I cant believe I am doing this

[cyclefan]

I cant believe I am doing this

Liath there is chat here too. If you find yourself getting anxious maybe you can jump into chat. If no one is there, just post a thread that you need to chat, someone will usually be along to help.

Keep looking forward to your future.

[Liath]

I cant believe I am doing this

Good advise from all. Time for bed and then day 4 is upon me. I plan to grocery shop after the liquor store section is closed!

[rubywillow]

I cant believe I am doing this

Welcome, Liath! Your story sounds SO much like my neice - she's your age, lives in a major city, partied everynight with her hard partying friends, hadn't really messed up yet, but was wobbling on the edge. She's 3 months sober now, and had to make a lot of changes in her environment, but it's so worth it. You CAN do it, and I'm here to tell you mainly, make your decision now, not after you've lived some of the horror stories you can read here. Welcome, read, read, read, check out the books, CD's, vitamins, meds, and never be afraid to ask for help.
Ruby

[jamieaz]

I cant believe I am doing this

Hey,

I?m from Wisconsin too, and I TOTALLY understand the lifestyle. I have lived AZ the past 5 years and will go back and forth to WI during the summer. This last summer was the worst yet and I?m not going back again until I have my life in control?..needless to say I would NEVER do 2008 over again.

I have always been the girl who can keep up with the guys drinking. Now that I think about it, that is probably one of the reasons I was so popular with the guys. I don?t have any control and like you I?m envious of people who can control liquor.

So here?s to us and our new life ahead. We can do this!

Jamie

[Liath]

I cant believe I am doing this

I am planning on applying to a PhD program and getting out of this drunken state by next fall. I somehow finished a masters in 2008 but the nights I had free I made up for all that studying by binging with the boys or whoever. Other nights I always found a way to have a drink or two at the end of the night. When the responsibility ended there was nothing to stop me from drinking even more. I said 2009 would be different and so far its been worse. I will never accomplish my goals unless I get sober. My would be publication is languishing on my desk and I've been calling in sick to work... The 'functional' drinker is slipping away and that means its time to save myself!

And yes, we can do this!!!

[neurogenic]

I cant believe I am doing this

Liath,

Well done for getting here. THat's a big task in itself. Forget about the past, we all may cringe, be embarassed, ashamed, but it is done with. Im 34 and have decided that I want to enjoy the rest of my life, I dont want to ever wake up again with the "WTF happened last night"....I get the feeling you are in the same boat. Take charge, it is not easy, but it is definitely worth it. A change of city/environment may be a good thing as if you are really serious about this, some of those friends may have to be put to the back, you will also find that some of those "friends" will also ditch you because of your new found strength and determination. Chose what you want and go for it. Good luck, and hang in there, thats what this is all about. I think you have made a great move....well done

BTW, what field are you in, I also have a PhD, just asking as us Biologist lot are a notorious bunch for the AL, that said there even some of us learning self control as they near their mid thirties!

[dove]

I cant believe I am doing this

hey, do i know you....we sound like we run in the same circles....heavy drinking that noone knows while finishing your graduate program...ill be 32 in three weeks....not everyone here is older than us....(sorry guys, feel like thats what i hear a lot of the time)...probably all i am hearing....

dove

[gyco]

I cant believe I am doing this

hi there LIATH,small letters dont want to scare you off,its a great site,talk when you feel comfortable,were all struggling from one point or another,i was watching a show on the states about Al abuse,they think they got a problem economically,i guess there not looking at the addiction thing yet it is most definitely A bigger problem then they care to recognise,Canada is going thro the same,if not worse,one other big thing you got going is you realise you might get worse,i no you mentioned your not an AA kind of person,there are a lot of different sites one can go on,one is AA online,dont have to say a word,dont have to even go directly in the site,just listen to the stories like here and the struggles,my dear AA is not for everyone,i wish you well, gyco

[johnnyh]

I cant believe I am doing this

Hi Liath, welcome!!

It's not too long ago that i came to the board with my first day or two in the pocket, determined but yet unable to say how far being AF will take me. It seemed a never ending uphill climb. But..... it got better. Believe me. You are currently in probably the most difficult stage but will be over the hill in a couple of days. I recomend lots of distraction and I'd be careful not to spent too much time if at all with your drinking buddys!! Maybe join a gym or find someother activity to keep you busy and distracted. You might just find some new friends that might have different priorities in life than getting drunk.
Good luck and keep posting

[FloridaBoy]

I cant believe I am doing this

This weekend go do something different than your normal routine. Avoid the peer pressure and you will be fine.

[Blanchieboo]

I cant believe I am doing this

Welcome Liath. You are at a great place here. I am kind of new here too. I have found that there is no judgement, just wonderful support.
I am much like you with the drinking thing too. Isn't it good to know you are not alone?!
Good luck in your journey!

[savon19]

I cant believe I am doing this

OH gosh, Florida Boy -- I may have to steal your avatar!! Me to a TEE.

Liath, when I first posted here, I don't think I had had 2 days sober in a row in... forever. While I haven't been doing that well lately, I also have had at least 2 times with two WEEKS AF, and I am Sure it was due to the support I found here.

Posting here forced me to admit to myself that I had a serious problem. That is the first step, as "they" say! Now I need to take myself seriously!!

[coolstink]

I cant believe I am doing this

Wow you sound like me. I'm 32 as well and remember one night a few years ago having a drinking competition with a 300 pound guy I worked with and loosing by one shot. Afterwards he admitted that he had actually been vomiting in between rounds.

I'm also the queen of staggering home drunk by myself, but I was finally frightened off that after a girlfriend of mine did it and got followed into her apartment and robbed. She was so drunk she didn't even realize until the next morning, although she remembered being followed home and being too drunk to do anything about it.

It's really amazing I am still alive.

But what really confuses me is how I put up with the daily self loathing every morning for so long.

Good luck!

[neurogenic]

I cant believe I am doing this

Hi Everybody,

I just have to put one thing out there, we gotta feel better about ourselves, no, I mean NO self loathing! We are all just the same beings, some of us are wired differently, some of us the wiring is really bad, but thats just the way it is. If we are going to be true to ourselves ( I include myslef here BIG time) we have to start with respecting ourself. So, I repeat, no self loathing. Pity is tolerated for a little while, but after that we have to get up and do something about it. I suggest you all come to the newbies nest, hop in, check it out, we accept anything and everybody there,

loads of luck to all, Neuro

[WannaBFree]

I cant believe I am doing this

Hi Liath, I am 26, F and also grew up trying to keep up with the boys and succeeded to the point of outdrinking the lot of them! This I thought was a very 'cool ' feat but have now realised it to be beyond ridiculous as my body was A: not designed like a mans and should not try to be B: Not designed to pump poison into it! I always thought that my life would be boring/I would lose friends etc if I gave up the drink. It cannot be further from the truth, you GAIN life, energy ! It does though take time to rebuild those foundations. I read the most profound ,beautiful things the other day that really made me think about where I was really going, I cannot remember the exact wording ...It was basically how when you leave this world you meet your maker, you stand naked and alone and all you can take with you is what you have given away in your life. Wonderful! I don't want to stand there with nothing realising that i have lived a very selfish existence. No way!
I wish you all the best Liath, You can do this!!!!!!
A book that really helped me is Allen Carr's. easy way to control alcohol. He is amazing. He stopped me smoking with his easy way to stop smoking book. He is my Guru ha ha.
Private message me anytime , if you feel the need!
Sara : )