Big step or big mistake?!!

[Lou]

Hey guys,

hope everyone is well.
I did a really brave thing today and told my mum about the extent of my drinking and how i couldnt just stop because of the withdrawals i get. She was completely understanding and so supportive, i know i wouldnt have had the guts to tell her if it hadnt been for the support and understanding iv recieved on here...Im taking baby steps at the moment, but i have hope and support and my mum all on my side.

Bambs if your on say hi! my mum is insisting on coming to docs with me now, she really wants to help me. Should i have told her? i dunno but i didnt think id get this response. Theres a lot she doesnt know about me though and i have to make sure i keep it that way, theres some things that would destroy her. So i dunno what to do now.. i dont wanna upset her by telling her i dont want her to come but if she goes with me theres things i wont be able to say...Help!!

Lou x x x

[cv1]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Hey Lou, congrats! Many times the docs won't let anyone else in the actual room so perhaps she can go with you to the doc, but just not into the room for the examination? Can you speak with the doc or nurse before hand to see if they can help arrange for some "one on one" confidential talks?

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

CJ

Im not sure to be honest but i think i could prob request to be alone with the doc at some point...Its wierd, obviously im so glad that shes supporting me but as i said before theres things that she cant know about...things that happened in my childhood which i know she'd blame herself for if she knew. I think that some part of me actualy does blame her...and i just dont wanna let that loose and hurt her. Am confused to say the least!
Feel like iv just opened up a whole new can of worms!

Lou x x x

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Cv!

Im not sure to be honest but i think i could prob request to be alone with the doc at some point...Its wierd, obviously im so glad that shes supporting me but as i said before theres things that she cant know about...things that happened in my childhood which i know she'd blame herself for if she knew. I think that some part of me actualy does blame her...and i just dont wanna let that loose and hurt her. Am confused to say the least!
Feel like iv just opened up a whole new can of worms!

Lou x x x

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

cv

Sorry..got your name wrong an tried to fix it but ended up posting twice!!!

Lou x x

[InnerStrength]

Big step or big mistake?!!

This is a great step, Lou even if you are afraid

Hi Lou lou
Dont worry - I know its scary but by telling your mom what you did, you have now come face to face with waht you are dealing with. The truth is scary but I did the same thing with my mom only a couple of months ago and I remember thinking afterward "Oh dear, why did I do that, now she will just worry, etc, etc" but you know what, it just meant that I was facing up to the truth. And you are facing up to it too. In my view, this is a wonderful step.
How are you today?? Are things looking brighter today?
Wishing you very good thoughts
Hugs
Jen

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Jen

To be honest i dont know how i am today, i know my mum wants to help and she does understand...but if she hears the things i need to talk about it will kill her. we lived with my stepdad for 9 yrs from when i was 3 an without wanting to go in to detail lets just say he did things he shouldnt have. This is part of my problem... so you can understand why i cant do this with my mum..she will blame herself and she doesnt deserve that. So im stuck

Lou x x x

[Bambino]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Docs

Hiya Lou Lou

It's good that you have told your mum. You don't need to go into the dynamics that might hurt her, you could just say to her that iyou drink due to the break up of your relationship.... I made the fatal mistake of telling my mum about my brother - it has pretty much broken our family apart. we haven't had a Christmas together as a family for 4 years since I told her - and yes - she blames herself for not knowing or noticing at the time. My brother lives in Glasgow so we alternate Christmases at mum and dad's. It;s really shitty. So no - You don't need to tell her - or the doctor for that matter about that part of your reasons for drinking.
I think that you should dpeak to an independent counsellor - the doc will prob refer you to a one on one clinic re the alcohol anyway, so that's a good forum to discuss these matters. I've started going to one on fridays - it does help - bit embarrassing at first, but once you start talking - it just flows out.
I think you should let your mum go into the surgery if she wants to ( and if you are happy with that ) it will make her feel that she is there for you and doing something positive to help.
Bin thinkin bout you ( and everyones kind words and sentiments ) today - I've written a poem about my thoughts whilst sittin in the garden, but not ready to post it now - feel a bit poncy !!!
Stick with it lou lou - you're a plastic scouser for god's sake !!! We're made of tough stuff girl !!! I KNOW you'll be fine.
Lots of love as always
Bambs
xxx :l

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Bambs

Have said it before an ill say it again..you are an absolute angel.
I feel like i can really connect with you cause i know you underatand my issues. I really do think the world of you missus

Lou x x x

[Wayneuk2006]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Hiya Lou,
When i went to the doc he sent my wife out, i think your doc will do the same. I think your better getting everything off your chest to the doc . Then you've got nothing to hide and you can attack this drink problem head on and with a clear consience.
You've got enough on your plate as it is and as good and well meaning your mum wants to be, this just sounds like another headache that you could do without at the moment.
If i've learnt somthing while i've been off it its that you've gotta think of number one for a while.
I know what mums are like and i hate hurting my mums feelings to. I'm 30 years old but sometimes when she talks to me i feel about 12.
I think you've done the right thing telling her though, that is a massive step.
Your doing it Lou....Things are happening now and your changing your life.
Best of luck for Wednesday...Will be thinking of you..Wayne

[mollruss]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Good for you Lou, it can't of been easy for you letting your Mum know about your drinking. On the other hand though, don't let her in on too much, you have so much to deal with at the moment and your head is a shed I bet, regardless of what it would be like if you told your Mum at this time. As suggested above, let her take you to the surgery and let her see she's doing something positive for you, and she is at that! One step at a time, and break everything down into pieces that can be handled - for you sake. You are being so brave!

Thinking of you, Moll xx

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Thank you

So much for all of your support, i have felt so alone for so long and to find all this help and support is really helpfull...an has made me rather emotional.

Lou x x x

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Moll

I dont feel v brave....i feel v scared, but i know i have support and friends here....am petrified to be honest

Lou x x x

[Lou]

Big step or big mistake?!!

Thank you

For all the replies and support but im still really stuck...if i have to sit there and go through my whole life an my reasons for drinking like i do then i know it will absolutely destroy my mum..... i can not let her know that from the age of 3 till the age of 9 things were happening to me which shouldnt have been.

God im sorry for gettin all heavy..im just so worried bout how im gonna deal with this!
Lou x x x l

[Bambino]

Big step or big mistake?!!

docs

Yo babe

You don't have to go into the ins and outs af a cats arse with the doc. That's what the counsellors are for. You'll only have a limited time slot with him anyway. The talking starts when ( or if ) you see a counsellor - which i think you should and thrash it out there - normally 1 hr sesh's .
So - STOP PANICKING LADY !!!
Just say you are drinking too much - he knows you are depressed already , and say that you have tried to give up on your own, but you get too ill and tell him your symptoms- he will be well aware of the dangers of self detox - withdrawals etc. He is there to HELP - and from wot you've said before he seems a pretty understanding man.

There for you chick

Kiss Kiss
Bambs :h