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My worst fear came true

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    #1

    My worst fear came true

    I have done it again. I'm so tired of myself. I kid myself that I can stop but I cant.

    I have joined a mentor group to learn the Internet etc, and I went out with a group of them last night, and wrote myself off. I'm so embarrased and ashamed. My mother had a really good way of making me feel this way.

    I now have to go and face them this morning, and I feel sick (not because of the hangover) but because of what they are going to say to me. Some will mock and tease me, I can handle that, its the ones who will look down on me because "woman shouldnt get drunk" I think I'm doing a pretty good job of looking down on myself - I don't need anyone else to do it.

    I have to go downstairs to breakfast now, then face the music in an hour. I supposed I will get through it, but the humiliation will crush me. I'm so ashamed of myself. I now know that I need to stop completely before I get worse.

    Terri
    Hey.....Life is good:yougo::crazymonkey::cheering:
    Tags: None
    #2
    My worst fear came true

    :welcome:HI Terri, welcome! I'm not sure who these people are that you have to face, but if they are going to mock, tease, or look down on you, screw 'em.!! Think about yourself now. There is a lot of support here ... you can download the book, poke around in the different threads, read a lot.
    :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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      #3
      My worst fear came true

      Thank you Dexterhead, I thank you for your opinion and advice.

      I think I am my own worst enemy, I just know now that I have to do something with this problem. I can't kid myself anymore. I just wish it would all go away and I wasn't like this.

      I do stupid things like this when I get out of my comfort zone, but it just makes things worse, you'd think I would have realised this now I'm in my 40's. Anyway, I look forward to the support I will receive in here. Thank you again.
      Hey.....Life is good:yougo::crazymonkey::cheering:

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        #4
        My worst fear came true

        Terri, you have found a community of people just like you! Many of us have expressed the wish to "not be like this." It seems that we are wired differently than other people. I hate it as well. But recognizing you've got to do something is definitely a big step.
        :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

        Comment

          #5
          My worst fear came true

          Hello and Welcome
          Many of us have felt like you do now. You can do this!!! A good place to start is with the MWO book. We will be here to support you.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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            #6
            My worst fear came true

            Like Sea said, I don't think many here have not waked in the morning one time or another and thought ,"Oh, SHIT!" Some remember, some don't. I don't know which is worse. You're not in jail, or the hospital, so, that's a plus. Read as many stories here as you can. You will get inspiration from people who have been thru exactly what you have (and worse) and have lot's of AF time under their belts. I spent years having such morning, and thank God and MWO I haven't had one since September 29, 2008. I like the saying, 'Never look down on anyone unless you're giving them a hand up.' A person who looks down on another is not worth your bother. The teasers, well at least they're up front. This day shall pass. The question is, do you want to have another morning like it? If not, read the book, stay here and read, read, read, look into the supps, books and CD's. This is war, and you need to go in armed. Good luck!
            sigpic
            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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              #7
              My worst fear came true

              Terri, I can't add too much to what has already been said except that I am in my 50's and have done many a foolish thing while drinking. You can't undo what has been done only decide to change how you want to live your life going forward. Wishing you all the best and look forward to seeing you on the boards.

              Cuckoo

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                #8
                My worst fear came true

                hi terri,we all here ya,i think we've all been there,i have,as long as i drank,the problems were there,even when i was treated new problems arose,many cant live with us drinking or sober,when they talk to you this morning listen,dont say a word,when you have had enuff,ask to leave and come here,or what ever helps,all the insulting will not help you,they cant help you,people with a addiction problem are great listeners,we have to become do ers,i wish you well gyco

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                  #9
                  My worst fear came true

                  Hi hun,
                  yep, we've all been there and done that and my god, having to face the people the next day is the worst but the shame will go. Give it a few days and it WILL get better.
                  So, welcome. This is a great place. We're all in the same boat. We don't judge or look down on people so don't worry. We're here for you!
                  It takes A LOT of will power, teeth gritting and hair pulling but it's WELL worth it!

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                    #10
                    My worst fear came true

                    Hi Terri,
                    Welcome to MWO...as lil.mich said, we have no judgments here; this is a wonderful place to get the support you need and make lots of new friends. I look forward to getting to know you. Kriger
                    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                      #11
                      My worst fear came true

                      Welcome Terri -- yes, we sometimes do awful things when bombed. And we are probably our own worst critics, sometimes exaggerating how bad we were, sometimes not. My behavior was a big reason I wanted to stop drinking. But the anxieties, fear, depression, shame, sickness are all part of the package. Good luck and welcome. :welcome:
                      Matt

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                        #12
                        My worst fear came true

                        Thank you so much all of you, I did face those people and hardly anyone said a word. For this I was truly grateful, although I wondered if it was because they couldn't believe my behaviour.
                        Anyway time has passed and I do feel better, the shame is still there, I let myself down.
                        Every time this happens I become closer to knowing that I must heal myself, but I do wonder how long this will take before I will do it. This is the first time I have every really thought seriously about taking the medication that is recommended on MWO.
                        Can anyone give me any advice?
                        Terri
                        Hey.....Life is good:yougo::crazymonkey::cheering:

                        Comment

                          #13
                          My worst fear came true

                          Hi Terri,
                          I take it you've read the book? If not, then that's the right place to start. From there you can get a plan together and figure out whether you want to use any of the medications recommended. Also go through the threads which discuss the different medications so that you can make an informed decision.
                          Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums
                          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                          Comment

                            #14
                            My worst fear came true

                            Terri,

                            I agree with Dee. Start with the MWO book, you can download it from this site. It's a good place to start, but it looks like you've already started with this wonderful thread and your posts! I'm almost 48, you're in comfortable company here. No judging, just support.

                            I adhere strictly to the MWO supplements (I also take additional ones as I'm prone to depression) and am currently taking topamax. It helps but it's with this forum and the CDs and exercise and the entire program that works, for me anyway.

                            We're here for you, stay in touch, ok? Feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like.

                            Take care,
                            Be
                            "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

                            Comment

                              #15
                              My worst fear came true

                              Terri, I have done so many embarressing things while I was drunk. Pick yourself up and start a great day. Best Wishes for you!
                              RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09

                              "The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy

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