Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nursie, I had a college dream last night! OMG, I was living in a dorm and going back to school and classes were about to start and I hadn't signed up for anything yet, plus I was still working full time. It was awful! Woke up relieved that it was just a dream! Gosh they seem SO REAL!

Pan, I'm so sorry you have to start over, you'd be in rare air if you were the only one who has had to do this. It has happened to most of us before we finally put CAUSE AND EFFECT into practice and realize that it's the drinking that makes us feel so bad. I wish I could say I got it on my first try, but alas. I would urge you to grab hold of someone here you trust, and get their number and text or call them if you feel wobbly. I will happily give you my information if I can help. Do whatever it takes to break free of this, you won't be sorry! Glad you are here!

I will be hitting the road tomorrow for work, but will make it a point to check in. Like Ava emphasized, BECAUSE I have stressful things going on is not a reason to slack off on posting it is a reason to post MORE. Between the steroids (the colitis flare) , the loss of my friend and work stress, I am an emotion nut job! But as you have noticed, I'm here every day. Why? Because it's important to stay connected with my support. I want to get my 30 year prize from Lav when the time comes!

Stay strong, everyone! If it stayed as hard as it is at first, nobody could do it! Every day that passes brings new strength. Hang in there! Byrdie

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

HI Nest, just checking in on the roll call and read back on here and noticed the Nest has reached a milestone - page 7000... So I thought I'd say hello to be part of the page!!

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,
Hope you are all well today?
Congratulations Lav on your 8 astounding years AF :heartbeat: more so for sharing it with us xxx
Have left it ages to post, another bug has made the rounds & got me too so have felt yuk after the weekend. My son was sick yesterday & had to come home & ended up missing a school trip today (48hr incubation & all that jazz) so have to drive him down to the resort tomorrow...
Sorry to hear you've such a tough time ahead Ava x
Pan, you're doing so well - Don't forget that!
Byrdie, I'm so glad you are here & admire the support you offer every day through thick & thin xxxx
So...G & Kensho, how did your spa day go...?!
Nursie, come to n.ireland! It's as pretty as the South!
Weird week otherwise - Martin MaGuiness passing away meant alot to folk found these parts, both good n bad... also mama's day... My lifelong No contact plan (like lifelong permanent AL abstinence) means alot more to me than other folk. I'm really happy with the progress I've made in the last 5 months - Thank You for your support, I would not be here without it x though would not be here with it alone so my revised 15 year plan will incorporate both recovery paths & probably wouldn't have realised this if I hadn't relapsed. So the journey behind me is not & never has been wasted.
Wishing all a safe and sober Tuesday
LS

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

If I had waited 10 more minutes, my husband would have been home. His pickup was in the driveway when I got back from buying wine. I blew 10 days of sobriety over worries that had no basis in truth. Now I have alcohol back in my system and I've got to start completely over.

You learned a lot from this, Kim, and nothing can take away those 10 days of freedom you enjoyed :hug:.

The fact that you had to go out to buy the wine is great -- it means you had all the alcohol out of your house! Maybe you could add another step to increase your odds of success.

One "rule" I made for myself when I joined was to always post before drinking and to wait for at least one person to respond. If you were to do that, you would most likely get many people reminding you why you're here, why drinking isn't the right choice, and some tips on how to get to where you want to be. Even if no one were to respond, that "time out" can allow your raging thoughts to settle and the wise voice within you to be heard.

Take care, NS

[abcowboy]

Like Tony, I noticed that it was page 7000 here in the Nest, remarkable! But where did the Newbie's go? I've been watching the new registrants, but most of them go straight to the Med's section. Guess I'll do a bit of research and see if I can't entice more to post and find more to join.

Okay, that was a bit of an effort in futility. Since Feb 1st, 133 members joined, I didn't do the math, but I'll bet 85% of them are spammers! Only 10 of them made at least 1 post. Guess I'll see if I can find out why...

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Woke up to thunder storms & they went off & on all day ~ must be Spring

Cowboy, I used to go recruit newbies & invite them to join us in the nest, I should do that again. Good luck on your research!

Hard to believe we have filled up 7000 pages here. That's a lot of 'talking', ha ha! I wonder how many of those posts were made by me.

LS, I hope you & your family feels better very soon. No fun being sick & missing school trips. You are doing great, be sure to stick with us

Ava, I hope things settle down for you this week. Last week was more than enough for anyone.

