i just cant stop, really need help

[BecomingMeAtLast]

i just cant stop, really need help

How are you doin' now, shel?

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

and yes, becoming me, i know i deserve better than this, thankyou

[BecomingMeAtLast]

i just cant stop, really need help

No, shel, you are worth it! I've just got to go and wanted to make sure you are ok. I should figure you are with Zen and ung, though!

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

i'm ok, just contemplating a few things - the wine has gone and i'm just thinking, i love my boyfriend even through the things that have happened, he's asked me to move back in and i think i will because i cant live at moms anymore there is no room for me. i'm not putting up with his shit anymore though, one wrong move and thats it, i'd rather spend my time on my moms front room floor.

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

i love small chunk branston too!! yum

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

we rent a place together, in a nutshell one night he got so leathered he smacked me all around my head and hit my head against a wall causing me a lot of bruisng on my forehead. he had been violent before but not often only when he's been completley off his face, not a regular occurance

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

no, i dont think your a nosey bitch at all, alcohol has always been an issue for me i', 28 now but alcohol has had impact on my life for the last ten years

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

i am 27, he is now 30, ive tried accessing chat but i cant obviously something wrong somewhere- it just goes to blank screen and nothing happens!! ive no problem chattiing here if you want to, i doubt anybody is going to read all this and if they do it is probably because they are looking for answers themselves and it may be of some help/?

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

its just a big head screw up for me at the moment, have a really good job, good life could be so good, but i have this drinking problem that surfaces in the early hours - i work all kinds of shifts so it could be anytime for me, and i just drink... i drink and that makes it all worse, i'm in a safe place now but i miss my boyfriend and i love him, i know i cant make excuses for what hes done but he's at his wits end with me.. hes found me collapsed so many times and had to ring for emergency services because of the wa y im behaving god i hate myself.. does that make sense?

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

yes he holds it fine and knows when he says he's had enough... ive posted on here before and make no shame of the fact that he has hit me and only last weekend hit my head against the wall, that is the reason i have moved to kive with ny mum. ive spoken to him since and he is distraught about what has happened but has told me about the way i behaved that night (i have no recollection of this) but i know that when i am aggressive i am very aggressive whilst drunk - i'm just in peices i hate to hink of myself so aggressive. but know it may possibly try , but that doesnt give him right to bang my head!! arggghh

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

Hey Zen

your not coming over as preachy because reading your last post is exactly what i'd be saying to someboby too and i can almost hear myself saying it! cos i'd say the same to someone in my situation and i have said he same to women in my situation. i will not be rushing into any decsions and as uncomfortable as it is will be staying at my mums for some time yet (poor woman!)

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

ok ready

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

got it

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

ok thanks xxx not sue about how i go about the phone thingy thoug ( not that i plan to phone you constantly hah ) how does it work?

[shelley]

i just cant stop, really need help

shelley is a cool name and yes i know how phone calls work! just not sure about this whole free phone thingy, anyways speak soon xx