Never drinking again

[Shattered]

Hi
Im so sad and angry at myself i had a binge on Sunday night alone and got on the phone talked to ever Tom, Dick and Harry and made a complete mockery of myself. I cant even remember what i was saying and who i spoke to who answered my calls etc. I feel so depressed about what i have done my partner feel asleep and i got drunk. She woke up and i was completely Wasted i cant remember anything. I dont know if i should call people i called to apologize. Part of me even thinks/wishes maybe they couldnt tell i was drunk but i know they would have. I wish i could get rid of these feelings. I hardly ever drink as when i do i cant stop and i have to buy a packet of smokes and just turn into the half wit of the century. I know i cant drink ever again i can go for months without drinking or binging then BAM im on a bender. I hate to think of what ive done to my body. I have been reading on this website and its so me. Im so ashamed and disappointed with myself ive never felt this bad in my life. I dont even know if im being hard enough on myself because i cant remember a f-ing thing!
So Shattered

[startingover]

Never drinking again

Hi there Shattered. Welcome to you!
Yes, I can relate to that depression after a binge, its horrible isnt it?
What do you want to do? Give up drinking? Or learn to moderate? I guess the first thing you need to do is have a plan in place. There's loads of ideas here to help. Supplements and meds for cravings, hypnosis CDs, support here. Let us know how we can help OK?

[Shattered]

Never drinking again

Hi,
I've decided i never want to drink again, i never want to feel as i do now. I dont think i will have withdrawals as i don't drink every night or even every week its more of a monthly thing where i feel reckless and smoke and drink like nothing else then i dont do it again for a while then i do and i hate it. I know going out would be hard but then i haven't gone out this year so its not something i do very often. I'm just very disappointed with myself and i guess time can only heal that. I have a very supportive partner who has forgiven me and wants me to feel better about myself, she has said she wont drink if that will help. My plan is to just not drink simple huh. I think reading all the treads on here helps too cause it reinforces the fact that this wasnt just a one off it's something that will continue if you continue to drink. I'm very angry with myself. Ive also quit smoking as they go together too well.

[startingover]

Never drinking again

Have a look at the tool box thread in Monthly Abstinence. That will give you some ideas. Also keep reading and posting here to keep you motivatied. I find life MUCH better sober in every way. You will start to feel better about yourself shortly I would think. And also Well done on the smoking!

[aprilmoon]

Never drinking again

Shattered, this website has been a God Send to me. The advice I was given when I first came here was to read and post. When you read the post, you will see yourself in so many people. I was just like you 33 days ago. I didn't make drunk phone calls. I posted drunk and mean on a local website in my area. My name is mud there now. I did appoligize, but the person didn't accept it. Written words are hard to take back.

I have phoned family and friends while drunk and the next day have them say "Wow, you sounded drunk last night." Being that "they" don't even know I drink much less have a drinking problem, I would say my sinues were bothering me and I took a benedryl. Did they believe me? I don't know.

Any way it's so good that your partner is going to support you in this. There are so many people who don't have that. I do and I thank God for it. My husband can have one drink every now and again and that's it. I can't have one without wanting 10....or until I'm drunk.

It took me having "the talk" with my husband about my drinking and getting his support that has allowed me to stay away from my RUM. That's when I found this website. It was a God Send. I found the added support here that I didn't have in my past attempts to stay AF. Oh I'm like you....I didn't drink for 4 months last year.....the other 8 months I was drunk probably 6 days a week. (Not just drinking, but drinking until drunk)

You can do this... Read around this website....see yourself in people and get to know them via PM's. That's what I did. You don't have to give out any info about yourself that you don't want to, but being annymous (sp) helps and you can express your feelings here.

Feel free to pm me anytime you want. I'm an old one (53), and had so many ups and downs with AL. I'm an expert at feeling so low about drinking and feeling so high about not drinking.

There are supplements that are talked about in a forum that may aid in you not drinking. I've not taken any of them, but check that out too.

You have help here....take it...and thank God that you have a supportive partner....

Take care.....WE CAN DO THIS One day at a time....:l:welcome:

Oh and I'm a smoker too. I just can't see stopping two vices at the same time. Please if you do just know that it's gonna be hard. I'll be praying for you. I'll stop smoking one day, but just not now. There are some here who have given up both at the same time and are doing great. One I know is sunshinegg.....Check out some of her post maybe she can help you in your journey.....Best of luck to you

[PHOTOGIRL]

Never drinking again

Hi Shattered!

:welcome:
Firstly, don't be hard on yourself or beat yourself up. When you're having a look round this site you'll see your not alone so that's a starting point. Secondly, you've got the support of your partner so that's fab. No secrets there (unlike me and a lot of us here). Then, don't rush into a decision as to what you want to eventuall be. I know after a bender like that it's easy to say "that's it, A/F and nothing else will do .....". Work out what works best for you. If eventually you can't have 1 without having 10 then fine, work towards A/F. If, though, you can work towards 4 days A/F and then have a few days drinking then go towards that. Either way, don't rush into it at the moment in that hangover moment.
So, have a good look round the site. Me, I'm on the TOPA which is working for me to moderate my drinking. I never wanted to be totally A/F. I just wanted to be happy and satisfied after 3 or 4 glasses of wine instead of 1 - 2 bottles. Good Luck and stick with it! :lx

[lilmea]

Never drinking again

Shattered,

There is so much helpful information here. The toolbox thread Starts mentioned really helped me when I first started. Read a lot and post. There is lots of support here. Good luck to you.

[gyco]

Never drinking again

hi shattered,not remembering what one says is horrible,getting loaded once in a while,isnt great for the mind and body,but,it can lead to total abuse later,this is a great site,the more you stick around the more youll be amased with what we all have here,you seem to have a grip most of the time,welcom gyco

[Seacailin]

Never drinking again

Welcome Shattered
I know exactly how you feel. I Hate the drunken me, and so does my whole family.
You have been given some great advice already. We are here to help, so stick around. One Day At A Time, right. Take good care of yourself. Lot's of water to flush out the poison.:l

[DeeBee]

Never drinking again

Hi Shattered and a HUGE welcome!!
Keep reading and posting, join one of the daily threads "Newbies Nest" "ODAT" there are many great ones.
I also suggest reading the book My Way Out and form there you can get a plan together.
All the best!!

[veritas]

Never drinking again

Hi Shattered,:welcome:

My first post here was after a bottle of wine downed in two hours. Next morning I was so ashamed. Thing is, the acceptance and non judgement helped me to come back and not give up.
I am now 22days AF after a few bumps and falls, but almost the longest that I have been in 18 years.
Stick around and work with the plan.
Good luck.

[upnorthgirl]

Never drinking again

yay for you

I think 22 days is awesome and I for one am very proud of you. :goodjob:

[savon19]

Never drinking again

It's weird how when we're drunk, we think we're witty and interesting... then sober up to find the opposite is true! Yet are able to do it again... BIG sigh!!

I got "sort of" drunk yesterday, called AND emailed ex-boyfriend. What an ass am I?? For sure, he thinks so. I don't even want to get back together... just was bored or something. ICK.

[bouchard01]

Never drinking again

Realizing you have a problem is a great start, now just make the changes. We are here and all trying to get better ourselves. Welcome.

[sunshine_gg]

Never drinking again

Oh dear, Shattered... :l

So many of us (I'm first in line) know exactly how you feel. And, we also know the notion of 'I'll never EVER drink again'. I'm not familiar with binge drinking - well, maybe I am.. only that I went on a binge every day - but many here are and I'm sure they will have great advice and suggestions for you.

I wish you all the best.

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