Starting out

[Lonely One]

Hi
I'm new and a little shy and scared, but here goes.

I drink too much, I know I do - wine, and occasionally beer but not the hard stuff. I only drink in the evenings, but instead of being able to have a glass or two with dinner then stop, once a bottle is open I finish it. Every day I tell myself I won't do it again, but then I leave work and drive home to an empty house, and the loneliness kicks in, and there I go again. And then I hate myself in the morning.

I do manage one or two days a week where I can control it, and feel so much better when I do - but I've come to the reaslisation that I just can't go on like this. I have to stop.

I'm posting this in the morning before I go to work, which is when I'm most decisive! I know I'll get back from work tonight and want a drink, but I'm hoping there'll be someone here who can help me not drink tonight. And tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow....

Thanks

[Providence]

Starting out

You are not alone

Lonely,

I'm in the same place that you are. Wine is the monster that follows me home everynight. I can control it for a few days and even a week then I make excuses to drink, or say I"ll only have one or two and I end up finishing the bottle and I want more. I used to get up in the middle of the night to drink again and go back to sleep (if you want to call it that). I spent most of this weekend drinking, telling myself I would try again tomorrow.

For now don't "should" all over yourself. I wish I could say this is easy, but it's not. If it was there would be no alcoholics or problem drinkers.

I come here for support and inspiration. I've tried rehab, AA, therapy, and beating myself up but I know that if I don't drink today that's a great thing, so I feel good about that.

I'm not sure where you are in the world but I'm in EST and I will be here tonight as well, maybe we can help each other (with the help of the others here) to have one day of AF!

[Kirova]

Starting out

Lonely and Providence -- welcome! You've found a great place and are among so many who share your experiences (myself included). Hopefully you'll find you're not as lonely when you hang here at MWO. If you haven't already, read Roberta's book (you can download it if you don't want to wait for it to arrive via post). Also, there's a great thread in the Monthly Abstinence forum called "Toolbox" that's chock full of great ideas/helpful suggestions. Keep reading and posting -- we're all here to fight the beast. :h

[rustop61]

Starting out

Hi lonely and Providence and welcome

I second what Kirova says. Read the book and decide if you want to take the supplements, listen to the cd's etc. It all helps and there is amazing support here on the boards. It is great to feel that you are not alone in this struggle. You have taken the first step, good luck on your journey.

Rustop

[johnnyh]

Starting out

Welcome to the two of you.

Was in the same boat as you two. Though I did like my whiskey as well and some shots of tequila, etc. when binging on weekends.
Well done for taking these important first steps. There's ample of support here, you've come to the right place.
Read the posts here and decice which way you are going to take it. You might want to consider taking supplements to help you with cravings, etc.
Good luck to you and looking forward to read more from you.

Johnny

[aprilmoon]

Starting out

I can totally relate to working and coming home to drink. While I am retired now, I did this more times than I care to think of. I would go to work so hungover or I would call in sick because I couldn't face the day with the hangover.

Rum is my poison. I have been AF for months and years only to sink back into my rum.

I was at my lowest point when I found this website. I knew I couldn't do this on my own. I found this website and people welcomed me and I read so many threads and could see myself in so many people. Read and post was the advice I was given when I came here. I can say that is the best advice I got.

I actually laughed at some of the post because they could have been written by me. I thought there could not be anyone like me who is stuggleing like this. Well, there are lots of people just like me.

Read and post!!!!! I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

[vlad]

Starting out

Hi LO, when you come home tonight, instead of opening that rubbish bottle of wine, don't be lonely - come on here and post! :l

[Seacailin]

Starting out

Welcome Lonely and Providence
I am also alone most of the time. I am divorced and kids are grown. I go to AA meetings not only to learn to stay sober, but to have some sort of a sober social life. If I sit here alone day after day, I know that I will drink again. Best wishes to you both. We are here to help.

[Bird of Paradise]

Starting out

:welcome:Lonely and Providence,

You meet feel lonely, but you certainly aren't the only one to struggle with AL.
Read and post. Even some of the old threads are good to read.
I recommend MWO book, supps, and CDs.
The vitamins and supps are important, I think, especially in the beginning. I know I feel better when I'm on track with my vits. and supps.

[irish eyes]

Starting out

Welcome Lonely
You have been given great advice here, I can identify with you so much a bottle of wine was my poison as well. I have been AF since Jan 1st with help of MWO. Today I understand the meaning of 'the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'. It only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change your life, no one can make you change or stop you from changing. It is not easy breaking the pattern but with MWO you do have choice and support.
:welcome:

[Angelcakes]

Starting out

:welcome: Lonely & Providence...nice to see you here.
I look forward to getting to know you both.
xo

[Lonely One]

Starting out

Dear Everyone,
Thank you so much for your welcomes and your advice. It makes me feel so much better just knowing that I'm not the only one. The description of wine as "the monster following me home" is perfect.

Tonight I worked a bit later, so the "alone" part of the evening would be shorter, and I drove home without stopping at the petrol station or the supermarket to buy wine. I know that doesn't seem like much, but that's a small victory for me!!

Off to read some more threads now.

[babyface]

Starting out

this is a test message, everytime I try to send the message dissapears from screen, if it gets posted let meknow

[Lonely One]

Starting out

babyface;555670 wrote: this is a test message, everytime I try to send the message dissapears from screen, if it gets posted let meknow

Dear Babyface, yes your message appeared

[MrsSwino]

Starting out

Lonely One - That is the 1st step, passing by the liquor store. I did the same thing on 2/9/2009. I posted my first time on this site with my story. I used to stop every Monday night at a liquor store and I didn't that night and I haven't since. Wow, I feel so much better!!!! I never thought I could give up wine but I have, so far. I think that those of us that pretty much drank alone have an advantage over those that usually drink in social situations because nobody will be offering us wine in our own homes. If we don't buy it then when we get home we can find something else to do and not be tempted. You can watch a TV show and remember how is ended tomorrow :H. You can actually focus on a book and read it (a new concept for me, ha ha). Just take it one day at a time, you can give up the wine if you really want to and if the time is right! Keep reading here at MWO and there are a lot of people who write some very encouraging posts. Also, lots of funny ones to chase away the blues feelings that you get at first. Hang in there!