20 years of "professional" drinking. Professional in the sense I hid it very, very well every day. Even climbed the ladder to the top, made a grand living, and am doing well. Two years (yes, that's 2) of drinking, watching, and reading the MWO site threads without the guts to recognize that my life was half over. Two months ago, younger brother dies of result of chronic alcoholism. So, two weeks ago decided it was MY time to claim my life back and launched with a demand of my GP to prescribe so I could start the rest of my life for ME and not for the bottle. Now 6 days and 8 hours sober and living everyday in gratitude that I am still alive and have the rest of my life to fix the first half. Finding sobriety to be really scary and a very minute by minute thing. That's all. Just new and looking around.
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20 years of "professional" drinking. Professional in the sense I hid it very, very well every day. Even climbed the ladder to the top, made a grand living, and am doing well. Two years (yes, that's 2) of drinking, watching, and reading the MWO site threads without the guts to recognize that my life was half over. Two months ago, younger brother dies of result of chronic alcoholism. So, two weeks ago decided it was MY time to claim my life back and launched with a demand of my GP to prescribe so I could start the rest of my life for ME and not for the bottle. Now 6 days and 8 hours sober and living everyday in gratitude that I am still alive and have the rest of my life to fix the first half. Finding sobriety to be really scary and a very minute by minute thing. That's all. Just new and looking around.Tags: None
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New and Grateful
Hello and Welcome GH
I am very sorry about your brother. Like you said, it is now time to take back your life. I wish you well as you begin your journey. Please let me know if I can be of help.:welcome:"Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)
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New and Grateful
Hi Groundhog and welcome to the forum. Like you I've probably spent the best part of my life drinking and taking other substances to escape the harsh realities of life. I've tended to romanticize my past drinking in order to STILL not face up to the fact that I am an addict in every sense of the word.. I'm 20 months down the line in trying to quit and have just started accepting things for what they are. I'm 30 days again today but have had my eyes opened tremendously by the support I get from a local alcohol project and through N/A meetings and the understanding I get from people and friends I've made here at MWO.
Good luck my friend and my sincere condolences over your brother. It's no way to exist as an alcoholic and and even harsher way to die. My GP has first hand experience working at a hospital with those suffering from organ failure due to alcohol misuse and the picture he has painted in my mind is one I would not like to be in.
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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New and Grateful
I am so sorry about your brother! Congrats on the six days! You can beat this thing! Are you thinking of trying any medication?"One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
March 13, 2012
Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
Goal #6: 6 months
Goal #7: 1 year
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New and Grateful
Welcome!
Read and post. That was the advice I was given when I first came here and I did. I can't give you any better advice.
Way to go on the 6 plus ?? hours AF!!!!RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09
"The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy
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New and Grateful
So happy you found us . . .
Hi Groundhog, it's so hard to lose a loved one (let alone to AL). My condolences as well, (I have been there).
Excellent job on the AL free days thus far, your brother is shining down on you and I'll bet he is extremely proud of you too.
The wisdom in this forum has no bounds. The people are from all walks of life - they are truly mentors for all of us and for each other.
You will enjoy your time spent here, it will never be wasted time, you have so much support now to help keep you strong.
God Bless . . .
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I like that "professional drinking" ... As my brother in law said ... "Time to put the plug in the jug" Stay strong ....Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the know to the unknown."
Author Unknown :h
AF - Sept 4, 2012
10 days - Sept 13, 2012
2 weeks - Sept 17, 2012
Slip on the weekend but tried too moderate!
AF - Sept 24, 2012 (get back on the headaches not worth it)
Slippery slope Oct 1 ..... Trying to not give up!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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New and Grateful
OMG, Groundhog. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Just more sad than I can say...
It sounds like you are on a NEW path, as a result - which I'm sure your brother would appreciate.
My heart goes out to you...Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin
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Thanks!
Love the support from you all. I especially like the fact that it is coming from "been there done that" folks which is very valuable and is very real. As for the meds question asked, my GP has me on 30 days of Antabuse which is what I asked for to start. I have found it to be a big insurance program against relapsing at least right now. I take it in the morning (when I am strongest) and it cements the day -- no drinking, period. What I am finding at this early stage is that life is not so bad sober and I just need to find other things besides drinking to entertain myself. Yes, waaaay easier said than done but I was really bad off in the bottle and I was just about to ruin everything I had. I actually had a full night or real sleep last night as opposed to merely passing out. I have not had a real night's sleep in so long that I can't remember. I have posted late yesterday on the thread dealing with meds to share my experience after now 7 days.
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Update!
Hello all:
Thanks for the feedback. I am now at 41 days sober -- I have a little time elapse clock on my desktop that I started when I took my first AB. Had a rough few patches wanting to drink and even a dream that I went to my favorite bar and then realized I could not drink for fear of getting sick. The fact that if I stop AB I still have to wait several weeks keeps the urges somewhat under control. Just need to take the pill everyday. My thought is when I take it I add one more day to the 14 I would need to wait to start drinking again. So all is well. Relationships are even improving and I have a little more hope in front of me. :groupluv:
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New and Grateful
Good Job, GH!!
Did you suffer any withdrawals at all? It sounds like you are well on your way to a whole new life. Are you taking any of the supplements recommended by RJ? I wish you well on your own personal journey and I look forward to getting to know you better....this site and all the wonderful people here have been the reason I stopped drinking 8 months ago. It was a miracle to have found MWO. Congrats on your 41 days!!!! Kriger"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu
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