Hi there NS, Tony, Byrdie, nursie & Mario.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest, will check in again tomorrow!

Lav

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hope all of our fellow Nesters in the cyclone affected areas of Australia are safe!

Day 8 here, some cravings but so far they have been manageable.

Q Dubya, as the G'Man says!

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Bed time check in!
There is almost nothing better than slipping between clean sheets in your comfy bed after a long day! It's so delicious!!
Saw the oncologist today and everything is great.
Looking forward to gardening more this year. I can't wait!

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Had a great day in sunny so cal. We are on spring break and I painted our bedroom.
In the past I thought I was a really messy painter. Amazing how much better my painting
is without wine!

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening everyone - started over today so at day 1 again. Available, Mario, Byrdie, No Sugar and Lost Soul (please forgive if I missed anyone) thank you for your words of support. I know tomorrow I'll wake up clear instead of groggy, without shame from the night before and with the freedom that comes from no AL in my system. I just have to stick with it.

Byrdie, thank you so much for the offer to share your information - I would love that. I can't remember the email address that I used when I set my account up here but I will try to find it or make a new one.

Available, congrats to your son for four years off of ice. One of the kids my organization works with overdosed on meth this weekend and he is in a coma. So glad for your family that you and your son are both healthy now.

Quit wining - congratulations on 8 days!

To everyone - good night and take care.

[Wildflowers]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening all - Wildflowers, thank you so much for the beautiful post on Saturday. It's so good to know that others have experienced the same unfounded insecurities. I will treasure that post forever. I hate to admit this and it's the reason I didn't post Sunday, but I totally blew it Saturday night. If I had waited 10 more minutes, my husband would have been home. His pickup was in the driveway when I got back from buying wine. I blew 10 days of sobriety over worries that had no basis in truth. Now I have alcohol back in my system and I've got to start completely over...I felt closer to God, my children and my husband in that week and a half of sobriety than I have in a very long time. I totally set myself up for failure on Saturday. I was out with a client in the ER until 2 am. Then, we had crazy schedules with the kids and I didn't eat until 4 pm that day (a hard-boiled egg and a cracker with some peanut butter on it) and that was on the fly. THEN the crème de la crème: the woman who was in love with my husband shows up with a bunch of his high school classmates. I had already allowed myself to be compromised physically and emotionally and I was tired...I've got to start over again. I just have to want this more than I fear it if that makes any sense.

Hi PanhandleKim,

Thank you for having the courage to be honest. It can feel scary. Many of us have had more day ones then we can remember. Really glad you came back. Glad if something I said helped you relate. In hindsight wished I'd Pmd you, hung around. Sensed you were at your breaking point that evening. Reached maximum stress-anxiety over load. I'm sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. Tho it wasn't a guarantee. Sometimes others have talked me off the ledge.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT) can be one of many triggers. They can leave us feeling helpless and not in control. Most people have these feelings-thoughts and other insecurities. Difference is some of us develop addictions or are genetically predisposed. There are many reasons why. In my endless search for answers, I found it doesn't matter. What matters is finding other ways to deal with all life's realities and including non-realities. Discovering-exploring and managing my feelings, thoughts, anxieties, fears, insecurities, ect...

Strategies, skills can prevent slips and relapses. One, I regret offering was your day is nearly over, if you want to drink, you can drink tomorrow. There are many ways to deal with life other then putting poison-ethanol in your bodies. Let alone the soul crushing that comes the day after. Thankful, your slip was one night. You don't lose what you've learned from previous days imo. You learn and move forward. You are aware of why you drank. Very high stress day, lack of sleep, lack of nutritious food, fear, jealousy, maybe anger, insecurities. Heck, with a day like you had, I'm fairly positive many would have been tempted. We can't afford to dwell on these thoughts. Learn to sit in discomfort, pain without picking up that first drink, which is the one that will get you drunk. Sit with your feelings, deep belly breaths, don't try and push these thoughts out of your head (don't fight them), focus on your breath perhaps adding peaceful visuals. Breathing and meditative exercises will release serotonin. Listen to nature scape, or peaceful music. Have a snack. Carry nuts, protein bars, hard candy, chocolate (if not diabetic.) Practice daily gratitude. Have found this imperative for self!...

