peaceful life sooner than you can imagine.

Welcome back, LavBlue!

[KENSHO]

Welcome Georgiagal! Welcome back LavBlue, nice to hear from you and congrats on your 6 months!

Overit, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough patch. Hang in there and whatever you do, remember that drinking will only make things much harder.

I'm trying very hard to keep my commitments to myself regarding work tasks tonight so I'm off to my drawings and such. It's a great thing, this being sober... an opportunity to improve ALL aspects of my life. And it's so much easier with a clear head. Problems + booze = much bigger problems. Problems - booze = an actual ability to solve them.

I'm off to my list. I used to only be able to get through late nights with a few shots - now its normal for me to sip tea, and look forward to a good sleep!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Tuesday to all

Started my day off with a balmy 3 degrees!!! Enough already - I am ready for Spring!

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
LavBlue, you touched on something yesterday that has stuck with me. Listening to the tried and true methods of attack was something I found difficult to do. After all, I WAS different than these other people here....the one thing I resisted the most of getting AL out of my space. My hubs drinks moderately and he was keeping that box of wine in the fridge that served as a BEACON every time I opened it. It was a constant reminder of what I couldn't have. Plus it was my FIX...a BAD combination. I simply asked him to put it downstairs in his fridge and it was no big deal for him. It made all the difference for me. I am not Mother Theresa, I can resist anything but temptation, so this was a step that really helped me. It also helps connect the dots in your head. "I am taking steps to rid myself of this toxin, I will succeed." I kept it around as a SAFETY NET! Well, what does THAT tell me? I plan to fail. When you get ALL of the AL out of your space it sends a big ole message to your inner brain that you mean business. It's a small but very meaningful step. GREAT POINT, LavB.
I can't tell you how many times I've seen nesters say "I had a weak moment and I reached for the bottle or beer that was in the fridge". OR, "If there had been any ____ in the house I'd have drank it. " Future-Proof yourself....GET. IT. OUT! (to be said like an EXORCIST!!!)
Hanna, did you ever think you'd be giving advice on how to NOT drink? Life is funny that way!! I'm so proud of your 3 weeks! One more and we get to award your HAT! (honorary, we play for pride, not prize!)
One thing I did at night to get me thru the 4 bad hours was brush and floss my teeth....don't ask me why, but this seemed to symbolize the end of consumption in my head. Once I did that, I didn't want to mess my teeth up. The thought of wine and toothpaste may just be enough to get you thru that day. Whatever works!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Georgiagal]

Morning everyone! This is my hundredth day 2, but I feel good and I will not drink today. I'm scared I will feel differently come 5 pm though.