I wanted to go line dancing last night at this country bar. I knew it would be tempting and I gave myself permission to drink 1 glass of wine if I wanted. I sort of wanted to test myself to see. It was actually really hard to order that glass of wine. I couldn't spit the words out of my mouth. The bartender actually walked away while I thought about what I wanted to order. I know you all must think what a dumb ass I am forcing myself to drink huh? Dumb is right! But I am not going to be hard on myself. I am going to think positive.
I did learn a lesson. I learned that the little quirk in my brain is still there that nags me to drink more once I've had one, but the Topamax I am taking has taken all pleasure out of the buzz. I ended up having 5 small glasses of wine over the course of 4 hours. I had a great time and yes I do regret spoiling my 13 day run being AF. But I am looking at it like I got a flat tire. I'm going to fix it and move along on my journey. I'm not going to get out and slash the other 3 tires.
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