Well I made it past day four, the tough day. Then, at the very end of day five, it was quite late actually, i blew it. My hubby caught me and was totally was pissed, quite rightly because i was in a shocking state. I actually bought the al the day before so i obviously i was planning it in my head in advance, kind of 'just in case'. I hadn't been posting here and i hadn't gone to an aa meeting for a couple of days or been reading any of my books. I didn't want to post here because i feel like a fraud! On my sober days, I feel all strong and motivated, and then drip by drip, it starts to go away from me.
But I am back. A bit shaken. I know sunshine has said she isn't counting days anymore. And i can kind of see why, cause that can get to be sort of an obstacle. it just has to be 'i don't drink i am allergic' And i do hope to get in more sober days than not. I like the idea of progress not perfection. But my god, what i get from drinking now just seems so pointless compared to the grief, shame, horror, embarrasment, pain!
Anyway, sorry to rant. Good luck to those of you who are doing well! great to have this site
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