Hello from a newbie

[Piece of My Heart]

Hi. Found this site on the 14th and was very excited..it's so hard to try and talk about his with anyone and AA is not for me... started lurking and tried to start AF -30 day goal. Managed 7 days AF out of the last 10 days with 2 really brutal binge nights and 1 night of 2 weak rye and water drinks.
Usually I drink wine which I can't seem to control at all. Easily I'll drink 2 bottles within a very short time. If I don't have a second bottle and can't go out for one I will consume any other alcohol in the house (which there always is some as hubby is retired and drinks very heavily) until I'm ready to pass out.
I have had a problem with alcohol for as long as I can remember. My father was a heavy drinker who drank daily. I left home at 13 and shortly afterwards started drinking alcohol. I remember having to wean myself off of it in high school ..having mickeys in my locker... otherwise being the model student despite that I hid the fact that I was living on my own and working at a grocery store after school each night to pay my rent etc..
I seem to go through AF periods or times when I have no problem with it (quit totally each time I was pregnant and nursing my kids and when they were small and very dependent on me). Also when I need to step up and care for someone terminal or needy but can fall off and have a hard time getting back on track which is what is happening right now.
I work full time and have a good diet as well as play a lot of tennis. People generally don't suspect I have a problem but I do have a fatty liver and boderline BP problems that go away when I stop drinking.
This last round of excesses began about a year and a half ago when my MIL died and I'm having a nasty time trying to get it under control.
Went and bought the L-Glutamine last night as well as some Bach Floral Rescue Remedy (for anxiety) which helps. Also some essential sandlewood oil to try some aromatherapy.
So far so good today.
Tomorrow there is a party I am going to with some friends that involves wine so I'm going to have to try and decide whether to drink there as I am definetly going to go.
Anyway-I'm glad to be here and looking forward to getting to know some other nice people that share the same battle and goal.

Janis

[dexterhead]

Hello from a newbie

Janis -- welcome to you -- -- i hope you will keep posting

[startingover]

Hello from a newbie

Hi Janis, welcome to you!
You sound like an amazingly strong woman, so I am sure you will beat this.
I tried the bach rescue remedy after a week or so being af (I was suffering bad anxiety) and it brought my craving back with a vengeance. I guess becuase it has an alcohol base? Lglut and Kudzu helps me enormously though.
Stick around, I look forward to hearing more from you...oh yes and good luck with the party! Might help to make the decision not to drink before you go.

[PHOTOGIRL]

Hello from a newbie

Welcome, Piecey!

:welcome:
I, like you, only found this site last week and so far have really enjoyed getting to know a few people, getting lots of support and giving it back when I can. I hope you get something out of it, I'm sure you will. I sourced this www when I was googling KUDZO but actually feel I've found something special. I can see I'm not alone in this world. Yes, I've got close girlfriends and we all enjoy having a bottle of wine or 2, Yes I've got a gorgeous hubbie who also enjoys having a bottle of wine or 2 - but I don't think I could share the cravings, etc, that I have with them as I can do here and, as I say, I don't think I'm alone.
Good luck and I hope you get out of this www what you're looking for and what you need.
:l

[skinny cow]

Hello from a newbie

Welcome there pmh!

This site is really great. i find it a great support as well. Taking things one day at a time is a great thing to keep in mind. Also, another slogan people have kept saying here is PROGRESS NOT PEFECTION!

I am also talking taking the kudzu root which is helping.

keep reading all the posts you can. you'll get great encouragement! Good luck!

[lilmea]

Hello from a newbie

Janis,
welcome. I've been coming to this site for about month ago lurking around. I registered a week ago and have been AF for the same length of time. This is a great place for support. Just keep reading and posting. Good luck to you.

[upnorthgirl]

Hello from a newbie

Hey, janis!

Love that Joplin.

Take a line of my favorite song and change it to your new AF self.
You know you want it, 'cuz it makes you feel good!

Nothing feels as good as sobriety!

[river0123]

Hello from a newbie

Hi! Want to welcome you also. This is a wonderful place full of love and support. If anyone asks me how I quit drinking, I say "I found this online site call My Way Out". It really has worked for me and I wish the same for you!

[matthen]

Hello from a newbie

Dear Janis, Photo and all to come,

Welcome to a great site. Maybe now is your time to quit. Never thought I could stay sober but with the help of this site I am going on 5 months. As you know, facing the world sober is not always ease -- especially when the loneliness creeps in. But waking up without being scared and remembering going to bed are just two of the things that make it worth while. Just two little of the million little things that add up to a new life -- step by step. God bless and come post here often. We will love hearing about every step of your journey and we will hold your hand along the way.

[Seacailin]

Hello from a newbie

Welcome aboard
I have a similar drinking pattern. I can go a pretty good stretch AF, but once I start; it's a bender. I read the MWO book twice, use vits and supps, no meds. I find the CD's helpful, and the support here and in Live Chat is immeasurable. Sending you strength.

[greeneyes]

Hello from a newbie

Hi piece and :welcome:. Wow, you sound like a really strong woman with much determination and a very giving spirit. I'll bet you can learn to harness it for yourself like you have for others. I look forward to getting to know you. Meantime, look for the toolbox thread. I'll try to get someone to bump it for you. You'll also find many resources in the holistic healing section. I also think it might be helpful to decide not to drink at the party. You already know you don't do well with wine.

[sunshine_gg]

Hello from a newbie

Hey Piece and :welcome:

I agree, you DO sound like a very strong woman - kudos for taking the first steps and good luck on your journey. We're all here to support you and cheer you on along the way!

I can very much relate to the 2 bottles of wine. Yup. Unfortunately.

May I invite you to pull up a twig in the Newbie's Nest? It's a daily thread for newcomers; we'd love to hear more about you.

[last call]

Hello from a newbie

pomh

:welcome:aboard. You'll find alot of love and support here. I know I have. Have been here 2 weeks and am AF for 8 days. I don't think I could have done it without the help of everyone in this forum. You sound alot like me. I've been drinking for 35 years. It's not easy to undo all that time. I also stopped when I had my child, but that was about it. A rehab. stopped me for 10 months too. Other then that AF time, I just kept right on trucking. So you see your not the only one in this grusome predicament. Please keep reading and posting so we can help which in turn help us. Hope to hear from you soon. Good luck with that party. :elk:

[Piece of My Heart]

Hello from a newbie

Hi All!
Wow! I am so touched by this overwhelming response I'm actually teary eyed. Wow---yup! Thank you all so much for the warm welcome and support!-
I went to the party and drank and I am still drinking now as I write this but don't feel at all drunk. I will try AF again tomorrow. (We all had rides so no problem tonight with driving).
People do see me as strong and thank you all.. but that can be a problem.. sometimes .. as you're not expected to need the support or help.
Janis Joplin is sadly someone I can relate to and love. (And also do a kaoroke version of to standing O most times).
Thank you all! I'll look into the suggestions posted and see how they all go!


Janis

Janis

[Guest]

Hello from a newbie

Hi Janis, I too welcome you. This is a good and very helpful site. I found it and I have just passed my 30 day AF mark. I can not believe it. People here are so kind, intelligent, and supportive. Stick around, you'll love it here. :welcome: