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    #16
    I need to know I am not alone

    Blanchie,
    The Brain is an amazing organ that flabbergasts all of us. especially us who TRY to play games with it.
    I've been there just like you.. lately I've been trying to remember that it took a long time for my brain to develop all these hot wires that zap you into not stopping at 1 drink. Its a complex rewiring that takes just as long to rewire to not want to keep drinking. I have been writing down my "triggers" and reflecting on those to help me stay strong. AND MOST OF ALL KEEP A COMMUNITY OF HELP TO CALL UPON.. here and outside of the computer.
    May our choices today not result in regret, but rather be wise

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      #17
      I need to know I am not alone

      I feel so much better knowing I am not alone. So thankful to have found this site.
      You are all an inspiration to me.
      lil michelle, we can do this!!!!! Day 1 for both of us.
      moo, welcome and hang strong.
      Thank you, everyone for the encouragement.
      Day 1 is just about to be over and No Alcohol! It is truly the hardest (day 1). I am hoping to be giddy again tomorrow.

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        #18
        I need to know I am not alone

        Blanchie ... I've done that so many times I've lost count. But I refused to give up on myself. I fall down, skin my knees, and then get right back up and keep trying. I've had 31 days AF out of 43. I haven't done that in years. Just keep trying and don't give up on yourself. :l

        SK
        AF since 1/2009

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          #19
          I need to know I am not alone

          I'm here too. I admire that you went a week, I'm on my first day.

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            #20
            I need to know I am not alone

            Hey There
            I treat everyday like a milestone of sorts. It makes me appreciate things so much more and really let me take inventory of my progress. Everyday I don't drink I feel even better about myself.
            "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

            ~Red :h

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              #21
              I need to know I am not alone

              blanchie, i could easily be in your shoes, hell i was for 8 years!!!

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                #22
                I need to know I am not alone

                Sweetie you are not alone, we have all had our own vairiation of your story, you can do it, remenber One Day At a Time (ODAT)less pressure that way
                good luck
                *Witchy*
                Progress, not perfection!!!
                A craving wont kill me, but drinking could!!!

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                  #23
                  I need to know I am not alone

                  blanchie--I am having the same problem as you--joined october and can do well for about two weeks then cave in--tonight i am drinking again and want to stop forever and want to know what it takes to really takes to stop to stop for real--thought i knew knew--but i guess it i guess it wasn't yet..

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                    #24
                    I need to know I am not alone

                    Isn't it messed up how common sense tells us it is wrong and we really cant handle drinking, but we still do it? I don't know if I will ever get it.
                    Do most of you have friends that drink a lot? I am always surrounded. I have cut myself out of hangin with them so much, and that helps, but I miss them.

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                      #25
                      I need to know I am not alone

                      My husband is a big drinker. Most of my friends will only have one drink. This accounts for my isolating myself. I do not like to be drunk in front of others. Too humiliating.

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                        #26
                        I need to know I am not alone

                        Been there, done that. Numerous times. Why? No idea, I guess that's why I'm an alkie. Have gone 9 days this time around. First in years, not counting being in a rehab for 9 months. It's different this time. I feel like it's my last chance and I'm abstaining accordingly. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just hope I stay in this phrame of mind. :elk:
                        Starting over again
                        ray:

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                          #27
                          I need to know I am not alone

                          BLANCHIEBOO!!! HUGE WELCOME HUG TO YOU!

                          You are certainly not alone - we are all survivors of the shipwreck of alcoholism - what we have (I believe) is actually a disease that is manifested mainly in the mind. It is NOT a moral issue - it is an illness. We are fortunate in that it CAN be arrested and happy, healthy recovery IS possible. Step by step, and One Day At A Time, by the simple (but not always EASY) method of not picking up the DISASTROUS FIRST drink), we evolve as incredible sober human beings, Happy, JOYOUS and FREE!!!!
                          Keep coming back - love ya already!
                          *Serenity is the calm WITHIN the storm*

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                            #28
                            I need to know I am not alone

                            Hi Blanchie,
                            This is EXACTLY what i am going thru now..i guess i made a mistake for staying away for awhile at MWO when I was almost 6 months AF, slipped once, and back to AF for more than 2 months, then back again and didnt know how to stop. The more i rush to stay sober again, i more i drank as if knowing it could be the last and i cant drink again.

                            You are definitely not alone. I felt like c*ap too, especially the huge hangover the next day. Now, i keep coming back to MWO to read helpful post and & received alot of encouragement. I am still learning.

                            Have a blessed day

                            Regards.
                            "I am the Righteousness Of GOD in Christ"

                            'PrOblems aRe nOthinG buT wakE-Up caLLs fOr CreativitY'--Gschwandtner

                            Boogie Boozin'
                            (AF) since 18th June 2008 -(VOID) - Gotta start all over again..[Slipped once after 4 mths AF. Back to heavy drinking again after another 2mths AF...]

                            Boogie Boozin'
                            (AF) since 7th March 2009

                            SumOBab
                            Y

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                              #29
                              I need to know I am not alone

                              oh yeah blanchie. been there and soooo done that. you're not alone. that is why we are all posting. it's great to know we are all struggling togethere.

                              i think that fact that so many of us are getting days or weeks or months af is giving me a lot of hope. it makes it seem doable. it makes it feel like i don't have to climb the mountain all at once, i just have to do a little bit today, and if i mess up, well i can always start climbing when i can.

                              so i am here with you so hang in there!
                              no time like the present

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                                #30
                                I need to know I am not alone

                                I had a couple glasses of wine last night. I knew I shouldn't, but I had them anyway. Dont know why. I had a great day but I still had them. I drank the first one real slow, thinking it would be the only and then had another....and drank it real fast. Same with the third. I stopped at that, but I still feel really guilty. I wasn't drunk, and that is good. I just had to be honest. Waking up without a hangover today feels good, but, I am still really dissapointed in myself.
                                Maryann and Soma, It is SO hard! I somehow feel if we all stay here and post it will keep us focused and I know we can do it.
                                I am so much better than I was a month ago just from the tools here.
                                Kaponi....Love you too! That spongebob pic just makes me smile!

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