Im so sad and angry at myself i had a binge on Sunday night alone and got on the phone talked to ever Tom, Dick and Harry and made a complete mockery of myself. I cant even remember what i was saying and who i spoke to who answered my calls etc. I feel so depressed about what i have done my partner feel asleep and i got drunk. She woke up and i was completely Wasted i cant remember anything. I dont know if i should call people i called to apologize. Part of me even thinks/wishes maybe they couldnt tell i was drunk but i know they would have. I wish i could get rid of these feelings. I hardly ever drink as when i do i cant stop and i have to buy a packet of smokes and just turn into the half wit of the century. I know i cant drink ever again i can go for months without drinking or binging then BAM im on a bender. I hate to think of what ive done to my body. I have been reading on this website and its so me. Im so ashamed and disappointed with myself ive never felt this bad in my life. I dont even know if im being hard enough on myself because i cant remember a f-ing thing!
So Shattered
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