Beginning of a Journey and already tired

[startingover]

Beginning of a Journey and already tired

Mrs D, Lglutamine I find is briiliant for cravings, I also use Kudzu.
Its such a good idea to reward yourself for doing well, with something other than alcohol. For my 6 months sobriety I rewarded myself with a new pc, for daily treats I have a soak, a nap, a cake, anything that just lifts my spirits a little.

[KateH1]

Beginning of a Journey and already tired

Well, Hello Joanna and Mrs. Donovan and welcome aboard!! It sounds like you are already doing your research and finding The Tools! That is a great start...also good job on the AF Days! Well Done! As you have probably already discovered.....we change and we learn along the way. When I started here, I could hardly imagine a whole week without drinking....and 30 days....well.....that would take a miracle! I had a head full of long practiced excuses and reasons for drinking......but I was fed up with all of the negatives that alcohol brought to my life.....what little life there seemed to be.

Anyway.....I read the book, started reading here and posting, went to chat and one day I wrote out my plan and ordered the supplements that I would need.......today I have over a year of sobriety! I share this part of my story with you, to let you know that no matter what you are thinking today.....if you comitt and do the work.....all things are possible!!

Best Wishes!
Kate

[upnorthgirl]

Beginning of a Journey and already tired

Joanna

I can relate to your story in many-if not all ways--I am so sorry about your health problems. But try not to let that be your motivation for drinking--difficult at best, I know.

I think it is odd that at the time in my lfe when thigngs are the best--financially secure, married, good kids, travle, all that bit--I start drinking? WTF???

What, am I punishing myself for being happy? My life is good--my marriage somewhat boring but safe and secure---that should be enough but apparently not.

We can do this--together!

[Joanna]

Beginning of a Journey and already tired

Thanks upnorth girl is that US or UK? Or somewhere else? !

You are right; using being ill is for me an excuse to be self destructive. It's pathetic. The thing about being depressed for me is when I'm in it I almost welcome it as if its a safe place to hide away and not see anyone. I don't want things to be any different. I wallow in it!!

Then my drinking is a temporary way out; a short fix lift and the whole cycle repeats. I'm worried now. What shall I do after 30 days? Carry on being AF? Or start again. At the moment I feel either decision isn't what I want; devil and deep blue sea! When I think about this, I realise how powerful the hold of alcohol is over me. It shouldn't be so important!

I have these growths in my brain but I might live to 100. Who knows? when I was first diagnosed I had a good attitude to my illness. I told everyone I was taking one day at a time and living for now and I believed it. It felt real. Now after three years I wonder if I was in denial as I seem to have spent the last months wallowing in being ill and developing a morbid fascination for finding out more about my condition. I know this can be a useful part of the process but I don't want it to take over my life. I need to move on

I'm 43. Life is full of routine with primary age children. The same things every day; making packed lunches, going to my bookshop, taking the dog out, watching DVDs (The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Dexter), waiting for winter to end. The wine at 5 o'clock always marked the end of the day; welcome into the evening; sink into a haze of being useless and lazy. Now there's a big hole and I need to put something in it.

Hey I feel a bit better today! x:thanks: