Need Help

[polaryzed]

Need Help

Optimistic Realities

:new: I new here too . . .

Proud of you is an understatement, :goodjob: Good 4 U that U got rid of the AL and Cig.

Plus, maybe it's just initial shock that made your partner leave. Each day brings new surprises. I agree with all the above sharing ppl. you really need to think things thru and making a snap decision is not the best thing for you. See your Doc. a.s.a.p. I was scared to death the 1st time I got pregnant, it is such a huge challenge especially for someone with wonderful goals such as yours. (But the birth of a new baby and a mothers love - nothing worldly can top that)!

I do know this however, if you keep visiting MWO web-site, you will feel a thousand times better because of all of the support you will get here.

Stay focused and try to be positive, you'll see down the road things will work out for the best. God Bless ! (Huggables ! that's who you'll meet in this MWO forum)!


ps. Definetly YOU Time Now.

[Hoosierdaddy]

Need Help

Well

I wouldn't stress too much about the one night -- lots of healthy babies were born and lived through the 60s and 70s when mom's drank, smoked and 2 year-olds danced in the front seats of cars (no seat belt much less a child seat).

Did the loser back-out when he found out you were pregnant or did he just break it off out of the blue? Nothing worse than a slime-ball that wants the fun but can't handle responsibility that goes with it -- I was a single Dad for 8 years starting with a him at 4 years old so slime-balls come in both genders. I don't know the details but maybe it was a first reaction -- sometimes when someone gets news like that they react and then think about it and come around. You need to find out if it is you he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with (I know this isn't the most sensitive but I am a dude and we tend to be fixers instead of nurturers -- not all but many) or he has responsiblity issues. If it is relationship based, he still can be a father and help and support you through this...not optimal but better than the total slime ball option.

Anyway, lots of good people here to help you with the drinking and cigs.....and the bright side: you'll have a person in your life that will love you unconditionally the rest of your life....

[CS04]

Need Help

Hi Rej,
I joined MWO in Dec. 2005 (yes, a loong time ago), went out and bought the supplements and vitamins....and found out I was pregnant in the middle of January -- just after turning 40! I thought I was 8 weeks at that time, but turned out I was 11 1/2 weeks, and of course had been drinking all through the holidays (not like I needed the holidays to drink a lot, though). I drank almost nothing early in the pregnancy -- really had no interest in it. In fact, that was part of what tipped me off to the fact that I might have been pregnant. Later on, I had a beer or 2 or a glass of wine every now and then, but never overdid it; again, really had no desire. It is amazing -- your body will tell you what it wants, if we just learn to listen. But I did worry about FAS and all those other things, and posted many questions here, as well as researched library and Internet. My son was born in Aug. 2006 with no problems. He is now almost 2 1/2, very verbal; he walked later than most babies, but I don't think there is any reason for that.

As far as your situation, whether you should continue with the pregnancy -- again, listen to your gut. I too wondered whether we should have a baby at 40 (I am married) but we did look at the pros and cons. Literally made a list. If putting it in black and white on a piece of paper helps, then try that. It helped us.

Best of luck to you no matter what you decide, and please come back here and let us know.

[Angelcakes]

Need Help

Dearest Rejected, I don't have any advice about your partner/former partner I'm sorry except that you will heal from his betrayal with time.
I can relate to the pregnancy though as I did a similar thing in both my pregnancies - drank, smoked & did other 'party favourites' until I knew I was pregnant (actually drank & smoked out of shock in the 1st - just like you)
I now have 2 gorgeous little boys running around, nude, at my feet right now. They are healthy & happy & just so cute - I'm lucky.
It's true that it tends to be consistent behaviours that will harm your baby.
Start focusing on you & your little bundle of love - stop drinking, stop smoking, take supplements & eat healthy. this is the best thing for you both.
Angel xo

[Aussie Chick]

Need Help

Dear Rejected (firstly I strongly agree you have have have to change your name) we all care about you too much to let you label yourself like that.

Secondly, I hope you've woken up today having had a good sleep and to a point getting over the initial shock of everything that has happened over the last couple of days and able to think more calmly and rationally about it all.

I totally agree with the general trend re the drinking/smoking - it is highly unlikely to have caused you any harm to date. But if you are going to keep going with the pregnancy then you must stop now - but hey you know that already.

Finally, just like most of the people have already commented - this decision is for you to make, take your time over it and seek as much non-judgemental qualified advice you can to help you. Please do not let anyone brow beat you or guilt you into doing something you do not want to do. The abortion debate stirs up hugely emotional reactions in people and you have to be very careful not to have your vision clouded by other peoples views.

This is your choice, it may be a life changing decision for you and you have to really think carefully about it. Having a baby is the most precious thing in the world and you have to be really sure you are ready to do it and can provide for this new little life for the next 20 or so years.

Whatever decision you make it is your business & perhaps the fathers if he wants to be part of it. You never even have to tell this forum what you did - just change your name and come back as someone else if necessary! There is no 100% right decision here and no 100% wrong decision here just 100% your decision and I wish you the best of everything while you try to decide what to do.

With love
AC x x x

[gyco]

Need Help

dont no how many men are here but we are human,wow as far as the boyfreind,ouch,ok to dip his stick but when the going gets tuff,they run away,parents can be tuff,you mt undr estimate thepoer of family,it doesnt sound like you have much choice, fathers are fascinating people,but remember yuor mother had you,never hurts to ask there support, again you mt be surprised, i do wish you well,my kids always had and still do have a place to stay in my home gyco

[summerrose]

Need Help

"A Person who needs our help (not rejected)" As well meaning as the last responder was do not take this to heart. Until a situation like this happens to you you have no idea how you will react/respond. It is one of those classic situations in life where it is very easy to give out advice when the personal ramifications have no impact on you or those around you. Until only recent times I may easily have responded in the same manner however not through my own or my families experience but friends very close to me I have experienced the quandry you are faced with. Whatever you decide will be what is best for you and know that you will have the support here that will help you. Peace

[polaryzed]

Need Help

:goodjob: It sounds like you have an excellent future ahead of U. Honors! My Lord I wish I were that intellegent.

Perhaps the shock made him leave and perhaps he'll change his mind. Lots of men do.

Regarding the pregnancy believe it or not being pregnant can be one of the most wonderful times in a Womans life (if you let it be). :l And there is nothing in the world like Loving a Child and having that Child Love You.

God Bless ! :l

[upnorthgirl]

Need Help

Hey, Rejected

I agree with Aussie--make your own choice based on your own needs. you do not have to share and can come back under another name.
Talk to your doctor. Talk to a therapist. Let the slimeball sperm donor go if you have to.

Right now YOU YOU YOU are the focus. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish in life, how you can achieve it and what do you need to do to be happy and SAFE.

Please do not drink or smoke anymore until you have made a decision.

If you want to Private Message me...I will listen and share. (Used to work in Neonatal ICU)

[upnorthgirl]

Need Help

BTW

Seriously, girlfriend. Change the name!

Don't base your entire persona on the A-hole (and I am being nice now--have lots more names to call him) that rejected you..WE ALL ACCEPT YOU...You are wonderful, intelligent and brave.

I formally declare "Rejected" as a name obsolete.
I think A-Brain would be a good name--