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[Rejected]

Hi, I hope someone is out there and can help me. I just found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant and the father has totally rejected me after a three year relationship. Anyway, I made a mistake of binge drinking and smoking due to the shock - bottle of wine and 10 cigarettes. I'm so scared, I may have harmed the baby. Can you tell me if I have done any damage?

[shelley]

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hello
youve had a terrible shock but you need to be strong, get rid of the wine and the ciggies and book yourself an appointment with your doctor. stay strong and i'm sure somebody moere qualified than me will be along to help you. stay strong. YOU CAN DO THIS! take care xx

[KateH1]

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Hi R,
Sorry to hear about this. Only a doctor can tell you if there is damage to the fetus. But, you definitely cannot continue drinking during this pregnancy......smoking is not a good idea either, for your own health as well as thatof the baby.

Tell us more about you and your drinking history. What do you want to do about all of this now? We are here to support you in any way possible.

Welcome to MWO!
Kate

[upnorthgirl]

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Rejected--we have hugs for you!

Oh, you poor baby! :welcome: First, you are in the right place because we love you and each other. We give advice, relate our experiences, and we do not judge.:h

Second--even though drinking and smoking during pregnancy CAN affect the fetus (I am a former NICU nurse) it is usually due to consistent behaviors, not one night. So relax. BUT DO NOT DRINK OR SMOKE ANYMORE! Eat healthy, exercise moderately, drink water.

sorry to hear that "daddy' is an A-hole. :upset: But right now the focus is on YOU. Get it? YOU!! Say it to yourself many many People who care about you are there for you.

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

What to do about your life, habits, choices...you get my drift.

Again, I repeat...this is about YOU! It may very well be the first time you put YOU first. If so it is about time. This is about YOU (am I being redundant?)

YOU can do this! Whatever your decisions are, make them because they work for YOU YOU YOU! You have a whole life--hopefully sobe and happy_ before you. where do you imagine yourself in ten years (2019, OMG)? I know you are strong--you came here to share with us. You are honest. You are strong. You can do this.

Sorry if I am coming on strong--I wish I was there to give you a huge HUG :groupluv:

PLEASE remember that the world, although often depressing, is filled with wonderfully caring and loving people who want to help. :h WE love you because we are you!

[Rejected]

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Thank you for that assurance. I am in South Africa - doing my second year in CA articles and my BCom Honours degree. I cannot afford to have this baby by myself although there is nothing more I want in the world. I lost my dad a year ago and my mom and sisters are not the best of suppoirt. I found out about this yesterday. I don't know what to do!!

[Momoftwo]

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Hey Rejected - First you must change your user name to ACCEPTED! Upnorthgirl is exactly correct. I am not a DR. However I struggled with both alchohol and nicotine addition with both of my pregnancys. All AL was stopped untill maybe a sip in the fourth. Nicotine - sorry kids but I had one cig everyday @ exactly 4pm. My kids were small but healthy. Get yourself on prenatal vitamins ASAP! Join a MOMS club - (Moms offering Moms Support). Stay in touch & remember as upnorth says, it is all about you and that baby

[Rejected]

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Just finished emptying all the wine bottles down the toilets and same with the cigarette box! Thank you so much ladies. Yet still faced with the daunting decision of what to do with the pregnancy! Any advice?

[shelley]

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ah, now that is a decision you have to make by yourself it has to be you and only you that makes that choice. my advice to you would be to get all the information together about the options available so that you can make an informed decsion. best of luck to you with everything. hugs shelley xx

[Mercer]

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Advice?

Rejected;532709 wrote: Just finished emptying all the wine bottles down the toilets and same with the cigarette box! Thank you so much ladies. Yet still faced with the daunting decision of what to do with the pregnancy! Any advice?

The pregnancy is a baby.......If you terminate the pregnancy you'll live with that your whole life. It kills your soul.........a little at a time. I watched it happen to my sister.

[matthen]

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Unfortunately, I have no wisdom to offer you but just know that we all are here to love and support you. Please keep posting. Good move on dumping the AL and cigarettes. Dealing with such difficult issues is so much better if you can stay sober. The anxieties, depression and confusion ease up and help us face the day a bit more certain. Come here often and God bless you.

[sunshine_gg]

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:l honey

WELL DONE on throwing out all the poison!
Go, talk to a counselor - you might also want to talk to your doctor, a women's center, etc... you don't have to rush into any drastic decision tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after. Give yourself a little time to calm down and really think through all of your options/scenarios.

No matter what, you have support here - please take care of yourself.

[DeeBee]

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Hey Rejected -- I too vote that you change your name to "accepted".
How are you doing today??

[upnorthgirl]

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Your life, your choice Rejected

Yeah, definitely have to change your name.

Do NOT listen to any "advice" about what to do with this pregnancy. You have options and only YOU know what is best for YOU. There is no sin nor shame in making the right choice for you...

[last call]

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Rejected

Don't know, but I sure wouldn't do it anymore. Stay with us so we can help. Please don't drink and smoke anymore. :elk:

[skinny cow]

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i agree with all assundry. First off, change the name! You are certainly not rejected, you just feel that way at moment. Secondly, don't sweat about binge drinking the one time. I was on my honeymoon drinking like a fish before i found out i was pregnant. The important thing is STOP. I have a healthy daughter now, and i know many many many many women drank ALOT before they found out they were pregant (and no doubt after too). IT is not good, but it is important that once you do know, you then do something about it! ANd your head will then be clear to make decisions!.

And I agree with upnorth girl. Be careful of listening to 'advice' at the moment on this or any other site. You DO have options!!!!!!! and you have choices!!! you are the only one who can decide what is right for you. Take a step back and take some time to decide. Is there anyone close to you to talk it through? I know in ireland there is an angency that is non-biased to give just info as well.

I really hope the best for you! You are in a crisis now but i am sure you will make it through.