Do I need this?

[astarte60]

:new:

I drink a bottle of wine a day, but only in the evenings, my husband doesn't get home until 9 or 10 at night and I'm alone. I rarely drink hard alcohol, only when wine isn't available and only in equivalent amounts. I sometimes feel bad about this, at other times I only see it as a help for sleeping. I know this is way above minimum advised amounts but am never drunk. I can go without on certain occasions (vacation days etc.) but always begin again. So, to sum up, I want to stop, but am not motivated enough I think. Do I need help?
:thanks:
P.S. I live abroad and am not certain about finding the products listed on the site...

[Guest]

Do I need this?

Hello and welcome to this MWO forum. I too am new but I wanted to reply to your post right away, we are out here reading and caring! WELCOME:happyheart::happyheart: If you feel you should reduce your drinking than you have your answer to your question.
There will be more answers for you here, so best of luck and care to you:welcome:

[astarte60]

Do I need this?

thanks

[akgirl]

Do I need this?

Hi and WELCOME

I don't post as much anymore but felt I wanted to, to you. I feel just the same. Really, my drinking is very similar. I am totally functional, drink wine at night...usually late. I got out of hand for a while but am doing much better.

The thing is, even though it's not the worst we could be doing, It's not the best. It's not the best for us...our health, and really I think we are kidding ourselves on just how okay it is. That's why we are here isn't it? If we thought it was okay we wouldn't have found this place.


I am trying to justify my drinking and tell myself it's not that bad, I know in my heart that is a lie. I'm going back to the plan. If you have questions or would like to PM me I am here for you.

Best of luck
:l
Ak

[Sweaty Betty]

Do I need this?

Hi, I was in a similar drinking pattern, and what I can tell you is that whilst I thought I was fully functioning, having had some AF time I realise I certainly wasn't. The difference physically and mentally is amazing and is worth how difficult the initial AF period is. I'm currently working on a 30 day AF period, and actually enjoying the 'challenge'!

B.x

[A Work in Progress]

Do I need this?

One thing that is very helpful is to sit down and work on making some lists. Not just "in your head," but with pen and paper. Answer four questions:

What are the benefits that I get from drinking?
In what ways does drinking harm me or interfere with my having a good life?
What would I gain from not drinking?
What would I lose if I stopped drinking?

Another important question: can you control your consumption? Or do you find that, once you have had one drink, you often drink more than you planned or intended to? If you are finding it impossible to consistently control your consumption.... what are your thoughts about that?

[astarte60]

Do I need this?

What is AF???

[A Work in Progress]

Do I need this?

AF = "alcohol free"! As distinguished from "moderating," or "mods," which involves working on a plan to learn to control one's consumption. Many who have very deeply entrenched alcohol dependency (that would include me!) find that it is MUCH easier to not drink at all, than to go on "trying to control the uncontrollable."

You might want to take a look at the MWO book. Check out the "health store" and other links here on the MWO site for more info...

[astarte60]

Do I need this?

reply to post

I agree about making lists, but does it really help? Did it help you?
First: Benefits: sleeping thru the night, avoiding depression at least until tomorrow morning, feeling happier, less tachycardia
Second: makes me feel bad about myself, have trouble functioning the morning after, bad health, bad smell
Third: more energy I suppose, less smoking, better self image, younger looking
Fourth: See "first"

Re controlling consumption: sometimes I think I can (last night only had 2 units alcohol), sometimes not (tonight 1 bottle + wine). If there's nothing to drink, I don't, if there is , I drink it all....:upset:

A Work in Progress;555109 wrote: One thing that is very helpful is to sit down and work on making some lists. Not just "in your head," but with pen and paper. Answer four questions:

What are the benefits that I get from drinking?
In what ways does drinking harm me or interfere with my having a good life?
What would I gain from not drinking?
What would I lose if I stopped drinking?

Another important question: can you control your consumption? Or do you find that, once you have had one drink, you often drink more than you planned or intended to? If you are finding it impossible to consistently control your consumption.... what are your thoughts about that?

[astarte60]

Do I need this?

How did you manage it?

[down2earth]

Do I need this?

I just came back, and your list was everything I thought of.

I wish you the best of luck. I know it's hard. Often I get scared of NOT drinking since that is how I spend a majority of my time.

I think it's scary, and I know when I haven't had my drink, I get anxious and depressed.

I am glad your are here, I know I have found a lot of support here, and I should never have let myself get so far away. Stay close, you have friends here.

[A Work in Progress]

Do I need this?

astarte60;555121 wrote: I agree about making lists, but does it really help? Did it help you?

Re controlling consumption: sometimes I think I can (last night only had 2 units alcohol), sometimes not (tonight 1 bottle + wine). If there's nothing to drink, I don't, if there is , I drink it all....:upset:

First, yes, it does help a lot to have these lists right in front of me. It helps me to keep my mind from spinning off into distorted thinking about alcohol.

As to the "controlling consumption" question... the problem for me wasn't that I could NEVER control my consumption; the problem was that I could not consistently do so. And even if it is only occasionally that I was being a messy drunk, damaging my health and my relationships... that was too much!

Having occasional instances in which we are "successful" in not getting horribly drunk can be very seductive... it makes us think that we "should" be able to always do that. In many cases... it just isn't ever going to be that way. In other cases, people do learn to stop over-doing it.

[astarte60]

Do I need this?

That IS the problem isn't it? So many times during the day I say No Drinking Tonight, and then as the light wanes I get nervous and upset.. and end up opening a bottle of wine... It is wonderful meeting people with the same reactions, but how to stop?

[A Work in Progress]

Do I need this?

astarte... my suggestions: read the MWO book; read through the "tool box" thread in the "Goals" > "Monthly Abstinence" section, then make a plan, and follow through; come here and post and read a lot.

Best wishes to you!

[Terri1965]

Do I need this?

Hi Astarte60,

I am a lot like you.

I have had my doubts about my drinking habits for years, and have been in and out of this forum. Once the shame/humiliation & embarrassment faded from a night on the turps, I would turn my back on MWO and continue on my not so merry way, convincing myself that I could control my drinking - I couldn't and here I am back again, this time I hope to stay - this is my longest stretch so far, so I am confident.

I am now what they call "modding" - drinking in moderation and feeling much better and in control. I have learnt since my last "performance" (which I made such a fool of myself and knew I had to get help) that when I don't drink I feel much stronger and I am in control - not the booze.

I also now know that it doesn't solve the problems, but exacerbates them - this was a huge learning curve for me. There is no answer at the bottom of the bottle.

Stick with this forum, the people here do not judge, they just support and give advice - and its fantastic advice. It is what gave me the strength to climb out of the pit and finally wake up to myself.

PM me anytime, good luck to you.
Hugs
Terri