I'm so glad I have found you all! Even though I'm feeling super low right now I have been reading all your threads today and I know there is hope
I'm a stay at home mum to 2 little girls (3 and 1). We have no family nearby for support. My husband has his own company and works long hours and weekends and we've suffered for a few years financially because of this (just getting all the excuses out of the way!)......and I'm a lonely fat drunk.
I've known I've had a problem for a while but have totally been in denial. I was convinced I wasn't an alcoholic just because I've never had a drink in the morning - but my drinking starts at 3pm everyday and it's a bottle of wine and a couple of beers on a 'good' day - 2 bottles of wine on a bad one and loads loads more if we're socialising. I don't think I have ever been sober when reading my daughter a good night story or giving them baths. I'm not sure I can enjoy these activities without a buzz.
I had a bottle and a half plus 2 beers last night - no different from any other night in, it was an ok evening as well - I didn't have a screaming fight with DH and I didn't nearly suffocate the baby in bed but this morning something has changed. I started googling AA as soon as DH left for work. I just feel genuinely tired of it all. I look like shit, I'm a liability, I'm poor and I'm sending myself to an early grave.
I'm going to get some supplements on Monday. Have not had a drink today and I'm a bit scared that I'm about to start a new journey with no real planning or anything to help me - I'm just going cold turkey. It's Saturday and it's 4pm - so not the best of times to start not drinking!
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