I just joined today. I think it's just what I needed!
My name is CinamonKiss and I have a drinking problem that I have wanted to control for many years now, since my best friend died 8 years ago. Last night, I drank 3 glasses of wine. The night before, 3 glasses. The night before, 3 glasses. Abstinence 3 days prior.
I successfully lost 50 lbs, and have kept it off for 1.5 years now. I workout/exercise 5-6 days per week, and eat healthy most of the day, until my night time wine drinking leads to overeating/bingeing. My resolve not to drink is usually good in the morning, and during the day, but when I get home at night, I give into temptation, and lose all willpower.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping, and did not IMMEDIATELY give in to the temptation to go to the liquor store that is right next door to the grocery store. But after having driven all the way home, I turned right around, and drove back out to another liquor store and purchased 2 bottles of wine! By God's grace I want the one bottle left to remain unopened unless my husband drinks it alone. The other bottle is in the fridge 7/8 empty, all my doing.
Why do I want to stop drinking? Deep down, I feel that drinking is short-circuiting my Spiritual walk with God, and blunting my effectiveness to others. I do not want to debate whether Christians should abstain from alcohol, or whether moderation is enough. FOR ME, abstinence has to be my goal--I have NEVER been able to do ANYTHING in moderation. Abstinence is where I believe God has called me to be, and I am certain my spiritual life will grow leaps & bounds as I accomplish this important spiritual goal, which has been an impediment for getting to the next level.
Also, if I am to maintain my weight loss long-term, my Coach advised that I need to abstain from all trigger foods. Alcohol is my trigger food, because I usually have 3 drinks, and THEN begin craving chocolate, cheese (I only keep 75% fat free cheese in my house, but still...), and anything else that's not nailed down. Alcohol is my ONLY trigger food, and I WILL NOT gain my weight back!
I have abstained for brief periods before. While working with my Coach in 2007 for weight loss, he encouraged me to abstain for months at a time, in between my vacations, and I am certain this was the only way I was able to lose weight. Briefly, from Sept-Nov, 2008 I abstained, and then BLEW IT when I went home for Thanksgiving, and have struggled with it ever since. We are now mid-February!
After a night of drinking, I always rise and pray to God for forgiveness, but I am tired of saying the same old stale prayers to Him! After last night, 3 drinks and chocolate, crackers and cheese I gained 2 lbs. This a.m. I asked God to show me HOW to stop drinking. Right after praying I got online, and somehow found this site.
I am so thankful for a place where I could come out and admit this, and get help, and also be an encouragement to others!
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