Newbies Nest

[LavenderBlue]

Just checking in quick; I have my appointment in a couple hours - will be good to have it over with so I stop thinking about it. It's not that I'm worried about anything specific, my brain just wants to chew on it like my dog with his fav toy.

I wrote a really long ramble last night thinking about my AF journey and thanking everyone here. I was going to post it in the Nest until I realized how much I wrote! It's long, but if anyone's interested I gave it its own thread here in "Just Starting Out." The super short version is thank you to everyone, no matter how or what you share it really helps! <3

[LilBit]

Overit, hugs to you and my big snuffly dog, Joe, sends kisses. You're here and I'm glad you're here, no matter what. Life is teeming with second and third and fourth chances, and it 'aint over till that big ol' fat lady sings.

LavB, good luck with your appointment. It takes kahonies to go & get things checked out, and I just know you'll feel relieved afterward.

[available]

Morning nest

Cold, windy, rainy here! blah

Overit, sucks balls that you drank but maybe it would be beneficial to put it out what happened so you can get a wealth of advice. we are great at that! We are all a work in progress with al and we do understand.

I had a pretty easy day at work until i found out a patient i was quiet fond of died from an epilepsy attack and had a cardiac arrest. She was the same age as my daughter who turned 28 on Sunday. It just ripped me apart yesterday, i spoke to her parents for an hour and they are an inspiration at this very sad time. her dad when i rang told me Emma had a lot of time for me, i was the only person she could get any help from. There is always a positive out of a very negative time but it has thrown me for six. I rang my daughter and told her i loved her very deeply and to never forget that. Robert is back in hospital so he timed that well!

Mum goes home today, its been a 3 long weeks and she is already talking about xmas!

Lavb i hope all went well with you. I am sure you will be fine.

Lil hope everything is going ok with you too lovely. You are in my thoughts each day.

Take care everyone.

[LavenderBlue]

Thank you, Lilbit! I've got bloodwork to do on Thursday now to check for anemia and diabetes, but the hard part of actually going in is over with at least. No one yelled at me or anything! (I know, I wasn't honestly worried I'd get yelled at; just the generalized worry.) I can stop worrying that I have something wrong that would have been caught if I'd just stop avoiding the doctor, which really is a relief.

It's also less scary to go in when I don't "need" to lie about my drinking. I did tell him the truth that even though I stopped drinking by my own choice, it was definitely an issue for me, so he'll know that going forward. It was a big deal for me to do that, since the old me would have kept it a secret in case I really wanted something like Xanax at some point. My doctor has always been super careful about prescribing things like that anyway, but still. Can't back out now that he knows, and I'm proud of myself for making a point of it.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Overit, I'm sorry you decided to drink but glad you are back. You know what you need to do, right?
Stay close to the nest, let us know what's going on.

LavB, glad you were honest with your Doc. He should be your ally & work with you to meet your goals. I need to schedule myself for blood work too

Ava, I'm sorry about your young patient. It scared me when my patients were close to my age but it scared me worse when they were much younger :hug:
Your Mum loves you & of course she wants to spend Christmas with you. I know you can handle it, you're an expert now!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Overit - There's plenty of room here in the nest. Sorry you drank - I know you don't want to analyze, but I know you had a whole bunch going on in your life. Try using us next time, instead of cutting this out first? We're here for you. Settle in and get down to business. There's no time like the present.

Ava, I'll bet you're really good at your job, and I'm glad you could be there for that girl and her family. How sad.

LavB - I love ticking the "zero" box on the drinks per week questionnaire. Glad you're seeing your doc.

I have some legal stuff going on at work. I am always afraid I'll say the wrong thing and it will be used against me in the future. I wish people were just more direct and not so crazy sometimes. Why does everything have to be high drama!?

I am on the Warriors basketball bandwagon - thoroughly enjoying basketball for the first time since I was in college. Off to watch the game.

Good night, nest.

Pav

[abcowboy]

Howdy nesters! Just another quick flyby to mention that LavBlue has created a new life for herself by reaching her 9 month milestone today!

LavenderBlue!

[Hanna]

Over it

I tried to pm you but your message box is full. I am at day 1 and ready...regardless of my marriage, my fears.... I am done. Would love a quit partner

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Tuesday

Overit & Hanna, I hope you two can grab hands & forge a new & healthy path together. AL just simply has no place & no purpose in our lives anymore. It keeps us down & unable to live our best lives.

LavB, Congrats on your 9 AF months, Yay!!!
I know you are feeling the benefits, that's terrific

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday whether it's Day 1 or Day 1,000,000!!!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
LavBlue, 9 months, huh? A new life has been born! :baby: Well done on this great feat....it is 1000 times easier to keep it going, so just keep piling one day on top of the next. So proud of you!

