New and scared

[Dandy Kim]

I am brand new and have jumped in with both feet. Yesterday I ordered the book, tapes and starter package. Wine is my downfall - don't seem to be able to stop at one, two or three glasses. I thought it was a well kept secret. However, lately I have been really scared. I have drunk myself to oblivion on several occasions (when alone) and last week I drank too much wine at a social event and embarrassed my husband. He is supportive but doesn't seem to understand. He thinks I need therapy to resolve whatever huge problem I have that makes me drink. Frankly, I don't have a reason to drink - most people would envy my relatively stress free lifestyle. I loathe myself when I drink too much. Tonight I am rambling because I am alone - looked forward to a glass of wine (there was 1/2 bottle in the fridge) and it's gone.... and I am angry at my husband for tossing it. I have SO MANY questions - please someone tell me the kudzu actually does help with the cravings.
Thanks for reading.

[Miss Behaving]

New and scared

Kim :welcome:

You have come to a good place ....many (all?) of us start here scared, confused etc etc etc

Read the book and take time to check out a few different threads .... some are light, some are serious, some ask questions, some give lots of info etc etc

If the wine is gone, is this a good day to try doing without and see how it feels??

Your husband is possibly as scared and confused as you are and in my experience "normal"drinkers just don't get how hard it is for people who have a problem with alcohol to come to grips with it. Cant answer your questions on kudzu as I don't take it myself, but if you check out the holistic healing thread I'm sure there will be some info on thre about it.

Good luck and keep reading and posting!!

[christyacc]

New and scared

Welcome!

You aren't alone. I don't have a reason to drink either. The only thing I can come up with is boredom. I too loathe myself when I drink too much. I hope some day I amy be able to control it, but who knows.

Again, welcome, never fear...you aren't alone and you will have a ton of support.

Take care of yourself, PM me any time.

[Kirova]

New and scared

Hi Kim! The kudzu and (especially) the L-glutamine helped stem the cravings for me. Also, lots of alternative liquids (water, tea, etc.) and whatever distractions you can come up with. Think of this as a period of extreme "self care." :h

[Arial]

New and scared

Hi Kim and welcome!

I find the CDs really helpful - I don't know whether it's just psychological, or whether it's because when I use them its during a period where I KNOW I've got to get this under control and therefore try and make other life-style changes like excercise, taking time for me (health spa, retail therapy!) etc. You will find what works for you but attacking it from as many angles as possible to start is a good idea! Maybe talking to your husband about it would help - or have him read the book as well. I know if someone in my house hold poured the drink away I would find it hard - I know it's because he cares and he's frightened, but he can't do this for you - you have to do this yourself so it should be YOU to pour the drink away - and believe me, when you're ready - you will!

This is a great place to be and you'll find enourmous support and understanding, so good luck and keep posting!

[upnorthgirl]

New and scared

Welcome Kim

This is a great place to be, a lifesaver for many of us. Love, support and no negative judgements! :welcome: Get the CD's and the supps and the book and if it works for you,, tell people your plan. Some keep this journey to themselves. For me, it works if I let lots of people know I am struggling. Your choice--but come here and we will be here for each other.:l

[aprilmoon]

New and scared

:welcome: Kim,

I was at my lowest when I found this website. I know how you feel, most of us have felt just like you. My poison is RUM. I had half a huge bottle left when I started on this website. My husband, who rarely drinks, said that I should keep it to see how strong I could be. I asked the question here if I should throw it out or not. Most said that I needed to dump it out. I did and I am glad I did. There was a day (back on about 27 or 28 of my AF days) that had it been in the house I would have drank it all. I had no good reason for wanting to drink it other than I just wanted to drink it and get drunk. I'm glad it wasn't in the house. I haven't bought any more. I wish your husband had allowed you to make the decision of whether to pour it out or not. That way you wouldn't be feeling he took something from you.

People who do not have a drinking problem just don't understand us. That's a fact. My husband can have a beer or a mixed drink and stop at one. I can't have just one because I drink to get drunk. Why? I don't know. I have a wonderful life....I just love to drink.

You will get lots of support here. Read and post was the advice I got when I was new here. You will see yourself in so many people's post. I wish you the very best in your journey!:l

[lilmea]

New and scared

Kim,

My HB rarely drinks either. He does try to be as supportive as he can but doesn't understand why I struggle so. Right now he is just glad I'm not drinking and that's good enough for me. Your HB may have poured out your wine but it will have to be your decision not to buy any more. I don't keep AL in the house. I also changed my driving habits so I didn't drive by the liquor store. And I never go down the liquor isle in the grocery store.

This site is great. It's full of supportive people struggling with the same problems you are. Look around, read and post and ask lots of questions if you want. Check out the Toolbox thread in the Monthly Abstainers section. There is great information there about dealing with cravings and making a plan.

Also drink lots of water, juice. Hot tea and honey became my best friend for awhile! Exercising also helped me with the cravings and just made me feel better. Stay strong and hang in there! It does get better.

[Seacailin]

New and scared

Welcome Kim.

[mooderator]

New and scared

CRIKEY WALLEY 22

Firstly and just briefly to Wally....that thing you said about tea....it just resonated with me so much that I laughed out loud when I read it. I too drink the pot and not just a cup of an evening.....had not thought of that as being binge tea drinking...it really amused me.


To Dandy Kim

Again another welcome and I agree you will find lots of people here to help and assist in many different ways. We are each here from a slightly different perspective or background (with alcohol) but we all appreciate this is hard and help is needed. I promise you if you commit to the site and use it regularly in whichever way works best for you, it will help you.

There is chat if you want to talk to someone, posts if you have questions, comments or need support and also PMs which are good for more personal contact, as with any community you are bound to find certain people resonate with you better than others. There is also drinktracker which I am finding very good - makes me more accountable


Good luck and again welcome...from Moo

[polaryzed]

New and scared

Welcome Dandy

Agreed, this is a great forum. You'll find some saddness and some laughter too but most of all you find people who geniunly care and want to be supportive of you.

Welcome and please keep reading and threading, also some say the Newbies Nest is a good place to begin, I am an adventurer so I like to flit everywhere in and out of the Nest.

Keep well Dandy . . .

[sunshine_gg]

New and scared

Welcome Kim!

You sound just like me Long term affair with the brothers Merlot and Chardonnay. And absolutely NO good reason to drink. Although, I'm not sure there ever is a good reason.

Anywhoo... I'm glad you stumbled into our midst here; this really is a wonderful, safe place. Even more so than the book, I found that reading through these posts here I gained a greater understanding of our 'condition' as well as comfort and hope.

My advice to you is to arm yourself with as many weapons and tools as you can (speaking of which... check out the toolbox thread, too - I have it bookmarked) - but in the end, it comes down to YOUR determination. YOU have to really WANT to change. Change your way of doing things that used to revolve around AL, change your thinking, and change your habits.

I wish you strength and success

.

[tlrgs]

New and scared

welcome kim

[bouchard01]

New and scared

Hello

Welcome from me too ....

[Joanna]

New and scared

Hi Kim

:welcome: adore the wine, don't have a reason to drink myself to oblivion as well. You will be able to relate to many stories here. Don't take the Kudzu myself but you'll have to try and see if it works for you. It's an individual thing. It's hard as hell at the beginning. I gritted my teeth between 5 and 9 every evening and downed gallons of tea (thanks Wally). Don't expect it to be easy and just think of taking each day on its own. Having said that, many advise making a plan and I'm sure this can work for many. It's a multi faceted approach. There are lots of things you can try; you have to see which combination works for you. This forum will help you; use it as a lifeline.

Don't be too hard on yourself but be determined :l