Something that WIP said strikes true with me. I obviously am not committed enough to giving up AL ? really can?t want it enough to make a real go of it. This happened years ago when I gave up smoking. I tried and tried for years (even had hypnotherapy) but couldn?t give up. Then one day, I moved house and decided that I would never smoke again ? and I never have. I need that same resolve with drink.
Last night was a very low point for me. I invited my partner and his boys for a meal and knew I shouldn?t have a drink because it would spoil the evening. Told myself that one glass wouldn?t hurt ? and of course that ended up with me drinking the whole bottle of wine. Then to hide the fact that I had been drinking wine (obviously my breath would smell of AL), poured a small glass of cider and pretended that was all I was drinking. He isn?t stupid though and was very quiet all evening and left much earlier than normal. Then I couldn?t sleep all night with worry that he will now end it all with me. I feel so stressed and depressed today.
Please help me. I?ve tried taking all the supps but they don?t seem to help. I get three days down the line and the craving is so bad, I give in. How do you all manage to do it? Even if I could go a whole week AL free, I would feel that I had achieved something. I want to give up drinking ? never touch a drop of the evil, life wrecking liquid again.
Sorry for rambling ? I just feel like a hopeless failure. :upset:
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