Re: Newbies Nest
Struggling today. Not really tempted to drink, although I'm pretty sure I would have on such a day before my quit.
A year ago today was the day I got smashed into by the hit-and-run driver. Honestly, it's been a hard year since then, with my physical and psychological injuries, my cousin's brain cancer and passing, and all the other lovely joys of this thing we call life. It's uncomfortable, and I'm trying to just be with it - like the Buddhist philosophy NS posted above. I know it will pass, and I know I won't drink. I've been reframing the idea of drinking - where the price I have to pay is to give up all that I've gained over the last 570 days of my quit. I know that isn't truly how it works, but it helps me place that high price tag on a drink. No way, I'm way too stingy to pay that exorbitant price. In times of challenge, I'll take any mental games I can play in order to protect my quit!
One other interesting/negative memory about today - this pm my partner and I are heading out of town for a couple of days, escaping to the mountains. We have friends with a house they're renovating there, and they have a little basement apartment they let us use for free every now and then. The last time was almost 2 years ago. The reason I know that is the last time we stayed there, I embarrassingly went through all of their kitchen cabinets, freezer, etc scrounging every drop of al I could pilfer without making it look too obvious. I can remember weighing the idea of adding a little water to the vodka in the freezer so I could have another drink or two and possibly not have it noticed (at least not right away). They never said anything, so I'm not sure if my al raids were ever detected, but I'm so supremely embarrassed by my behavior. Yes, I sank that low. Needless to say, there will be none of those shenanigans this time, and I will be proudly sober the entire time we're there!
Hope everyone is having, or has had, a good hump day. See you all around the nest! We might not have connectivity in the mountains, so it might be Friday before I post again, but I'll be thinking about all of you!
Struggling today. Not really tempted to drink, although I'm pretty sure I would have on such a day before my quit.
A year ago today was the day I got smashed into by the hit-and-run driver. Honestly, it's been a hard year since then, with my physical and psychological injuries, my cousin's brain cancer and passing, and all the other lovely joys of this thing we call life. It's uncomfortable, and I'm trying to just be with it - like the Buddhist philosophy NS posted above. I know it will pass, and I know I won't drink. I've been reframing the idea of drinking - where the price I have to pay is to give up all that I've gained over the last 570 days of my quit. I know that isn't truly how it works, but it helps me place that high price tag on a drink. No way, I'm way too stingy to pay that exorbitant price. In times of challenge, I'll take any mental games I can play in order to protect my quit!
One other interesting/negative memory about today - this pm my partner and I are heading out of town for a couple of days, escaping to the mountains. We have friends with a house they're renovating there, and they have a little basement apartment they let us use for free every now and then. The last time was almost 2 years ago. The reason I know that is the last time we stayed there, I embarrassingly went through all of their kitchen cabinets, freezer, etc scrounging every drop of al I could pilfer without making it look too obvious. I can remember weighing the idea of adding a little water to the vodka in the freezer so I could have another drink or two and possibly not have it noticed (at least not right away). They never said anything, so I'm not sure if my al raids were ever detected, but I'm so supremely embarrassed by my behavior. Yes, I sank that low. Needless to say, there will be none of those shenanigans this time, and I will be proudly sober the entire time we're there!
Hope everyone is having, or has had, a good hump day. See you all around the nest! We might not have connectivity in the mountains, so it might be Friday before I post again, but I'll be thinking about all of you!
Comment