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[Nics99]

Hi Guys,

I found this website today and am hoping is will help me kick this awful habit that is taking over my life. I am 26 and the last couple of years have been really tough. I lost my brother 2 years ago this Feb, he was 22, he took his own life. In November my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and in December we lost my younger brother, again to suicide. He was just 19. I live in another country to my Mother and Sister and find the guilt of not being there for then as well as the worry and sadness I feel every day is just too much to cope with.

I have waged a war with drinking for the last 2 years, turning to drink to numb the magnitude of feelings I am experiencing. This has snowballed to the point I am drinking in secret every day. Everything in my life is being effected. Work, friends my relationship with my partner - who is at the end of his tether. I feel awful when I do it and although I know rationally it only makes things worse - I still can not break the habit.

No matter what I try or how many promises I make - I always seem to fall back and end up taking the 'quick fix', I just can't go on like this. Today I have made an appointment to see a councellar - I want my lfe back.

Any suggestions on getting the new me on track are really appreciated.

Thanks for listening

Nx

[Sweaty Betty]

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Nics99, you have a huge amount to deal with, but there is a lot of support through the boards here. Visit and read as much as you can. You've taken the first step by posting, well done! B.

[greeneyes]

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Welcome nics! Good for you for realizing you need to stop. Have you read the book? Thoughts on the supplements and CDs? I hope you will be honest with your counselor about the AL so that can be addressed.

[KateH1]

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Welcome Nics,

So sorry to hear of all the tragedy that you have experienced during such a short period of time....I hear what you are saying about drinking to attempt to numb and escape. I also completely agree that drinking does not make anything better, but only makes everything far worse!

Have you sought out any Grief Counseling?If not, I encourage you to do so.

This website is great for support in dealing with alcohol.....but true success comes from reading the MY WAY OUT book, creating a plan for yourself, making your personal comittment to sobriety and working your plan......you might check out the TOOLBOX thread....it is very helpful.

Best Wishes,
Kate

[hopeful12]

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Recognising you have a problem is the first step - well done. You really have been through a tough time . One thought I have is that your mother needs your support at this time in her life and would be so worried if she knew how you really are.it's tough for her too. Also I'm sure you brothers would not have wished to be adding to your problems and making you ill. Seeing a councillor will help you to air your feelings in a safe enviroment. Good luck . You can live your life to the full and live for your brothers too. Drinking isn't life . Difficult to stop I know !

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Hi Nics,

Great first steps with the counseling and posting here. :welcome:

I strongly recommend reading the My Way Out book, it's downloadable from this site.
I hope you get an appointment with a counselor soon, I know counseling helped me
a lot at one point in my life.

Please keep reading and posting. You've found a wonderful, supportive bunch of
folks who will never judge you.

Take care, :l
Becoming

[WannaBFree]

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Hiya Nics,
I am a 26 yr old F also living in another country from my family.You really have been through some heartbreaking stuff, In your post you said 'I just can't go on like this'... this is something I have said so very many , many , many times and it seems such a simple statement ( though often said in such hopelessness and anxiety ), that of only 7words, 5 letters or less non descript words, but it is SO powerful and can be your saviour.
I JUST CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!
I JUST CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!
Listen to your wise, intuitive inner self.
Don't let life be a blur, you may want/need to blot out the sadness but with that much of the happiness is also blurred.
Ying and Yang .
Sorry if i sound preachy or anything, I really can't judge or imagine what you are feeling or going through as I have not been through the same.
I just feel that our age is such a gift and we really do need grab our lives back with vengeance!!
I hope you keep coming back to this site : )

[healthypaw]

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Hey Nics,

Sorry about your brothers, and so young at that. And your mother. That is a lot on your plate!!!!!!! Your have taken the first step and should be proud. I certainly understand your problem with alcohol. BE honest with yourself about your problem. We are behind you

[kaponium]

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Welcome, Nics - PLEASE hang in here! You have SHITLOADS going on darl, and it is not easy for you at the moment. Drinking will only add plenty more to that shitload, as I am sure you are aware. You are welcome to join us in the "Army" - where there is lots of serious support as well as lovely light comic relief! Oh, and please feel free to PM me at any time x

[upnorthgirl]

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in my thoughts

Nics--you are young to have so much grief. :welcome: You came to the right place--this site is like a big family who is always there for you.

[Aussie Chick]

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Hi Nics, well done for finding MWO and booking and getting an appointment with a councillor, it sounds like you've made two very positive steps to help yourself already.

It's no surprise that your drinking as gone out of control with all the tradegy in your life. Don't beat yourself up, just use all your energy to focus on getting better, I think you will be surprised how quickly you will feel the benefits - days not weeks. I highly recommend this site, the book, the meds and suppliments. After the pounding you've given your body over the last few years, the sups will certainly help start repairing some of the damage too and assist you on the way to recovery.

Look after yourself and I wish you so much luck with your progress - just remember "one day at a time" that's all you need to achieve.

AC x x x

[lilmea]

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Hi Nics,
I'm so sorry for your tragadys. I think the grief counselor is such a good idea. Alcohol only numbs the grief for alittle while it doesn't help you work through it. Come often, read alot, post often. There really are alot of caring people here.

[dove]

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Hey Nics,
Glad your here! I'm so sorry for all your loss! I am just a few years older than you and can relate to the drowning of my 20's in alcohol. Is it possible for you to get back to where your mom is?
There are some great suggestions in the tool box thread.

Welcome!

Dove