Whoever you are and wherever you are in your quit....make this one stick. NO MATTER WHAT. The choice is ours, and by the time we get here, we are pretty much out of options...we can succumb to drinking or we can fight like hell to get our lives back. In other words, Live or Die from Alcohol. Those were my choices. Those were Lav's, NS's, Jane's, and The P-Ava Twins choices. Both are difficult in their own ways, but the one thing I know for sure is that drinking like I was became HARDER than staying sober. You can't really see that while you are in the cave, but once the light shines on you, you will see just how lost you were. Going back to AL (even ONE) takes you right back down the rabbit hole. Don't fall for this, it's a trick....EVERY TIME. Dust off, get your tools in place and let's climb out of this pit! You have LOTS of help. All you gotta do, is get thru THIS day. Byrdie

[LilBit]

YAY, LavB!! Nine months is awesome, and a clean bill of health soon to follow.

Great post as always, Byrdie.

Overit and Hanna, I am pulling for you guys.

Happy AF Tuesday, everyone. I'm getting a massage today and having lunch (crab bisque) with friends. Trying to enjoy every moment, even the waiting ones.

[Matt M.]

Checking in, Storms with tornadoes and flooding in my neck of the woods. Mother's Day was wheels off, weather wise. Storm Damage has been widespread in North Texas, Luckily we came out pretty good compared to some.
Hope to read back and get caught up soon.

I did glance up and read the Byrd whisperers post.

Byrd~ the one thing I know for sure is that drinking like I was became HARDER than staying sober

^^That is a no bullshit statement.
The amount of work that I put in to drinking, hiding drinking, hiding money spent on drinking, hiding the smell from drinking,,,etc,etc. Is more than this fatboy can handle. Makes me tired thinking about it..

It took me a while to see it this way and to not constanttky look at it as something I'm missing out on, or I'm doomed because I can't drink bullshit. Yes, like the great PAVATI, I have those occasional, " F! That frosted bottle of beer looks so good" , but soon after I replay that first beer out over 24 hrs, I'm right back at another Full time job, which is drinking!
That's All I have to say about that..

[Dutch1988]

Had a dream about drinking last night, totally rattled my cage. I don't remember enjoying the experience in my dream, but I know I was upset about something and drinking at somebody. Definitely need to stay on my toes, pretty sure Sunday and Monday my mood was less heroic let's say haha. The good news is as opposed to the last 60 days I barely felt it, it felt like I was just barely below loving life, as opposed to flying off the ceiling. I wrote last week my energy felt contagious, my brother told me yesterday he felt the same, which inspired me to stay the course even more so. The thought had never occurred to me how much more I could help others without drinking, and that is definitely motivating.

Wish everyone the best of luck, I moved my computer downstairs yesterday to start hammering out my personal trainer certification, so hopefully I can be on here a bit more. I am hoping to not use MWO as a procrastination tool but that's better than drinking still, right?

[NoSugar]

Hanna and Overit,

You both mentioned taking breaks from posting on MWO or from being online entirely. I must admit, alarm bells went off in my head when I read those posts. It is possible that there are many people who have kicked this addiction simply by reading - but by definition, there's no way for us to know about them. I got pretty close myself by reading books and websites but there always was something missing. Posting regularly and interacting with people who "got it" immediately was my missing link. For one thing, we are social creatures and there is power in a group that can be greater than the sum of its parts. For another, you're using (and rewiring!) a different part of your brain when you type out your thoughts. I liken it to how we can learn a subject in school by listening or reading but for me, the key tool was taking notes and later rewriting them - that's when the "permanent" learning took place.

You don't have to come on here and reveal every little detail of your life unless it is helpful for you to do so. If it is, that's fine. Don't worry about whether others want to read all that. It's their choice. Posting encouragement and support for others is one of the best things you can do - for them, but mostly for yourself! When you do that, you are talking the way we all should be talking to ourselves, but so many of us don't. It is kind of a tricky, backdoor way of giving yourself the positive affirmations we all need when making a big change in our lives. You're not going to come on here and say to someone else, 'Oh you're just a weak hopeless loser who will never stop drinking', right?? But how many times did we all say that kind of thing to ourselves, almost guaranteeing our continued failure to quit?

I'd really encourage you to make a commitment to posting daily. It could be a simple plan, like a minimum of one post encouraging someone else and one post sharing how you're doing each day. If you feel like posting more, all the better in my opinion but it could be a starting point for the involvement that can lead to the commitment you need if you want to be done for good.

Take care, NS

Edit to add: Welcome back, Kailey! You, Hanna, and Overit could be a Triple Threat, taking on AL and getting him out of your lives.

[jane27]

Congratulations LavBlue!!!