I don't know if I am an Alcoholic or a habitual drinker!
My story is one that started later in life, I did not drink in my teens or twenties but only started in my early thirties. I love white wine and only that...if the wine dried up I am not sure what I would do!
I was a controller of a very busy A&E Ambulance control and the stress lead me to start hitting the bottle but probably about 4 glasses a night and at least 14 AL free days a month. I then got promoted and the stress of being away from home all week and driving on average 200 mls a day took its toll. Sitting in a hotel Sun to Fri soon led me to drinking over a bottle of wine an evening.
Eventually I took a career break as it got too much but the drinking did not cease. In Nov 2006 I was bitten my one of dogs bad enough to be hospitalised for 5 days and that was the start of a year AL.
For some reason I started again and vowed not to get back in the same senario but I did... again in 2007 I stopped for another 6 months but started again when my partner of 16 years asked me to marry him and the pressure of organising a wedding within 6 months and on top of that selling and buying a house in the same period led me to go back to my old habits.
Now we are settled but I continue to drink on average a bottle and a half a night, sometimes more if my partner is off and we start about 4pm. On my own I will not start till about 8pm but still manage a bottle.
The problem is I love the buzz but never get drunk enough to make a idiot out of myself nor remember the night before and never have a hangover!
I know I drink far, far to much and need at least to cut down. I hoped that on registering with a new GP that the new patient blood tests would some how show a problem with the liver function test but no! Which, now at the back of my mind says ... Wow thats ok carry on as you are!! But I don't want to.
I have ordered supplements to cut down the cravings and hope that I have enough will power to manage at least 2 AL days a week and no more than 3 units a day but I am not sure if I will.
My partner also drinks to excess, which does not help but he works 7 night shifts in 14 days so MOST of his night shifts are AF but he does sometimes has a can of beer in the morning before he goes to bed.
He unlike me can have a can a 4pm and nothing till 7 or 8 but once I start I cannot stop, no such thing as one ot two.
I am not depressed, angry or anything I am just a hard working lass in a new house with my new husband and 7 dogs that cannot get out of this rut.
Thanks for listening :thanks:
Comment