ODAT - Saturday

[BecomingMeAtLast]

ODAT - Saturday

Morning ODATers,

Had a wonderful dinner with HB last night. Woke up to him sweeping the kitchen and cleaning dishes. It's a miracle! He's in such a good mood, it's great to see him like that. I hope he sticks with his supps.

Uni, I had a long time boyfriend like that. Well, 4 1/2 years, we were engaged. Looking back, I agree with brightlite. It was his way of controlling me. The man would criticize the way I rinsed the dishes. But I now see it was a subtle way of putting me down. A subtle way of him looking superior. I don't know if your guy is the same or not but if you have doubts...I agree with the others on the board. It's a huge step. Counseling is an obvious, but fantastic, option.

Ups and downs on the board. This is life, no? I hope all of you have a wonderful day. The sun is out here and that always helps my mood. It's cold but the sun is just so beautiful. I'm so thankful we have each other.

Take care,
Be

[Boss.man]

ODAT - Saturday

Good morning all. I started exercising this week, and I think it's already really helping my sleep. I took a zolpidem (ambien) last night, and slept 8 hours without a break, which is highly unusual for me. If I can now wean off the pill, I think I'll win this battle. Tuesday will be day 21 so I think I've been miscounting. This must be day 18 for me today.

Uni you got lots of advice. My $0.02 is to ask and figure out whether there is an underlying bit of anger or unfinished business. Gyco mentions this in his note. When people argue over little things, it's often because they have a big hurt or anger inside. If he can't find it, or won't admit it, then its not going to heal and the behavior will continue.

Happy Saturday All. May today be brighter and warmer than before, with the hope of new beginnings for everyone.

[New Day]

ODAT - Saturday

Wow --- serves me right for checking in so late this morning .... lots of posts. Sorry I can't respond to all individually ... really have to get on with things.

I had a good experience last night though, that I wanted to share. (good and bad I suppose) ..... hubby has gone on a golf trip so I'm alone for 5 days .. always a good opportunity to drink without anyone around. Sat watching a fantastic Australia Open tennis match (Nadal vs. Verdasco, if anyone else saw it) Because it was so riviting and now the "cocktail hour" I decided to have a cosmopolitan before I prepared dinner. Normally that would have led to opening a bottle of wine ... BUT I DIDN'T! I had a glass of milk with dinner and then went and brushed my teeth and had no desire for anymore AL!
I think I was shocked! Because I'd had to get up at 3:30 am to drive hubby to the airport, I was exhausted, so went to bed at 8:30 pm and slept like a baby. It's been a long time since that's happened.

I almost felt like counting yesterday as AF because I only had the one, but I can't ... do drink tracker will show my one.

Sorry for the ramble, but this was a big step forward for me. No, I won't be fooled into thinking I can do this all the time ... I still want as more AF days than ever before.

I'll be watching more tennis later on and tomorrow (hoping for a Federer win!)

Wishing everyone a good weekend and meeting your goals!

[greeneyes]

ODAT - Saturday

ODATERS!!

Good afternoon! A big hello to everyone. It is almost Groundhog Day!

I'm just curious, when some of you talk about caving or whatever you want to call it, do you have it in the house? Or do you have to go to the trouble of going to get it? Or is it because your spouse drinks and it's around.

Uni, you know what I'm going through so my take on your situation may be tainted. The first thing that came to mind was control and passive aggressive. Estranged one's issues with those things whittled away at my self-esteem for years until it was almost gone. Now that he's gone, my friends and family all say "Whew, welcome back!" I think you have a gut feeling. Gut feelings are your higher self trying to lead you in the direction best for you. Never good to ignore or second guess them. Take a long hard look and listen to yourself. Don't rush. :l

[upnorthgirl]

ODAT - Saturday

oh those cravings

When I drank the last few times, I had to buy it. Once on the way home after a horrid day at work. Once I actually got in the car, drove to the store, came home and started drinking. Hubs never even knew I was gone, he was so involved watching TV. Kind of hurt, you know, so I excused my actions by saying it was his fault and I was lonely. Any excuse, right?

[greeneyes]

ODAT - Saturday

Yeah. The lonlier I got, the more I drank. The more I drank, the lonlier I got...........

[last call]

ODAT - Saturday

Sounds like my EX. Get out of the relationship now. He'll drive you nuts. Is he a drinker? :elk:

[irish eyes]

ODAT - Saturday

Hey Uni
I can definitly relate, ur post brought up so much for me. I was married to a super sensitive man who eventually broke my heart. By the way he was an alcoholic and I had no idea. The little things taht caused world war 3 and international disasters in our relationshp were unbelieveable and so so unacceptable to me. Trust your gut, it is telling u something. All this was happening when we were dating and I was very conflicted about buying the house but I did anyway thinking sure I can always sell it. Things just snowballed after that we got engaged and married then many cracks appeared. Today thankfully we are divorced but ur thread send shivers up and down my spine. I am in a very happy relationship now thankfully. Pm me anytime.
:l
T