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    #1

    How to give up the crutch?

    Well, I posted not too long ago that things were getting bad with hubby and me and hate to say it they are even worse because of my drinking. I can only see things crashing and burning from here. the trust is totally gone, and he can barely look me in the eyes at the moment. It is horrible when the person you are closest to can't even look you in the face. I think he has reached the indifference phase, or is very close to it, and that is even worse than angry.

    Since i have been coming to this site, i have deffinetly been drinking less, but still binging regularly. I use al as a crutch and coping mechanism, and i just don't know how to give that up. It is hard to see things better getting better at this point, and yet i know that if i did stop drinking, things probably would get better. they certainly coulnd't get any worse.

    I'm not sure what i am looking for from this site. i post every once in a while. i am taking kudzo and l-glut and vitamins and i am trying to eat right. but habbits of so many years are hard to break. my kids are young now (all under five) but they will soon be old enough to realize what is happening and my hubby isn't going to wait around and watch me continue to do this. i know he also so resents the fact its a secret between us, although other people i am sure know.

    i just feel so alone in this.
    no time like the present
    Tags: None
    #2
    How to give up the crutch?

    Ohhh Skinny.
    ODAT
    Keep coming here reading and posting. There are great people here. Support, compassion, encouragement and knowledge.
    read and post

    Comment

      #3
      How to give up the crutch?

      Definite Alley

      Hi Skinny,

      Like what Wally said, for sure hubby could be your greatest Alley, hopefully he is not so upset that he has closed communication with you.

      May I ask why you only visit once in a while?
      Would it be more helpful to make it part of your routine?

      There's so much MWO has to offer. Have you spoke with your doctor, maybe that would help?

      It sounds like you really want to resolve this problem for your kids, your husband and yourself!

      Do you have any Hobbies?
      Are there any volunteer opportunities you could get involved in?

      Please don't give up on MWO, the people here want to help you and if you can just hang in there, you'll see a change.

      Your in my thoughts everyday :h, Be Well buddy . . . :l

      Comment

        #4
        How to give up the crutch?

        Hi there SC! It does sound as if you might be suffering from depression? Have you talked to your doctor at all? I was unable to get a grip with my drinking until I began to address the depression.
        I am sure the last thing you want to do is lose your family to this? You are certainly not alone, so keep talking, it will help you.
        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

        Comment

          #5
          How to give up the crutch?

          well as someone with a fellow cow related name I felt compelled to reply.

          I dont know the ins and outs of your situation, (but keen to know more) but nothing is impossible to repair, the AL or your marriage. Lets see what we can do to sort things out for you.

          Know this you are not alone

          MOOO
          "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
          but in what direction we are moving."

          Comment

            #6
            How to give up the crutch?

            i know he is just at the end of his rope. he now says he is taking away all access to money, which makes me feel like a desperate housewife totally controlled. but i know he just is sick of it. he doesn't understand it. he just thinks 'why can't you just STOP'. don't buy it. its as easy as that.

            maybe it is as easy as that. of coure, if it were, why is this website so busy:H

            i am probably depressed, but it is hard to know what comes first, the al, or the depression. but one thing is for sure, at the moment, our communication is very very bad. he is just so angry and frustated, that i cannot explain to him. i simply have to stop drinking in order to prove to him - and of COURSE - myself that i can.

            but goodness i do feel alone in this whole mess.:upset:
            no time like the present

            Comment

              #7
              How to give up the crutch?

              I basically lurk here too and often ask myself the same question. My drinking keeps getting worse and worse. Basically what I'm going to do is make the change, slowly. From two bottles of wine a night to ? Last night I decided to wait an hour, then another hour, then changed my drink of choice and ended up only having one drink. For me a big change and today I feel as if I can do this ... My husband is going to try to make the changes with me ... I wish you success at you try to make changes, one step then another to getting happy and healthy for you & your family. Huge hugs, A Mom of three grown children.
              Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the know to the unknown."
              Author Unknown :h

              AF - Sept 4, 2012
              10 days - Sept 13, 2012
              2 weeks - Sept 17, 2012
              Slip on the weekend but tried too moderate!
              AF - Sept 24, 2012 (get back on the headaches not worth it)
              Slippery slope Oct 1 ..... Trying to not give up!


              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Comment

                #8
                How to give up the crutch?

                It is amazing how similar the stories are. All different but so much the same. I can't say how to help but I can see now from this site that I'm not quite alone, just as bouchard01 and you are not alone. I do agree that we are all at turning points, knowing we need to make some changes, even if we have to struggle to start the process. I have to have some kind of faith that I will find my way out of this tunnel and you will too. Hang in there! I feel I have made a change just by coming to this site! And you have too!

                Comment

                  #9
                  How to give up the crutch?

                  Skinny cow,
                  You're not alone. All of our stories have such similarities. Do the supps like Kudzu help you to decrease the amount you drink - or even the L-Glut? Possibly journaling and writing a plan for yourself with a goal in mind might be a good start. I feel as though when I write things down on paper, then I don't have to think about them all the time. How about baby steps. One thing at a time. One day at a time. You can do this for your husband, children, and mostly for yourself.
                  Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    How to give up the crutch?

                    Skinny Cow....I am lucky that my husband of 11 years has let me be the one to decide that I need to stop drinking. Somehow making it my decision has helped. When I said to him that I drank too much and I needed to stop, he was on board with it. He does not harp on me, but occassionally mentions that I am doing good.

                    Your husband would help you so much more if he could be supportive. My husband is a very social drinker. He can drink one drink a month. I kinda hate that.

                    You need to find someone here or in real life to talk to to be supportive to you. Yes, we all have it in us to stop drinking.....but we all have it in us to start back up again.

                    I wish you the best in your journey...:l
                    RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09

                    "The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy

                    Comment

                      #11
                      How to give up the crutch?

                      appril moon:
                      my husband was supportive in that way for awhile. now he is taking the 'tough love' approach' because he is pissed off and he is treating me like a child. telling me i need to be sanctioned for my actions, like he's the boss, something he has never, ever ever done in our relaitonship.

                      i know he is just so mad and frustrated, but a little part of me also bucks at this and gets annoyed. does that seem just totally messed up too? after all, if i hadn't been lying, he wouldn't be in this position either.
                      no time like the present

                      Comment

                        #12
                        How to give up the crutch?

                        v
                        no time like the present

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