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flunked out BUT now i am back
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flunked out BUT now i am back
hey everyone, it has been 9 mnths since i have posted so there are some of you that will remember me and others who wont. long story short..... i was very successful for 60 days and the lose of friends, other factors, and loneliness was just to much to bare. so i relapsed, and HARD! not at first but as the months went by and the winter depression set in i am back to drinking 3 or more days a week. :upset: with the short onset of the look of spring i feel ready to try again. so there is my sad, sad story of defeat in a nutshell. i have a feeling I am not the first though and i hope to gain insight from you all and let go of the guilt. special thanks to those who supported me the first round..... LIV, Barebones, Old bald guy and many many more.Tags: None
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flunked out BUT now i am back
No, you are not the first. Not by any means.
I am glad you are back and wanting to change your life for the better.
Since I have come here I have given in about 6 times. This has been since Dec. 2006. Only 1 time did I end up on a bender for a couple of days. For me; that is major progress! I was drinking whenever I could before that.
Honestly checking into this site has given me the strength and the knowledge on how to remove AL from my life. I learn so much here. You can too.
It is a new beginning for you. All the best.
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flunked out BUT now i am back
thanks for the immediate responses. i am trying to decide whether to go AF or try moderation. last time a was successful for 60 days AF but it didn't stick and the stresses in my life now are very plenty full. i am afraid if i go AF this time i wont succeed at all. thoughts?
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flunked out BUT now i am back
Hey finding,
This is my second time back. Your story isn't one of defeat, it's one of success! You're back and that's what counts. I suggest taking things one day at at time. I'm sure others will have even wiser things to say. There's a great thread, the Toolbox thread under monthly abstainers. Maybe you shoud check that one out?
Take care,
Be"Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad
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flunked out BUT now i am back
I think we all put way too much pressure on ourselves. Setting ourselves up for failure. Then if we do drink; we feel even worse about ourselves than we should. This can lead in negative thinking and we end up drinking because we think we can't get this under control or quit.
I honestly would suggest for you to take it one day at a time. See how you feel. You will find out rather quickly if you can successfully mod or not. Testing the waters isn't a bad thing unless you continue to go in the same circles and end up drinking much too much.
The stress in our lives isn't going to go away with a bottle of wine (or whatever). It will numb the racing of the brain for a while. The problems will still be there the next day, only to be magnified because you are hungover and are feeling anxious from the night before. I use to love the escape from every day life. The problem was I kept putting off being proactive and dealing with the crap and the stress kept piling up. Once I finally admitted that I can't drink and got sober I was saying "Holy Shit! What in the Hell have I done? Why didn't I deal with this/that before now?"
We are here for you. Whatever you decide to do.
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flunked out BUT now i am back
Can I relate
Accountable, can I ever relate to the waking up and "holy shit" feeling. Findingme, I've been at this since last summer and I've had success -- off and on. It's only just recently that I've been able to get some consistency going. I also relate to the winter part -- does make it harder. I have one of those "bright lights" and I have a bit of coffee in front of it in the morning, and it helps. But the main thing is, keep coming back here! This place and many people who really DO get it -- that is what has kept me hanging on and finally, helped me to help me, and get some success going.
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flunked out BUT now i am back
The problem was I kept putting off being proactive and dealing with the crap and the stress kept piling up.
Accountable--know exactly what you mean--it is like I am on a treadmill and someone (probably the f'er AL) keeps turning up the speed! Seems I can't keep up if I choose to keep drinking.
Welcome, FindingMe (can we abbreviate it to F-me?)
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flunked out BUT now i am back
Finding Me, I remember you. I too have been on and off these boards for years. In fact, I think we PM'd a bit (we are both from Ohio -- hi neighbor!) I am still struggling as well, but we all gain from each other. The winter depression can be a real rough thing -- I had a tough time with that last year and even into this past fall, but it's not as bad for me as it was. Hang in there, and looking to more of your posts.
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