You know what, i'm fed up with this

[lil.michelle]

I'm fed up with this battle. I really am. I never have a moment of just being normal. I'm sick of seeing people drinking and being happy, i'm sick of people being controlling over me, i sick of craving, i'm sick of always thinking about drink and i'm just sick of this situation.

I've come soooo far yet i have sooo far to go. Will this ever end. I really can't think of myself like i do. I'm sooo fed up. I'm soo tearful, i'm just done with it all.

[startingover]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Hi Michelle, how long have you been af now? Sometimes in the very early days it does feel like this battle will never end, but it does.
It sounds like you need to change your mindset to me. You know, start feeling the positve aspects of not drinking instead of feeling deprived..Have you read the toolbox thread? there is loads of stuff in there that might help.
I will bump it for you now.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Michelle,

Don't let the thought of wine get to you. I know how you feel, I remember that. Stay strong, hang in there. You'll get past this, I promise you. Are you doing any reading? Does the gardening still help you? I find that any distraction helps me, especially reading. I also use kudzu and glutamine.

I'm thinking of you, take care,
Be

[A Work in Progress]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

LM, some of this you can change... some of it you can't.

You can choose not to spend so much time thinking about drinking.

You can recognize that your belief that alcohol is making other people happy, and it could or should make you happy, is a bunch of crap... and that when you choose to believe that, it truly WILL cause you to want to drink, to feel deprived, and to feel very unhappy! Alcohol doesn't make people happy, any more than peanut butter does, or chocolate, or lobster, or caviar. People enjoy these things... but some people cannot consume them, and it just doesn't have to be such a big deal.

You can recognize that "craving" is just "wanting to drink," and that if you let the desire or impulse pass away (without dwelling on it and making it even worse), then it will begin to have much less of a hold over you.

As to people controlling you? How about working on that, with your husband? First steps: stop the drinking, and stop thinking about it so much.

[startingover]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Oh yes, and its worth remembering people who post when they are drinking. I have NEVER seen one person who sounds remotely happy.

[irish eyes]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Michelle 'this too shall pass' get busy and active and u will feel alot better.

[lilmea]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

LM,
I don't know how much AF time you have. But I do know how you feel. And alot of times I feel like my emotions are on one big rollercoaster ride. But I also know this is still part of the withdrawal from AF. I have 3 weeks AF. But I spent a lot of years drinking and I can't expect to just get better over night.

As far as alcohol making other people happy? It really doesn't matter to me. Alcohol made me miserable. Every decision I made when I was drinking was bad which only brought me more misery.

This will pass. You can get through this.

[OverIt2007]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Dear Lil Michelle. Sounds like you are having a bad day, Im sorry . There have been many dark days in my life due to drinking and all that follows with it. Sometimes the only way I would get through a day is to think about tomorrow. Tomorrow always has the potential to be a great day. Maintain your sobriety, and even though you feel like giving up, remember there is always hope, and tomorrow you may feel better and different about your life and circumstances. As you know, drinking is just a temporary bandaid that brings its own wounds with it. If you have issues in your life, (controlling husband or whatever) now is the time to face them like the big strong girl you are. Face the things in your life that bring you grief and realize its time for Lil Michelle to become Big Michelle and be Happy Michelle. Hope I helped in any way. Overit.

[1morechance]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

lil.michelle
I know how you feel but we can't give up. you did 30 days before, think about what helped back then, and start doing the things that kept you AF. Cravings are like waves, they look huge and overpowering but once they hit the shore it's like it never existed. Ride the wave, let it pass. the the sub-concious mind is powerful if we feed it positive thoughts it follows our lead but we cannot let our concious mind take over, because we start rationalizing and feeling like we can never do this.

What we're going through is a journey we all know what happens when we take a long road trip. We can get a flat tire, you can see a georgeous sunset or sunrise, our traveling companions act like fouls, the car brakes down etc...we get tired, angry and want to get to our destination but we cannot get there just by wishing it; we have to go through what ever happens along the way.

Stay strong. AL is not happiness, it's a moment of pleasure that passes; some can handle it and other's can't -- it's not your life happiness. Hang in there:flower:

[Bella]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Sounds like you r angry. i understand that. it comes with the teritory. im sorry my keyboard is screwed so i have to type short! baby been playing with it!!!!!

hang in there...it will get better

bella xxxx

[sammys]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

I have felt the same way, how many times can you possibly go through it in your head or talk about it. I made up my mind that it was not good for me to be dwelling on it. Maybe dwelling is not the right word but it is all I can think of right now.

Seriously that's why alot of us do not talk about drinking alot around here, we are done talking and now living our lives (yes I do slip up now and then). That is why you see me on alot of other threads and find alot of other threads with nothing to do with drinking.

I agree it does get old thinking and talking about it all the time. The support we have for each other goes far reaching, not talking or not posting about drinking does in no way mean that I don't feel people are here for me and vice-versa.

Sammys

[gyco]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

yo lil M.it could be far worse,you could feel like throwing up,you could have the shakes so bad you want to jump out of your skin,you could lose someone close to you , cause you were under the influence and drove,and the next time you woke you see a bloody mess laying next to you,everything you say is rite,we all have had the feelings you got,you no it took us a long time to learn the technique of drink,it will take the same amount of time not to,you no were on your side,i think Wip said it,very key word,you have the choice not to, hope this finds you well gyco

[sunshine_gg]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

*smile*

Good lil.Michelle!!!!

So, let's cut the BS and start living NORMAL again (and for a change) - shall we?!
Alcohol doesn't agree with us... kinda like hot dogs didn't when I was a kid. So I didn't eat them. Simple enough, eh?

Me too. I'm tired of AL consuming so many hours of my day. Now, it isn't DRINKING the alcohol, now it's avoiding it, pushing away the thoughts of it, etc.

Starting tomorrow, I'm putting AL in a trunk in the morning. It'll be necessary to revisit and deal with it, yes... but not all day. I have other things to do.

I'll share my trunk, Lil.Michelle... just say the word


.

[lil.michelle]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

sunshine, Today is a new day. Open that trunk and i'll put mine in there too!

[kaponium]

You know what, i'm fed up with this

Lil M - In the words of the famous NIKE label...

JUST DO IT!!!Supporting you 1,000,000, percent mate. Here if you want to PM or chat