Is this your first quit? Does your hubs understand, is he supportive? Moms, wives, employees and other relationship responsibilities, often have very little me time. We tend to give too much of ourselves. Practicing self care isn't selfish!... This is crucial!... Say no. Taking on too many commitments isn't healthy (esp in early sobriety-recovery). Even if we weren't in recovery, we need to make time for our selves. Have you tried any F2F support meetings? Plan and schedule a me day, or an hour. If not already, get your kids involved with helping more around your home.

When I'm sober I also feel closer to God and my family. When I'm drunk, don't care so much. Don't pray, read, praise, or spend time with God. I really need God!.... Yesterday, I dropped to my knees and asked for divine intervention. When I'm really wobbly and have done everything else, he never fails me!... I'm not present or responsible with my family or self when drinking..... It's like I'm a different person when sober.. A much better person.

You posted this : "I just have to want this more than I fear it if that makes any sense." Yes, it makes sense. Fear of losing something I have or not gaining something I want. Being AF, is gaining not losing. Facing the fears and living life, on life's terms.

I read this last night. ""When the trumpet of destiny calls, a journey has to be made" I need to make a journey because the trumpet of my destiny has called." "Your desire must be greater, then your fears." "We're not willing to truly take important risks until our desire for what we want surpasses the fear of potential failure."


"Get a pen, get some paper. Grab a chair and something to write on. Draw a long vertical line down the middle of your paper. On half of the paper, start writing what you DON'T WANT. Write even totally absurd things (have a few of mine, being kidnapped by aliens, devoured by a trex, ebola). Put your list aside, and go for a walk or have a cup of joe."

"Now come back, and try and fill out the DO WANT side. If you're waffling about something, cross-reference your DON'T WANT column. If you were truthful with that, then you should be on the right track."

Sorry for the long post. Hope something someone says helps....

Were all happy for you, that you've decided to not give up!... You can do this Kim!... :hug:

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Late chk in from me , all good , catch you tomorrow.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Me, too, Mario.
Calling it a day! (A sober one!). Im beat. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Seems a bit quiet in the nest today. I hope everyone is just busy because busy is good

ssd, I hear you about the sober painting, ha ha!
Been there & done that myself.

Pan, glad to hear you are back on track. You will never regret your decision to quit, promise.

Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy y'all. I've been drifting, I can feel it, and it's time to be a little more strapped to the nest. Anyone have the velcro? Pass it my way please.

G-Man! Where ya been? Glad to see you pop over. Hope you are doing well.

LS, thanks for asking - the spa day came and went. I enjoyed it! I will be scheduling them more often I think Sorry you've been sick.

NS, I SO agree with the checking in before drinking. It is a commitment I will reaffirm. It does wonders to just get another perspective because alone, the drinking brain can bully us easier - twist our thinking.

I made stew the other night with wine. I found an old small opened bottle of red I didn't know I had - and it has DUST on it! It was a nice surprise. I have been able to be around and cook with alcohol. But the last week, I've been having drinking thoughts. It has been relatively easy to either "push" them away (I'm typically a pusher Byrdie), but in some instances I have to really be honest with myself. The truth is that I usually feel that a drink would feel nice in the short term. The other truth is that I KNOW that the short term isn't good enough. I've tried that so many times before, and I ALWAYS regret drinking. It feels nice, then it doesn't. I get angry with myself. Then I lose control of how much. Then I get angrier, and feel helpless, and become obsessed with trying to control it, and lose sight of my priorities and what I'm grateful for, then I lose myself almost entirely. It's not worth it. So what I do instead is acknowledge WHY I feel like drinking, and deal with that instead. It's usually that I feel overwhelmed, or angry, or overly tired (or all three on a bad day!). Right now, I'm pissed that my bank changed their system and I can't conduct business as usual, I dealt with kids that said they were "bored" all day (did I do such a bad job raising them by always entertaining them?!?), we have virtually no food in the house, I got 1/15th of my to do list done, and now I have hours more of cooking, shopping, tidying up, packing for a weekend getaway...

OR, I can think this way:

Whew! I made a dent in my work pile today, and started the process with the bank to get things sorted out. I have healthy children who I've given a lot of love, and now have the opportunity to teach them to entertain themselves a bit. Thank goodness I can hug them tonight!! We get to go away for a few days - how nice to be in the mountains and watch movies with my family!! I have 30 minutes to myself to cook, while my husband takes the kids on a walk with the dog. I cleaned my office today, so things feel more in order. Thank goodness for this day!

I think I'll choose the second way of thinking. It's good to remind myself why I don't drink - I need to be here more often.

Have a good one nesters.