thought I'd pop back and have a read through so many of your brill. words that strike a chord with me. Rang in sick today as couldn't get out of bed with such a fuzzy head - though not just a hangover today - could probably cope with that. Woke up earlier mulling over my (happy) childhood - again, which always makes me feel sad - and suddenly realised what a profound affect it has had on me all my adult life that such a happy childhood fell apart totally during my early teenage years, leading to all sorts of heartbreaking events that still affect the whole family. I suddenly realised how much time I spend raking over the insides of the house we used to live in, places we'd go, sights and smells ect. And most importanatly, how happy I was. It has suddenly hit me that perhaps I'm actually grieving in some way - does this sound familiar to anyone? I somehow got the kids to school and have laid in bed crying all day. I felt as though the drinking was far too much - though not out of control - for me anyway - too a 'normal' person it would probably be horrendous. I couldn't pinpoint why - but I feel someones drawn back the curtains and I feel there's some explanation for it all - at last. I'm desperately hoping this isn't the side affects of a bad hangover.
I'm hoping this is the first step that will allow me to get some control over my life - as at the mo. things seem to have been slipping out ot control and opportunities just passing me by.
I'm gonna stick with this site now and draw as much support from you lovely people as possible - you are all diamonds.
Yours tearfully, Noodle :upset:
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